Tag: satire

Satyrdaz Wandering Political Thoughts

The headline misled me.

Biggest-Ever Black Hole With Mass Of 36 Billion Suns Discovered: ‘Cosmic Behemoth’

Naturally, I thought this was a political piece. I thought surely that they were referring to the Greedy Old Trump Party, commonly shortened to GOTP, or the Trump Regime as the biggest-black hole ever.

The GOTP used to be known as the GOP, or the ‘Grand Old Party’. But under Trump’s squeamish, heavy-handed leadership, the spineless GOP has become a seething unprincipled black hole of greed and avarice. A place where they decry pedophiles while protecting pedophiles, where they scream that they’re pro-life as they turn their heads from children dying. Truth and facts go in and get bent out of shape into lies and falsehoods. History morphs into a lopsided retelling of all the great things which white men did. The black hole’s idealogical forces twists intelligent discourse into childish mouthings.

The GOTP black hole is a time portal, trying to push the world back to a pretend time, which they fantasize was better for all because white men were in charge, and all knew and understood. They liked that time because industry and commerce were not hamstrung by regulations to keep employees, or air, water, and the earth safe. Only two sexes were recognized, and only one was respected. The weaker, fairer sex, aka ‘the female’, known to be emotionally charged and weak of mind, was conditioned to accept their place in the bedroom and in the kitchen, staying home to raise more slave labor. Other sexual choices were kept in the closet, done in darkness, never to be spoken of in daylight. Abuse of others was allowed as long as the perpetrator was wealthy, white, and male, or dutifully mouthed the appropriate platitudes and respected the power structure. Religion was settled as a Christian thing with malleable morality and loudly stated and often ignored values. Do your sentence at church every Sunday and feed your local house of worship some gold and trinkets and your soul was saved, freeing you for Saturday night debauchery and business day cruelty. “Nothing personal,” are the words they like to use. “It’s just business.” Greed was blessed by God.

Blacks knew not to get too uppity. Browns kept quiet and stayed to their side of town, as did ‘the Asians’. If necessary, a little police violence could be used to keep them in their place and protect the white man’s place. Sure, it might lead to a little tension and soul searching in the aftermath, but it could all be swept away by the whites, because they were writing history. Then all would be good again.

As for the rest, the poor and sick, put them to work in the fields and factories. Slave labor keeps prices down and profit margins up. Children are the best little workers because they’re too young and ignorant to protest or complain. They eat less so they can be paid less. Let them ‘pull themselves up with their own bootstraps’. Hard work is good for the soul.

Make a profit off every piece of human suffering and indignity. That’s what comes out of the Trump Regime black hole. Plate it with gold to make it shiny and increase its value. Only gold has value, you know.

That’s the Trump Regime. I don’t care what science declares. Trump and the GOTP don’t, so why should I? So I reiterate my position: the Trump Regime is the biggest black hole ever known. It’s the biggest black hole in the Universe. Hitler and his NAZIs, and several other dictators, have been close, but Trump is just getting started with his attacks on logic, humanity, science, education, history, and decency. He’ll prove that he’s the greatest, most beautiful black hole ever.

What’s most sickening is that Trump and the MAGAts think that’s the most wonderful title that can be won because their world has become so perverse and irrational. Sure, a few are learning otherwise that it’s not as great as they expected in episodes christianed FAFO, or ‘The Leopard Ate My Face’. But most MAGAts are so far into the black hole that truth, empathy, education, facts, and science can no longer reach them.

Maybe that’ll change someday, after the black hole turns on itself and is finally gone.

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Wenzdaz Wandering Political Thoughts

It’s the age of betrayal, it’s the era of MAGA. Trump demands loyalty but will instantly betray anyone who sullies his self-image of magnificence.

That idea that he demands personal loyalty means nothings to his regime. They’re true to him, and that’s it. So, with little surprise, I read that FEMA probationary employees are being reshuffled to ICE.

I can imagine how that’s going down. FEMA interviewee: “Yes, I want to join FEMA and help my fellow citizens recover when disaster strikes. I want to comfort and reassure them, and help them rebuild.”

“Okay, we’re sending you to ICE.”

“ICE?”

“Yes. Here’s your mask and gun. Go round up brown people.”

“Brown people? That’s not legal.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just arrest them and let Trump sort them out.”

Apparently, *ahem* this personnel action is being taken because the Trump Regime is struggling to fill its ICE ranks. Rounding up citizens is labor intensive, especially on the scale that Trump envisions. Word around the coffee shops is that ICE is also paying hiring bonuses.

