Tag: satire

Monday’s Theme Music

Mood: summerpositive

The cats and I agree, it’s a strong sun today, biting my skin with its heat, blinding my eyes (yes, what else would it be blinding — my ears?) with its light. Not supposed to be hot today, just 87 F, and it’s just 67 F now. This is Monday, Jun 24, 2024.

The cats are pratically living in the backyard, slumbering beneath bushes or stretched out, floof-napping in green patches of lawn. They come in to visit me, get fed, and use the litter box, and then dash back out. Reminds me of being a young child in the summers, doing the same with Mom. Except I didn’t use a litter box. Not in those days.

I jest, of course! Spoke with Dad yesterday. He’s down. They — the omniscient they here is the medical staff — are pushing for the dialysis port, and he doesn’t want to go through with that. He seems fazed by the surgery and claims he doesn’t want to be a burden on people, as others would need to drive him to his appointments several times a week. I’m sure he will go through with the procedure but he needs to work himself up to it. I called him this morning to chat with him but reached his voice mail. I need to call Mom to catch her up on that news. Never did call her yesterday.

Terrible flooding in the midwest. Iowa was severely hit. Evacuations were ordered and bridges collapsed. I remember flying over the plains states decades ago. The floating and the heat dome are connected events. Hope the climate doesn’t get any worse or the nation and its citizens might start getting worried. Yeah, that’s snark, baby.

My spouse picked up a nice Charles Wysocki jigsaw puzzle at Ashlandia’s library of things yesterday. I thought we should have some on hand for more Internet outages. We began the puzzle last night, even though the net didn’t go out. Lovely little beach scene featuring an old house where a high school kite flying club meets. Kites lean against an old fence in the sand and a heart shaped balloon, tethered to the gate, floats above the scene, red against a cloudy blue and white backdrop. A few sailboats skim choppy waters in the background. I can almost smell that ocean.

Other than these matters and the standard form of our days of eating, cleaning, writing, reading, it’s quiet. I accept quiet. Still recuperating with my ankle issue.

Today’s music comes by way of Willy Nelson. I was reading about his show cancellations and the article reminded me of a gay cowboy song Willy sings. The Neurons immediately began a little rendition of the song, “Cowboys Are Frequently Fond of Each Other”, in the morning mental music stream (Trademark grazing). Although Willy’s version came out back when Brokeback Mountain was gaining Oscar attention, I picked up a later version done by Willy and Orville Peck. Hope you enjoy it.

Stay positive, be strong, lean forward, and Vote Blue in 2024. Also brace yourself for a busy news week. With more SCOTUS news forthcoming, the end of June sending up a cloud of dust as it sprints at us, and the debates and the weather, I’m sure there will be a lot to talk about, read about, and GRRRRR about.

Coffee has been sucked down. Here we. Cheers

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Agreeing with Trump’s Campaign

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think? A little too ironic.

Rolling Stone rolled out a story about a new film that features Donald Trump. The article begins,

After the film The Apprentice debuted at the Cannes Film Festival on Monday, the Trump Campaign threatened to sue over the controversial depiction of the ex-president during his early days in real estate and his marriage to his first wife, Ivana.

Among scenes of Trump taking amphetamine pills and getting liposuction, Variety reported that the movie included a disturbing scene of the former president throwing Ivana to the floor and having nonconsensual sex with her. The outlet said a female attendee at the premiere referred to it as “rape,” while another agreed and said it was a disturbing sexual assault.

That beginning seized my attention. Reading on is where it became so Alanis Morrisette ironic:

“We will be filing a lawsuit to address the blatantly false assertions from these pretend filmmakers. This garbage is pure fiction which sensationalizes lies that have been long debunked. As with the illegal Biden Trials, this is election interference by Hollywood elites, who know that President Trump will retake the White House and beat their candidate of choice because nothing they have done has worked,” Trump campaign’s communications director Steven Cheung said in a statement to Rolling Stone.

Whoa, whoa, whoa – the Trump campaign is upset about blatantly false assertions? Garbage that’s been thoroughly debunked?

Gosh, we’re with you on that! Would that include assertions which have been thoroughly debunked like that the 2024 election was stolen, an assertion without any facts supporting it whatsoever? That the kind of assertions which have you upset, Mr Trump Campaign?

What about blatantly false assertions that have been thoroughly debunked like the US economy did so much better under DJ Trump?

Let’s thrown in that hilariously debunked assertion that Trump is 6 foot 3 and weighs a svelte 215 pounds?

Are you saying, Mr Trump’s Campaign, that you don’t like it when thoroughly debunked bullshit is substituted for truth?

Then you know how the rest of us feel about you and your campaign at this point. You must surely know how sick and tired we are of hearing about these debunked lies that you keep spouting as truths.

