A Sprawling Flood Dream

At the start, my wife and I are vacationing on the coast. She and I become separated (as often happens in my dreams that feature her, an intriguing trend).

While we’re apart, I get lost on some mountain. Eventually, I find a path and decide that it might take me to where I want to go. Impatient to have it resolved, I begin running along the path.

The path goes up and down mountains. Although it’s strenuous, I run it with little effort, and can see myself, in short blue gym shorts, young, muscles pumping.

I come to a place and slow. The path is cutting through this place. I can guess from what I see that it’s a vineyard. Encountering a young boy and a woman, I ask for directions. They assure me that I’m on the right path for where I want to go. I worry, though, am I trespassing. It’s fine, they assure me.

Off I go.

Now I’m back at the hotel with my wife. We’re in the dining room. The hotel is an older place, a motel affair from the vintage sixties of U.S. road travel. Not completely run down, but far south of its splendor years.

A large package has just arrived for my wife. She’s excited. Before she can open, though, I look up. Outside, through the open door, I can see roiling white waters rushing towards us.

“Flood,” I shout, pointing. Repeating all that, I grab my wife. As she sees what I’m pointing out, she takes up the warning, and then the woman behind the counter does the same.

My wife and I rush into our room. We leave the door open. I open the window, with the reasoning, if the water enters and gets high enough, it’ll go out the window, and we’ll be safe. We get on the bed to watch and wait. The cats, I remember. I hope they’ll be okay. I don’t know where they’re at.

The water comes into the room. The room quickly fills. Soon the water is going out the window, but more water is coming in. The mattress is floating. Then, I float out the window with my wife’s large package. I’m trying to save it, but I’m taken out to sea.

It’s not the sea, I realize. It’s a river, and I’m rushing toward waterfalls. Knowing that, I frantically swim against the current. I can’t do it while holding onto my wife’s package, so I let it go. Unburdened by it, I swim toward some fallen trees. Grabbing branches, I pull myself to the shore and out of the water, saving myself.

But I’m miles downstream, I realize. I need to get back to the hotel once again. Fortunately, I recognize the winery.

I go there. One, there’s no flooding there. Their weather is delightful. Two, they don’t remember me at first. It takes some prompting. I take some time to admire the vineyard and learn about the property’s history. It reminds me of Italy.

I run back to the hotel. The water has receded. Clean up is underway. I talk to my wife about the vineyard, telling her that I admire the people’s foresight in buying the property. She’s snide about it. I try explaining again.

Then I remember the cats. I’m worried about them. Could they survive this disaster?

I find one of the cats, a ginger and white, right away. He looks dead but when I say his name, he responds and comes to me. He seems fine. I put him in a laundry basket for protection and resume my search.

The search is interrupted. We’ve left the hotel and checked out, but we didn’t turn in the key. My wife has it, but gives it to me. It’s a standard key on a large, plastic diamond. I’m supposed to be going somewhere, so I promise to turn in the key.

Then I remember, the cats. I was looking for them. Of I go to find the cats. I find a cache of cats that include kittens. They all dry, but they all seem dead. I’m horrified, but remembering my earlier experience, I speak to them, reassuring them that the storm is over. They all open their eyes and start leaping out, safe.

But where are my cats? I find the third. He’s okay. Where are the other two? After searching, I remember that I found them and put them in laundry baskets.

I hurry to that location. There they are, safe in their baskets, waiting for me. I set them free.

Now I’m in my car, a small sports convertible (another trend to my dreams). I drive to the hotel to turn in the key. I’m blocking operations of some sort that I can’t understand. The road here is a muddy set of two tire tricks along a grassy path. I drive forward and stop. A young Clint Eastwood is part proprietor. He’s working on something, insists I’m in his way, and urges me to go on. I show him the key and explain why I’m here. Mollified, he accepts the key. We wave good-byes, and I drive off.

I go down the road a bit. I need to leave my car to get to where I’m going. I enter a large, well-appointed dining room. Chandeliers hang from the ceiling. Crystal, china, and silverware sparkle on white table clothes.

