Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Infloofuitive (floofinition) – the An animal’s ability to understand something that a human or another animal is going do to without the need for conscious reasoning.
In use: “Perhaps it was just ingrained habits, but his Doxie (Carmichael the Great) always infloofuitively knew where he was going to sit and got there first, smiling at him with toothy joy as if saying, beat you.”
Syncfloofnicity (floofinition) – Simultaneous animal behavior that seems coordinated and planned.
In use: “Acting in syncfloofnicity, the cat and dog jumped up when the door opened, stretched and yawned, tails up, and then trotted over to greet her as she said hello, sitting down in front of her for attention.”
Ably supervised by two jigfloofs, we completed our third puzzle of 2020, London Bridge. We happened to find this puzzle at the Goodwill and purchased it for $4.49 (with my military discount). It’d never been opened. Inside was an offer that expired in March, 2003.
I didn’t share a photo of jigsaw #2, which were cardinals (yeah, the birds, not the religious folk) and finches in a winter scene. My partner took it apart the very next morning after it was finished. Hence the quick photo of this one, completed just one hour ago.
Cheers
Floofbador (floofinition) – 1. A class of poets who focus their lyrical attempts on writing about animals.
In use: “He wasn’t a floofbador, despite his efforts to create haifloofs.”
2. A person who likes singing to animals.
In use: “Each day, she sat down to be a floofbador by singing opera, immediately drawing the shepherd to her presence, where he anxiously tried looking into her mouth to see what was going on.”
3. A singing animal, particularly of traditional floof songs such as the classic, “Feed Me Now”.
In use: “Every morning, usually at about five thirty, depending on the weather (she wasn’t fond of cold, wind, or precipitation), the neighbor’s little feline floofbador stole in through the pet door, went to the bed, and began her song of desperate hunger, belying her plump appearance.”
Afloofment (floofinition) – 1. The state of being amused by an animal’s behavior.
In use: “Everyone enjoyed watching amusing animal behavior, but the web facilitated an explosion of afloofment as people posted and shared funny animal actions by the thousands each day.”
2. Activity done to entertain or distract animals, especially housepets.
In use: “After a new pet joins the household, people typically exert time and thought to see what afloofment their new fur friend likes, trying games like fetch, tag, and rassle.”
The highway dream began with ice cream.
Bowls of fresh ice cream covered a small table. There were different flavors and colors. As I checked the ice cream, I realized that some of it was blueberry. I thought, that would be tasty.
Mom was there, and my wife. Mom said, “There’s more ice cream in the freezer. The freezer’s not working so we need to get rid of all this ice cream because it’s going to melt.”
Get rid of ice cream? Why don’t we just eat it, or give it to people to eat?
Nobody wanted ice cream because they’d had too much ice cream. Cats and kittens came along. I scooped spoons of ice cream out for them to eat, which they did. Then I gave them a bowl.
Time to go. My wife and I got into a car. (I didn’t see the car at all in the dream but knew it as mine.) We were immediately on an broad, convoluted highway with many lanes. Traffic was heavy. Following signs, we ended up a hill along a long curve that went to the right.
I passed a man on a copper-colored motorcycle with a sidecar. He was in the right hand lane and I was in the middle lane. I thought my car had bumped him, and I worried. Trying to check, I couldn’t see the sides of my car. I couldn’t see any of the car, in fact, so I didn’t know where I was in the lane. This unnerved me.
I stepped on the accelerator to go faster. We were still going up a long, curving hill. The man in the copper motorcycle began passing us. I didn’t want that, so I pressed harder on the accelerator. Still going up the curve, we began slowing down, going slower and slower until we pulled into a place where the highway ended and stopped.
I didn’t understand. The highway had ended. How the hell did we end up here? My wife and I got out of the car to ask questions and found ourselves with others in the same situation. We’d all been following the highway but had ended up stuck here, off the highway.
We were told, “You were all going the wrong way. That’s why you’re here.”
Going the wrong way? I’d been going straight, following the road. There wasn’t any other way to go. How could that be the wrong way? And, I protested, “It doesn’t make sense. The faster that I tried to go, the slower I went.” It frustrated me.
Another man agreed, saying, “Yeah, that’s what was happening to me.”
It seemed like I could learn more up a small hill. It was a paved white cement ramp. I started that way but people told me, “Don’t go that way. If you do, they’ll arrest you.”
But I wanted to see what was going on, and I thought that going up there could help.
“No,” others kept telling me, including a woman dressed in an official-looking uniform. “If you go up there, you will be arrested.”
A few others were going up there. From what I could see, they were being taken away.
I decided not to go up there. Staying where I was wasn’t working, though. I told my wife, “Come on, let’s get back in the car.”
“Where we going?” she asked as others asked me, “Where are you going? What are you doing?”
I said, “I’m going back down there.”
“But that’s the wrong way,” everyone said.
I said, “I know. But I’m going back down there, to where the wrong way began, and figure out how to get out of here.”
People were telling me not to go there, but I was adamant. I felt, being who I am, I could go back and figure it out, and fix the problem. With my wife with me in the car, I began driving backwards back down the road.
The dream ended.
Flooflicious (floofinition) – Something that is highly pleasant in taste, smell, or appeal to an animal.
In use: “The cats each varied which canned food they’d eat and what kibble they preferred, but when it came to tuna water, all agreed that it was whisker-licking flooflicious.
Floofinist (floofinition) (archaic) – Ancient floofish term for a person who treated and cared for animals during the Age of Afloofination, the period when animals came to Earth and became acquainted with humans.
In use: “Not trained as a vet (indeed, she had no formal education — she didn’t even graduate from a secondary school), she displayed a remarkable affinity for animals’ health and moods, and upon learning of floofinists from the Quenta Floovarillion, adapted it for herself.”
Flooface (floofinition) – The facial expression that people don while addressing animals.
In use: “Squatting down to the speak to the large dog, she raised a hand, finger extended for him to smell, put on an inviting flooface, and adopted a comforting tone of voice to earn his trust.”
Michael Seidel, writer 