And just as you want these ‘thoroughly debunked assertions’ stopped, so…do…we.

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Just Gossip

I can’t believe the video I just watched. It shocked me. It scared me.

This video shows Donald J. Trump, former President of the United States, inspecting a military. This military was south of the U.S. border with Mexico. They were Mexican troops: Trump’s private army.

He founded and established it. Members of his Mexican military were enticed to join with promises of land and rights in the United States.

His idea, according to the video: “President Donald J. Trump wants to control the southern border with Texas so that his army can be let in once the 2024 elections are over, whether he wins or not. Governor Abbott of Texas is working with President Trump to control the southern border. That’s the driver pushing Gov. Abbott’s fight to take over control of that border from the Federal Government.

“President Trump has gained the trust and co-operation of the Mexican government. First, he paid key officials to be consultants and commanders. Then he promised Mexico that on Day 1 of his administration, he would stop imports of any consumer goods, including automobiles and trucks, from anywhere. The exception would be those goods made in Mexico.

“With accomodations and support from Mexico and Texas, and assistance from Florida, Trump’s army will spread across the United States. Detention centers will be set up for Democrats, and Trump’s army will lock them up and imprison them. Democratic members of Congress will be executed.”

A chyron stayed on the screen’s bottom. It said in capital, italized yellow block font, “PROJECT MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.”

The narrator was General Mily. He also showed a meeting between Trump and over a dozen red state governors who swore their allegiance to him and promised him that they would activate their national guard units to support him. Besides Trump inspecting his troops, the video gave data about the size of his army. It was sickening that these forces have been set up to overthrow the rightful and legal government of the United States and install a military dictator.

I was so sickened by it, I couldn’t watch more. Especially when they started interviewing right wing militia groups who were staging to join Trump from Idaho, the Dakotas, Michigan, Kansas, Wisonsin, and Oklahoma.

As an American, I am shocked and appalled that the GOP has gone so far.

***

Yeah, none of that is true, as far as I know. I made it up. Just exercising my free speech. You know, as Rep. Jim Jordan embraced on Sixty Minutes in a segment with Leslie Stahl.

As Mr. Jordan noted, Americans are smart.

Yes, if they’re out of information bubbles and get all the information.

But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Many Americans live in information bubbles where the full truth is rarely heard or seen. Instead, they’re fed a steady diet of misinformation to support their hardening views. The other side is being painted not just as a political opponent, but a threat to Democracy and freedom. A threat which must be put down by violence.

Mr. Jordan is upset because he believes the social media companies are removing more conservative, Republican, and right-wing info after it’s deemed misinformation. So he’s trying to stop them from removing anything. The media companies are backing off as a result.

So I suspect that someone ‘on the left’ is going to begin retaliating on the scale of misinformation that the right wing is putting out. Then they’ll exercise their own free speech and spread misinformation. In the end, it’s just gossip. No harm at all.

Because Americans are smart. They’ll see through pieces like mine for the fictions that they are. Just ask people about the shadow government.

They’ll show you how smart they are.

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Sunday’s Theme Music

Mood: spirited

T’was the day before Christmas and all across the land

few people were thinking that everything was grand

those with money to spend had brought presents to no end

while those lacking food and shelter did what they could do

Yes, today is Sunday, December 24, 2023, the day before Christmas in the US. Light rain intermittently douses us in wintery 43 F temps under a dystopian dim sun stuck behind the clouds. It’s today’s high, already achieved, so we have that going for us in Ashlandia, where the Christmas decorations are average and the Kwanza and Hannukah celebrations are muted.

I found myself with the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s 2006 cover of Stevie Wonder’s “Higher Ground” in the morning mental music stream (Trademark gifted). Those first lyrics that include soldiers keep on warrin’ was in my mind during this holiday month, when so many people talk about peace on Earth and goodwill toward man while doing the opposite so often. Few walk the talk. They’re just depressin’ damn people, especially the faux christians who have emerged.

Let’s just call them faustians, which is really similiar to faustian, isn’t it? Interesting; those faustians (faux christians) focus on themselves, complaining about how overlooked and put upon they are, which, in their words, is terrible because they have the best religion and god. Meanwhile, faustian is an adjective to describe things often done for present gain without any thought about the future, which is exactly what the faustians (faux christians) do; they want to go back to some faux good ol’ days when women knew their place and it was in the house, and there were only two genders and one sexual orientation – male on female – and men were in charge, and all bad things like racism, bigotry, and discrimination were all swept into places where it couldn’t be seen. They didn’t want to hear about women being raped (because they probably deserved it anyway, in their minds, because of how they dressed or acted). Nor did they want to know about people born with a mix of gene sets that creates a spectrum of true and viable genders. God only created two genders, darn it, and science is bad because it teaches otherwise, so don’t trust it.

