Floofcial(floofinition) – 1. Involving or relating to animal activities in which people spend time talking to animals, doing enjoyable things with animals, or sponsoring events which benefit animals.
In use: “A cat floofcial was happening in the backyard, with the three resident cats in their customary places being visited by three neighbor cats sitting on the fences, stopping by to say hello and chew the kibble, so to speak.”
2. Experience of an animal cleaning a human face with its tongue.
“Whenever she got home, her dog had to conduct a thorough floofcial, as if he was cleansing her of the outside world.”
Floof Alone(floofinition) – Comedy film about animals’ floofnanigans when they’re behind at home during a holiday and thwart criminals’ attempts to break into the house.
In use: “One of the highlights in Floofs Alone is the sequence when the burglars are kept from entering the house because of traps set by the home’s cats, dog, and bird through clever use of their toys, litter box, aided by the bird’s ability to mimic noises such as police sirens and guns firing, a skill acquired by observing the children’s video games.”
Infloofnito(floofinition) – Animals’ ability to change shapes and appear as someone or something other than who and what they are.
In use: “Animals sometimes employ their infloofnito skills for fun, becoming part of the furniture as a joke on their people, watching as they walk around, calling their names and hunting for them.”
Dateline: Ashland, Oregon, USA. Friday, November 11, 2021. Sunrise allegedly came to the valley at 6:57 AM after a night of mild temperatures that drooped to 42 degrees F. Three cats were said to have witnessed the sunrise. This reporter reached out for confirmation but all phone calls and emails were initially ignored before one cat, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “Listen. Time exists. But that clock and calendar crap is all human.”
“Surely animals pay attention to time.”
“Sure, but we don’t try to carve it down to tiny pieces to eat like humans do. Listen, there’s small time and big time.”
“Small and big time?”
“You don’t know this? Humans are so dumb. Small time is eating time, sleeping time, bathing time, screwing time, and playing time. That’s all the time you need. I don’t need anything fancy, like seven o’clock, to know it’s eating time. And we don’t call eating time a bunch of different names. You’re eating. That’s all you need to know. Humans complicate everything.”
“But what about hunting and killing? Animals do these things.”
“As part of eating, or screwing, but most of us only do it when necessary. Killing takes a lot of energy.”
I was scribbling in haste but he was turning away. “What’s big time?”
“Being born and dying.” He sauntered away, speaking over his shoulder. “Now leave me alone. It’s sleeping time.”
For theme music today, I’m going with Rod Stewarts’s 1989 song, “Forever Young”. I’d never seen the video before. Was living in Germany for the military and didn’t get a chance. Probably could’ve but didn’t watch much television in those days.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed by situation, and get the vax and booster when you can. I’m scheduled for the booster next Tuesday. I’ll ask the cats to give you an update once it’s done. Now. Need coffee. Enjoy the tune. Cheers
Solflooftary(floofinition) – Being alone with nobody except an animal.
In use: “Many people find solflooftary time to be the most pleasant and rewarding part of the day, whether it’s walking the dog, visiting with a horse or bird, sitting with a cat or dog sleeping on their lap, or other activities.”
Snowfloofcross – (floofinition – Games with animals which involve snow, jumps, and turns.
In use: “She always loved introducing her new pets to the snow and watching their reactions. The cats and kittens — except for his meowjasty, Henry the Eighth, of course, who did all with excited abandonment — all walked with frozen stiffness (sorry), shaking off their feet. But the puppies initiated a snowfloofcross, gamboling around with snowy sloppiness.”
Hello to my fellow earthbound carbon-based life forms, and I include the non-sentient. You know who you are (ha, ha).
Today is Tuesday, November 11, 2021, where time keeps speeding up. Or is it just me? Nature regaled us with a windstorm that sounded like ocean waves crashing out in the street. Rain splayed all over every outdoor surface. Yet all is calm and sunny this morning. The sun glided into the valley on light golden wings at 6:54 AM and will bath us with her light until 4:55 PM. Temperatures will, per the season, hang between 38 and 55 degrees F.