There are few people there. Two are Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler. Talking with them, I explain where I’m trying to go. Adam tells me that I’m on the right path. Drew agrees, telling me to listen to Adam because he’s followed that path and knows what needs to be done.

I go deeper into the building. I’m carrying a package. I’m at the the top of a steep, narrow stairwell. I’m supposed to go down here. The package is too big for those steps. I need to leave it.

I hear a young boy. He’s with his family and he’s throwing a tantrum. He and I look across the space. I tell him, “Shh, it’s okay.” He stops crying and goes on.

I begin to descend the steps. Something makes me turn around. I see the boy. Although it’s as large as him, he’s about to steal my package.

I threaten him, warning him that if it’s gone when I come back, I’m coming after him. He starts crying. I hug him and tell him that it’s okay. He stops crying.

The dream ends.

The Rolling Floofs

The Rolling Floofs (floofinition) – A musical floof group formed by two cats, a dog, several hamsters, and a bird during the 1960s, known for their rock and floof songs.

In use: “Whenever The Rolling Floofs’ early songs come on, such as “Get Off of My Tail”, “(I Can’t Get No) Decent Treats”, or “Under My Paw”, other floofs remember where they were when the song first came out and sing along.”

Floofnado

Floofnado (floofinition) – 1. Whirlwinds or wind devils caused by the passage of a speedy, energetic animal.

In use: “Quiet conversations about the upcoming wedding were disrupted by a floofnado as the dog rocketed into the room, dashed around, evading a child chasing it, and sprinted back out of the room.”

2. A wind-based weather phenomena with an animal embedded in it.

In use: “One of the most famous examples of floofnado was a waterspout which had captured several sharks, becoming known as a sharknado.”

 

 

Melanfloofy

Melanfloofy (floofinition) – An animal who expresses a state of sadness without discernible or apparent reason.

In use: “The big golden red retriever seemed melanfloofy, showing little interest in going for a walk, which was definitely abnormal. Head resting on his front paws, he settled in his bed and stared out the front window for most of the morning. Then a cat walked up and peered in. Tail thumping his bed, Red leaped up. Melissa concluded, my dog is in love with a cat.”

Simon & Garfloofel

Simon & Garfloofel (floofinition) – American singing duo consisting of a chipmunk (Simon, who later joined other groups), and a long-haired poodle, known for their pop-floof medleys, reaching their greatest period of fame during the nineteen sixties.

In use: “Floof-One, the all-floof station, began its first broadcast day with a retrospective of the greatest floofsicians in floof culture. The show began with the floof invasion and  The Beagles, then continued with The Beach Floofs, followed by Simon & Garfloofel, and their hits, led by “The Sounds of Kibble”.

Floof! The Pets.

Floof! The Pets. (floofinition) – An American rock duo known for their eclectic style, which critics sometimes describe as “caterwauling and barking”.

In use: “Floof! The Pets. burst on the music scene with a song that quickly passed six zillion downloads, “Feel It Still”, about male animals who have been neutered. Many young housepets identified with its message about others’ attempts to change who they are.”

Bruce Floofstein

Bruce Floofstein (floofinition) – Famous floof-singer from the United States, known for floof rock.

In use: “As a composer and singer, Bruce Floofstein has a kibble bag of noteworthy hits. None resonated as far and wide as his biggest number one song, “Playin’ in the Dark”, a rousing melody about kittens and puppies giving into to restless urges while humans generally sleep.”

Floofretta

Floofretta (floofinition) – A form of theater conducted by animals, frequently housepets.

In use: “The housefloofs often entertained themselves after Penney returned home by performing parts of “The Floof of Floofville”, a floofmedy about love, kibble, and furballs.”

Floofnomics

Floofnomics (floofinition) – A social science that deals with the production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services in relation to household pets.

In use: “In many homes, floofnomics includes losses (thefts, really) incurred by pets stealing food, or taking and hiding other items, such as socks and toys. Few are the owners that haven’t discovered part of their planned meal purloined.”

Floofissimo

Floofissimo (floofinition) – For an animal to move very softly.

In use: “She set down a plate of donuts on the table. The cat watched her return to the kitchen for coffee, then, floofissimo, trotted to the table, jumped up, seized a donut with her teeth, and left.”

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