Factories were in America and all things were made in America, because it was and is and always will be the greatest nation in the world (because, god), and the houses were all the same clean cottages behind fine white picket fences, except for the wealthy but noble and pious people who lived in mansions on the hill, away from the riff raff. To achieve their goals, faustians will lie and pretend their leaders are wonderful people, overlooking or even rationalizing their crimes, and go to war to make peace, because they believe in god, and that makes everything that they do okay. Diversity is not good in the faustian world. Nor is critical thinking.

Anyway, that’s why I’m playing “Higher Ground”.

Stay pos, be strong, and keep leaning forward toward a higher ground. Coffee drinking is underway. Here’s the music. Cheers

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Tuesday’s Theme Music

Mood: black whimsy

Woo hoo – Happy November Eve Day!

Yes, it is too a thing. People dress up in costumes in many places. Children in costumes often scurry from house to house being given candy and pumpkins are curved and lit up to welcome November. November is the eleventh month in our calendar, and eleven is a power number, so, to summon good energy and dismiss dark forces, we celebrate November Eve. November 1st is more seriously and somberly feted on the actual day, as the forces of the universe are frequently nursing cosmic headaches. If you’ve never had one of those, it’s like lightning and thunder.

BTW, November finds its name from the Latin, novem, which means nine. It’s comfortably fitting for the modern era that our eleventh month was originally the ninth month, and we kept that name.

Well, if this is November Eve, then this is October 31, 2023, the last day of the tenth month of this year, and also Tuesday.

Talking with folks the other day — I was more listening than speaking — many were mourning the current state of crap in regard to politics, various wars, inflation and the cost of existing in the US, gun violence and mass murder — you know, just an average day in 2023 — when The Neurons woke up. Sniffing out the general tone of comments and agreements, they injected “Black” into my mental music stream, where it still plays in the morning mental music stream (Trademark dark) today.

“Black” by Pearl Jam (from 1991) is a love song. Starts gently and then rises to a wail of emotional pain as the narrator/vocalist acknowledges that he and the woman he loves can’t find the balance to live together. He’s saying goodbye to her in his mind, wishing her the best and reconciling fate even as he rails against the moment.

So I can see why Der Neurons played “Black”: it’s an assessment of the present and sadness for the future and what will be. Actually, despite its status as a love song, it’s an accurate theme song for many people in the US and beyond who, as our singer does, ends up wailing, “Why,” and “Why can’t it be?”

The particular version is accoustic, from MTV Unplugged. Hope you enjoy it on this November Eve, where it’s 37 F in Ashlandia and the November Eve parade, colloquially called the Halloween Parade, is average. Gonna spark up into the upper sixties before the sunshine cuts its engagement with our town in the valley.

Be strong, don’t worry, be happy, if you can. Now I’m gonna smack my brain with a heavy douse of black coffee. Get it stirring. Here’s the video. Hope you enjoy it and follow my logic for making this song today’s theme music.

Cheers

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Monday’s Wandering Thoughts

Watching an NFL football game on television yesterday, I heard the analyst say about a running play where the team lost yardage, “He ended up with a negative loss.”

That spun my thinking. I’d never heard it before during a football game. Hearing it prompted me to wonder, can a football team have a positive loss? It seemed like a screwy way to express the results.

I can imagine some football fans trying to come up with a way to establish a negative loss. Like, not only did they lose yardage, but the clock kept running, meaning that they’re running out of time. That means, with the score as it is, they’ll probably lose because they’re behind and not much time to play remains.

That sounds like modern NFL football, convoluted and a little contorted, becoming more abstract by the week.

For instance, on a quarterback sneak, it looked like the player was stopped short of the goal line. It was fourth down, so that team turned it over on downs.

But wait, it looked like the quarterback fumbled the ball and another player on his team recovered it, so it’s a touchdown.

No, the referee explained: “Only the person fumbling the ball may advance it. Therefore, the ball will be placed at the point of the fumble, and possession has changed due to loss of downs.”

Got that?

That wasn’t the end. The team who didn’t score — the Eagles, BTW — threw a red flag to challenge the result. That ended with the Eagles having a touchdown awarded them. That’s because, before the QB fumbled, the ball crossed the plane of the goal line before his body was down. Officials in New York figured that out by using multiple sychronized television angles to determine exactly where the ball and the QB’s body parts were during which point of the play.

Yow. Watching resulted in a positive increase of confusion AND exasperation.

Imagine trying to use ‘negative loss’ in other ways. I know that in some emotional situations, people like to express positive loss and negative loss, trying to spin, for example, someone’s death in a positive way. I have done that: “At least they’re not feeling pain.” I think that’s positioning a negative event with a positive outcome.