It occurs to me that this might be a good way to resist the Trump Regime. Join ICE, take the money, and then start sabotaging it from within. When intel about a raid comes available, broadcast it to apps to let people know that it’s coming so they can scatter and hide while protestors establish a cover force of protests and harassements.

While I write all this in a blend of seriousness and jest, I find it sad and disturbing that Trump and the GOP have formulated such an atmosphere that such thinking must exist.

Trump has proven to be the greatest at taking things and thoroughly enshittifying them. He is, in essence, the Enshittifier in Chief.

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Wenzdaz Theme Music

Very cool morning and not hurrying to warm up. This is a cloud’s influence, a cloud offering gray dimples and wavy white lines but otherwise lords the sky from east to west and the other way too. We’re offering 67 F with an 87 F high in the works. Although you can’t tell from this weather, it’s summer, August 6, 2025. More like sumfall. It is also Wenzda. Hump day. Mid week.

Trump is still being chased by the Epstein Files. That’s no good for other countries. Tariff Man has donned his towel and tied it around his neck so he can pretend it’s a cape. Now he’s zapping other countries with tariffs. Zap, 50% on India. Kapowie, 39% on Switzerland. Boom, 250% on pharmas. Maybe. Depends on how well it deflects attention from Epstein. Right now, tariffs are sucking oxygen.

Epstein is still out there, though. “Will no one rid me of this plague?” Trump cries out in his thin, reedy voice.

“Sorry, my lord,” he’s already dead,” Bondi replies. “We would if we could, believe me.”

Scowling, Trump sucks on a can of Mexican Coke. A smirking glare wins his expression. “Increase Canada’s tariffs. That’ll teach them.”

In case you forgot, here’s a picture of BFFs, Epstein and Trump.

This is one of my favorite Kinks songs. Admittedly, I have several. I enjoy this one’s opening lyrics. “Hello, you. Hello, me. Hello people we used to be. Isn’t it strange, we never change. We’ve been through it all yet we’re still the same.” I’m not sure what personal reflections I was working on at the time. summI was in the kitchen, doing the standard AM kitchen tasks. The Neurons picked up on my thoughts and into the morning mental music stream came Ray and Dave and the band with “A Rock ‘n’ Roll Fanasy” out of 1978.

A drip of coffee has turned into a sip which became a gulp. Time to jump out there. Hope peace and grace visits you and stays a while. Cheers

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Twosdaz Wandering Political Thoughts

Sean Duffy, acting interim pretend director of NASA, wants to ‘expedite plans’ to put a nuclear reactor on the Moon. This is probably because, as everyone who has ever seen the numbers on space programs, sending people and equipment to the Moon is incredibly cheap right now, thanks to Trump’s tariffs. Also, thanks to Trump’s tariffs and the beautiful revenue flowing in to the Treasury, more money than anyone has ever seen at one time. The deficit will drop by 1500% overnight, so the U.S. will have more money to spend than ever imagined.

They also want to launch a new U.S. space station. With Trump’s love of gold, I’d expect the interior to be lavishly bedecked with gold plated pieces, including a gold plated toilet. He’ll probably want it named for hisself, so the regime will be launching the the Donald J. Trump Space Station. Melania Trump, who is a genius, as everyone knows (she married Trump!), will emerge from her seclusion to design the new space suits. Trump Space Industries will manufacture them (in China, of course). They will have tags which say, “Made in the U.S.A.”

Cost overruns will beset the project. So will schedule problems and delays because other countries which have the needed materials and manufacturing resources dropped the U.S. as a trading partner. Seeing the numbers, TACO will growl, “You’re fired,” replacing the project director with someone more familiar with Trump math, such as a Fox News anchor, or one of his personal lawyers. “Give me a Sharpie,” the Donald will bark, and then he’ll fix the numbers with a Sharpie, as he’s prone to do. (You should see the Sharpie markups of his personal Trump Bible!) He’ll tell us about his uncle, who was a professor at M.I.T., and tell us how his uncle taught him everything anyone knows about space and space travel back in 1980.

Trump will call it the big beautiful space mission, the most beautiful mission ever in the history of the world, the very, very greatest space mission ever. Grossly overloaded with gold, corrupted by Trump math, forced to use substitute products, the gold-plated Trump Rocket won’t clear the gantry and collapse on the launch pad. Comedians and social media will overflow with a comic Trump failure to launch meme.

