Clusterfloof (floofinition) – A situation involving animals that is disastrously mishandled or problems verging on disaster that involve animals.
In use: “For many people with pets, putting up a Christmas tree rapidly escalates into a clusterfloof.”
Floofmongous
Floofmongous (floofinition) – A huge animal, or animal especially large for its breed or species.
In use: “The floofmongous Derry, a German Shepherd, bounded into the room with one bark that deafened all, and a happy, toothy grin on his face.”
Floofmeld
Floofmeld (floofinition) – State where a human and one or more animals, or several animals, are in agreement with what’s to be done.
In use: “With a dim day outside highlighted by battering winds, chilly temperatures, and intermittent rain, she and the floofs had a floofmeld, heading to the sofa with a blanket, snacks, and a book, to laze away the day in warmth and comfort. Before two many pages were turned, all three were curled up in sleep.”
Haifloof #70
Cold rain is falling
Floofs curl up in warmth inside
And the house is calm
Confloofdential
Confloofdential (floofinition) – Information which animals are only privy to know.
In use: “The cat urgently needed into the hall closet for confloofdential reasons, and the man had to comply in accordance with the Earth Floof Accords.”
Floofnipulate
Floofnipulate (floofinition) – To alter or change behavior or intentions by an animal’s actions.
In use: “As he went into the kitchen for a cup of coffee, his cat tried to floofnipulate him into petting him by darting into his path and issuing little grunts, forcing him to take a zigzag course.”
Floofmate
Floofmate (floofinition) – 1. Animal or human’s position during an interaction which stops the other from moving.
In use: “The cat employed love eyes, a loud purr, and air biscuits to pin Rosie to her chair (with him on her lap) and gain floofmate.”
2. Animal or person who is a companion to another animal, or an animal who accompanies a person.
In use: “Scooby the little Yorkie and Loki, the big black cat, were constant floofmates, not just to one another, but to Beda, helping her in every aspect of her life at home, always there, no matter what was going on, unless it involved the vacuum cleaner.”
A Writing Dream
I fell asleep in bed thinking about a scene. Those thoughts immediately transported me to a dream where I was at a desk, trying to type. I then rose from the desk and walked to the other room to get coffee. A noise distracted me, drawing me down a hall. The hall was considerably darker than the rest of the house, skinning me with edginess. I was questioning who was in there and whether it was safe to go down the hall. I looked for a suitable weapon but went on without anything.
Coming out from the other end of the hall, I was outside. Across the way, I saw three people. Two confronting a third. I took a few steps toward them, then halted with the realization that I was witnessing the scene I’d been writing. I moved closer to them, trying to hear, and then shifted. Suddenly, I was more akin to a camera, focusing on one person, moving in on close-ups, then flashing to another as the conversation bounced around.
At that point, I started awake. After parting my eyelids to anchor myself, I snuggled deeper. Darkness enveloped the bedroom. I was warm under the covers. My trusty sleepfloof, Tucker, drew up and rubbed his head on my exposed hand. I kept lethargically petting him, floating in and out of sleep and the dream, writing in my head, and writing in the dream. When I awoke this morning and remembered that, the sheer level of writing overwhelmed me. I’d completed that scene and go on to three others. The effort spent me, though. Trying to type it up, it all burst in on me. I typed fast, hanging on to words and moments, straining to keep up.
My brain feels overwhelmed. I need more coffee.
Michael Seidel, writer 