Drinking my coffee. I suppose I could say, “I’m going to drink more coffee, which will result in a negative loss of coffee in my mug.”

I wouldn’t, though. That’s laborious. I’d just say the obvious, “I’m going to drink more coffee, so there will be less remaining in my mug.” I could even shorten that: “I’m going to drink more coffee, so I’ll have less remaining.”

Or, I could tell my wife that after shopping for groceries, we had a negative loss in our checking account.

I’m sure that would earn me a WTF look from her.

Why, though, would such a declaration be even needed? Isn’t it self-evident that there’s less coffee after I drink some? I think it is, unless it’s a magically self-refilling cup. As for whether it’s positive or negative, that depends on your outlook: is the mug half-empty or half-full? Are you a pessimistic or optimist?

I don’t usually think in terms of glasses and mugs being half-empty or half-full. I usually think, “I have some left,” or, “It’s gone.” Does that mean that I’m just a pragmatist? Or am I merely focused on the situation’s bottom line: I have some or I don’t.

I’m no doubt overthinking the turn of words, but I hope ‘negative loss’ doesn’t catch on. It probably will, the way that saying, “I literally died” is now acceptable to so many. Sure. Now that you ‘literally died’, you’ve returned to life. Are you undead or have you been resurrected?

I suspect some became zombies after they ‘literally died’. That might explain our state of politics. *rim shot* (Yes, that was snark.) The ‘literally died’ lost some brain cells during their experience, negatively decreasing their thinking skills. (See what I did there?)

It’s like hearing, as I so often do, “I was thinking in my head.” Well, where else would you be thinking? In your foot?

That’s like saying, “I was chewing in my mouth.” Okay. I’m glad you’ve mastered that. (Yes, that was more snark.)

Although, after drinking coffee just now, I had a positive gain in my energy and focus. BTW, I drink my coffee black, without cream. (Hello, it’s more snark.)

It’s kinda like saying that football team had a negative loss.

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Thirstday’s Wandering Thought

After he and his wife were married a few years, she passed on the casual judgement that he had a flat butt. He’d never considered his butt before, imagining without thinking about it that he probably had a pretty nice butt, but the comment raised his butt awareness. He began studying other’s butts and soon realized that a large spectrum of butt characteristics exist – flat, round, broad, muscular, chubby, pert, drooping, and so on. So many ways to classify and categorize butts by shape, contour, and type are out there that he eventually developed a large index butt shapes.

He had, somehow, become an asspert, all because of his own flat butt.

2

Today’s Interesting Headline

Seeing this, you ponder the supply chain. And location: China. Do they celebrate Christmas? I don’t believe so, except in Western homes — especially the United States — or places where profits are celebrated.

The time of year of the headline is digested: autumn has just begun. Christmas is three months away. But we know that we’ll soon see Christmas displays emerging at retail sites. Carols and festive music will rock out on radios and public announcement systems before Halloween. We’ll begin hearing about the latest must-have technology, games, and amazing stocking stuffers. Debates will re-emerge about Black Friday and its impact on Thanksgiving and families. The Elf will return to the shelf. And the car deals! Why, there’s never been anything else like it!

It’ll be a FordMercedesBenzBMWChevroletDodgeToyotaKiaVolkswagenJeep Christmas to remember, I’ll bet.

2

Happy Pretend Everything Really Is Okay Day

Hadn’t been reaching much news today (cause it felt icky on my tongue and was searing my senses) so I didn’t know until just now that today is Pretend-Everything-Really-Is-Okay Day.

Wow. As I age, I discover that I frequently don’t know WTF is going on (and even more frequently don’t care), so I’m not so surprised that you could knock me out with a feather for not knowing today is PERIOD. I don’t have happy memories of PERIOD (see, I just found out about it), even though it’s been around for several thousands years, pre-dating just about every holiday that exists.

I read that celebrating PERIOD means doing things that you would normally do, even if something is going on that might disturb you. You’re supposed to watch television, read, surf the net, clean house, shower, shit, shave, and eat, etc., as though everything is like baked Alaska.

What’d you know? That’s exactly how I celebrated PERIOD.

So Happy PERIOD to you, full stop. Hope you had a damn fine holiday.

2

Florida

They always warned you,

the day will come,

that the way you govern

by giving others crumbs

would someday bite you in the ass.

You dismissed that with a laugh.

 

But now that day has come to pass

that the government you wanted and thought was right

isn’t up to this situation, is too fragile, too light.

So I wonder what lessons you might’ve learned

as people sicken, fall ill, and die,

and the economy burns.

 

 

 

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