“It’s Biden’s fault,” Trump will shriek, and order everyone to start talking about something other than the rocket launch failure. A text will fly across Trump social media. “The lying scum democrat Deep State led by lying Newsom and KAMALA HARRIS and Barack HUSSEIN Obama did this to me because they don’t want to Make America Great Again. THIS WILL NOT STOP US. WE WILL BUILD THE BEST ROCKETS AMERICA HAS EVER SEEN AND THEY CAN’T STOP US. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”

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Satyrdaz Theme Music

More bunder thusters prowled Ashlandia’s late afternoon and early evening. Less sprinkles than you’d find on a doughnut fell, too. But Satyrda, August 2, 2025, has awakened in our area as sun-filled blue skies. A 67 F temperature now is expected to climb into the top 80s. A check of the fire watch and fire warning systems shows no new lightning-started fires in southern Oregon and northern California, knock wood, once again.

We’re flabbergasted in our household about economics surprised by the ‘weaker-than-expected’ jobs numbers and manufacturing decline. “Gasp,” economists said. “Unemployment has gone up again. Less people are employed. Who would have believed that would happen after Trump terminated all those Federal jobs? Just because tourism is down because less people are traveling to the United States due to ICE shouldn’t affect jobs, should it? And I don’t think the shuttering of automobile factories, even temporarily due to material shortages and tariffs, would affect job numbers. I wonder what’s going on?” Those economics should consider relocating their offices from under those rocks.

This was another household laugher of a headline: RFK Jr. says cancer screenings are too ‘woke’ now. WTF does that word mess even mean? The Trump Regime continues toward new lows in coherency.

A second laugher came in the FAFO variety: Trump voter livid after being profiled by ICE: ‘I’m an American who now has to be afraid’. It was again a brown voter who thought Trump would go after those ‘other’ brown people, the bad ones, and not them.

Finally, more FAFO is being reported in Iowa. ‘Tidal wave on our hands’: Furious voters say Trump’s turning key red state purple. The first paragraph claims, “Angry voters in Iowa could turn the state from solid red to a swing state because they feel betrayed by President Donald Trump on issues from healthcare to agriculture.”

A large part of that is that farmers felt betrayed by Trump urging Coca Cola to make Coke with cane sugar only for sale in the U.S., what is often referred to as ‘Mexican Coke’ because they use cane sugar to make Coke in Mexico. The Iowa farmers grow corn; corn syrup was being used in Coke production. So there goes their market. As usual, Trump shows how naive and short-sighted he is, how disconnected from reality, or he would have known of the connection between corn syrup and American farmers. But he’s too damn painfully lacking of the brain cells needed to comprehend these things. Since he’s installed only ‘yes’ people who kowtow to him, he won’t hear anyone explain the relationship between corn, farmers, Coke, and sugar to him. Or, as likely, he’ll shrug and say with his ’empathy’, “They’ll get over it.”

Jill Dennison started a chain the other day. She played a Foreigner song on her blog. I countered with some other Foreigner song. Ark chimed in with another Foreigner song, “Urgent”. Ark mentioned the sax, and the album, Four or 4. That was a fine damn album and it was added to the rotation for a while at my house after it was released. Now The Neurons have run with that, of course, playing “Urgent” and other Foreigner songs from the album in the morning mental music stream. I’m afraid that means that I must share the song with you to stop The Neurons from playing it in my head. I’m sorry, but those are the rules. I didn’t create them; I just live by them.

May peace and grace find you today. Maybe some fun, too. Here we go. Cheers

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Munda’s Wandering Political Thoughts

Trump wants a Peace Prize. I believe him worthy of winning an Ig Nobel Peace Prize this year.

As a man of peace, he has successfully orchestrated a roundup of violent people in the United States. These people were in the U.S. posing as farmworkers, housewives, day laborers, food plant workers, mothers, fathers, and children. Using the Trump branded ESP called TSP*, his minions swept up violent criminals who are illegally in the United States by using just the power of their nose to sniff out crime before it takes place. Most amazingly, with TSP, Trump’s ICE agents are capable of identifying child criminals just by their skin color. To buttress his need for Peace, Trump had the amazing Peace Confinement Base built in Florida. After befriending alligators, Trump trained the alligators to peacefully guard the Peace Confinement Base. Unfortunatly, evil opponents to Trump’s peace efforts use that fact to malign the place as “Alligator Alcatraz”.