A Bob Seger ballad from 1978 has infiltrated the morning mental music stream. Blame it on the weather. Blame it on the cats. See, heavy winds were blowing. Precipitation was dashing against the house. It was almost midnight. Temps weren’t bad at 43 degrees F. And Youngblood, the ginger sweetheart formally known as Papi (formerly known as Meep) wanted out. I explained to him about the weather. How I didn’t like him going out at all. But he’s a youngfloof. Stubborn and persistent. Though I kept telling him, why don’t you stay in, he demanded to be let out. I caved. He was back in fifteen minutes, when he then just retired to sleep a few hours.
Anyway, my words to him prompted “We’ve Got Tonight” to begin playing because, “Why don’t you stay?” Seeing how it’s entrenched amongst my neurons, I thought I’d offer a reminder of the song up to the greater world.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get the vax and booster when you can. I’m scheduled for my booster next Tuesday, a week from today. Let’s be safe out there. Here’s the music. I must go make my coffee. Cheers
“Life is the essence. The essence is rock and roll. Rock and roll is life.” – Dead Smokers’ Society
Ahoy. How are my fellow travelers this day? For further reference, this day shall be defined as Monday, November 8, 2021. Not many days are left to this hallow year. The countdown has commenced; the end is nigh. Fake Christmas trees are being advertised as on sale on television, discounted up to 50%. What a bargain.
Sunrise was a pleasant diffusion to night at 6:52 AM, rolling in louder and bolder through a sky unwrinkled by clouds and their threats. Sunset cometh at 4:59 PM. With that short period and the tilt, we expect highs in the low fifties F and lows in the thirties. It’s 39 F at the moment. BTW, a strong wind advisory has been issued for this afternoon and evening. Batten down the light stuff and bring the domestic beasts in.
Two of our housecats have taken to the change in time without issue. They just seem to accept the time change. The problems anticipated from them didn’t materialize. The old man, however, arose at his usual hour, visited my face, then went down to the bedroom entrance and grumbled his annoyance. “It’s breakfast time. Where is my food? What’s the matter with you? Why aren’t you getting my food for me? What have I done to you that you treat me in this callous manner?”
Yes is dominating the morning mental music stream with a 1983 song, “Changes”. Specific lyrics inspired its rise:
Change changing places Changes Root yourself to the ground Word to the wise – Well you get what’s coming One word – One word can bring you round Changes
h/t to AZLyrics.com
Remember, let’s stay positive out there. Test negative. Wear a mask as needed. Get the vax and booster when you can. Here’s the music. Carpe diem. I’m gonna go seize a cuppa coffee. Cheers
Crotch Floof(floofinition) – Animal who obsesses with human crotches.
In use: “Bill had two crotch floofs; a dog that greeted everyone by thrusting his nose into visitors’ crotches, and a twenty-two pound tuxedo cat who insisted on sleeping on Bill’s crotch whenever he sat or lay down.”
It’s gonna be a bright, bright, bright, sunny day, if the opening hours are to judge. Got cold last night — 33 degrees F, so not freezing, but cold — cold enough for the cats to decline their nocturnal outings (“Are you crazy? I’m not going out there.”) — and the sun broke through with a fierce come back at the early time of 5:51 AM. While it’s clear, a cold front cleared out the clouds, so we’ll be seeing a high of only 51 F. Maybe 53. We’ll see. Sunset will take over at 4:58 PM.
h/t to That Oregon Life on Facebook.
Today is Sunday, November 7, 2021. A disco fever song is burning the morning mental music stream. “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees came out in 1978. After that, there was no escapin’ the song, or the Bee Gees. Bee Gee music and this particular song seemed to be everywhere, mostly because the music was from Saturday Night Fever, a movie with tsunami-like cultural impact on the U.S. I thought, given the environmental response to the pandemic — wear a mask, socially distance, stay true to your pod, isolate and quarantine when necessary — that it’s a good song for this era.
Now it’s time for my first coffee of the new time period. Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get the vax and booster when you can. Here’s the music. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 