Trump will do anything for peace. Searching for peace between Russia and Ukraine, he humbly employed his amazing skills at changing the past to show that Ukraine was the aggressor in that war and urged their leader to accept those new facts at any cost to win peace.

Trump’s third stake in the running for the Ig Noble Peace Prize is his use of America’s military force to launch a pre-emptive strike on Iran, bravely ignoring his own military intelligence’s insights and assessments of Iran to do so. In doing so, Trump modestly noted, “Might makes right, and we have the rightest military in the world.”

Finally, Trump deserves consideration for repetitive efforts to bring peace to others in the world by bringing them under his Umbrella of Peace**. This includes violently afflicted hellholes such as the barbarous and backwards New York City, the swamp of killing named Canada, the miasma of murder known as Greenland, and the Panama Canal.

Surely Trump’s words and behaviors have earned him the right to stand before the world and accept an Ig Noble Peace Prize.

Trump has won an Ig Nobel before, for his bold influence on medical science in 2020 after the COVID-19 pandemic began. He shared that prize with many others, though, who offered the same sort of impact on life in that trying period. I believe the time has come for D.J. Trump to stand alone and get recognition for his impact on peace.

Unfortunately, he will not win. The Ig Noble Prizes are satirical and made to make people laugh and think. There is at once too much and nothing to laugh about with Trump, and none of it is satirical.

But if he doesn’t win, surely a billionaire friend will create the Trump Peace Prize in his honor and make him the first recipient. Then they’ll need to retire the prize. Nobody else can ever be worthy. Unless they offer enough money.

*TSP: Trump Special Power

**Trump brand gold-plated Umbrella of Peace is available online for $25,000. Autographed editions are available for an additional $5,000. Order yours fast, as supplies are limited to the first 47 people. Made in China. Not subject to tariffs. Not available to Democrats or Liberals. All sales are final.

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Satyrda’s Wandering Political Thoughts

Welcome to another day in the Disunited States of Chaos, a nation formerly known as the United States of America. I mean, come on; suddenly the Roberts Court is making rulings that will break up the uniform understanding and application of the law. The Roberts Court has consistently ruled in favor of Trump, overturning Federal and Circuit Court rulings based on precedence and previous SCOTUS rulings. Like many things in TACO’s MAGALand, history is being pushed out the door in favor of right-wing ideology.

The DSC, as we’re now informally called in many mouths, can’t be anything but disunited and chaotic. Chaos pleases the Bully-in-Chief, PINO TACO. “Tariffs,” he shouts with a pen. “Wait, let’s put ’em on hold. No, we’ll put some of ’em on hold. We’re raise some tariffs on some nations, depending upon what colors are in their flags, but only on days of the week with an n on them, on alternating even days of the month, unless it’s a strawberry moon.”

Whenever something goes wrong for PINO TACO, he engages in swift non-sensical denunciation of shadow states, democrats — sorry, I mean LIBERAL SCUM — or SLEEPY BIDEN. “So much of this is SLEEPY JOE BIDEN’s fault because he didn’t beat me after I won the election in 2020 FAIR and SQUARE as ANYONE on the dark side of the moon will tell you.”

Part of the toxic agenda PINO TACO follows is whitewashing history, erasing contributions by anyone who isn’t as WHITE, HETEROSEXUAL, and RELIGIOUS AS HIM, and we all know that this person wholly follows and EMBRACES the Bible because he’s held it in his hand and it didn’t catch fire. But it was a Trump branded Bible, wasn’t it? Which, given TACO’s low reading abilities and skills and propensity for scamming customer, probably means his TRUMP BIBLE was probably a coloring book and not the supposed word of the White, Rich God which MAGALand embraces.

TACO’s “One, Big, Beautiful Bill” now being debated in the Senate has been ripped apart as a giveaway to the richest of the rich while shredding Medicare. He’s attacking our nation’s education system and the nation’s universities and colleges. Analysis shows the results of his attacks on the established pillars of our nation will be harshest on MAGALand’s heart, rural areas and red states who solidly voted for TACO. Yet, torching his followers is what PINO TACO gleefully presses the Greedy Ol’ Trump Party to do. It’s almost like he hates them for being stupid and enabling him. In parallel, TACO sues news outlets and which publishes information contrary to his latest declarations, often also threatening to pull their license. He reacts most virulently when the news outlet publishes TRUTH backed with FACTS. PINO TACO reacts to TRUTH and FACTS like a vampire encountering garlic.

Topping off his chaos crazed course, PINO TACO has ordered plans to sell off public lands and clawed away the proections that keep our water, air, and land from being freely polluted. He’s threatening to withhold Federal funds from states and cities led by Democrats unless they acquiesce to what PINO TACO says, all while saying he wants to return power to the states. The knob on his bullshit machine goes to eleven gazillion, far above other machines, which only go to ten.

Yet, this stomach-churning stew of denial, slander, threats, misinformation, and chaos is PINO TACO’s plan to make the DSC a stronger, more prosperous, and successful nation. Republican voters put this lunatic into power. If only they’d rememember what the GOP party founder, Abraham Lincoln told them: “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

Ironically, that’s a phrase from the Bible. Mark 3:25. So you would think that everyone embracing the Bible as the mythilogical foundational guiding document for the nation would not embrace a man preaching hatred and disunity.

But then, from what we’ve seen in MAGALand, history, knowledge, and thinking mean very little.

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T&P

Daily writing prompt
How do you practice self-care?
View all responses

For my personal self-care, I turn to America’s political leaders. Yes, just like DC’s elected denizens when disasters strike our nation, whenever something goes wrong with my health, I quickly turn to thoughts and prayers for my solutions. It’s wonderfully effective and doesn’t cost me anything! Although, there are sometimes complications. Like, when I broke some verterbrae in my neck. Despite all my thoughts and prayers, I ended up going to the medical clinic. They apparently didn’t have much faith in my thoughts and prayers, either, because they put me in a ‘halo device’ for the summer.

Other than that, oh, and when I had blocked bladder. Although I furiously prayed that my pecker would do its duty soon and gave it almost every minute of thought, I ended up in an emergency room where they fed me some meds and thrust a catheter in me. That relieved the problem, although I’ve remained on Flomax ever since.

Which was good, because I needed to turn my thoughts and prayers elsewhere. Thoughts and prayers were called for a year later when I broke several bones in my left arm. More thoughts and prayers were required for my ultra high blood pressure and then surviving COVID. Fortunately, medical authorities were there to augment my thoughts and prayers both of those times, along with when I needed surgery last year for a ruptured tendon in my ankle. I’d been tending it with plenty of thoughts and prayers but they surprisingly did very little. It does cause me some wonder about how they’re so successful with thoughts and prayers in Washington, D.C.

Now I think I need to lose some weight. I’m begun issuing a lot of thoughts and prayers that I’ll lose about twenty pounds. If that doesn’t work, I’ll probably see my PCP and go on a diet. Right now I’m going to eat some cheese. I pray that I don’t gain weight from it.

Time will tell.

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Just A Little WTF America

It’s another GOP presentation of WTF, America, with special guest host, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

Let’s go into Trumptalk mode: Inspired by the terrible and VERY VERY BAD Idiot Trump response to protests in California and Governor Abbott’s stunningly STUPID EFFORTS to escalate violence in Texas by deploying the National Guard against Americans exercising their FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS, Gov. DeSantis is encouraging Floridians to hit other Americans with their cars!

Yep, this erstwhile Catholic Republican leader decided to channel his What Would Jesus Do instincts and say, “Jesus would just steer right into people as he flees, because Jesus always preached, keep looking out for yourself and kill others as necessary to protect yourself.”

Ron DeSantis says Floridians have right to hit protesters with cars

I’m sure Jesus would be very happy to see how his values are being deployed in the United States of ‘merica in 2025. For as Jesus said in the Sermon of the Mount, “Don’t ever turn your cheek, be a man and escalate that violence. If they spit, you hit! It’s the law and order way!”

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Frida’s Wandering Political Thoughts

This just in:

Trump calls emptying U.S. ports a ‘good thing’ despite supply-chain panic because ‘that means we lose less money’

“We’re seeing as a result that ports here in the U.S., the traffic has really slowed and now thousands of dockworkers and truck drivers are worried about their jobs,” a reporter said in the press briefing.

“That means we lose less money,” Trump said. “When you say it slowed down, that’s a good thing, not a bad thing.”

I agree with PINO Trump.

I have found that having my bank account, refrigerator, freezer, and pantry all almost empty is a good thing. Without money, I can’t buy replacement stuff for my pantry, refrigerator, and freezer. Things like food, and “eggs”, as PINO Trump likes to write it.

Having less food is so much healthier. Thanks to less food, I’m losing weight. With less food, I have less energy, so I’m sleeping more. That keeps me more sated with doing nothing, so I’m not out there, spending money, contributing to the local economy, accumulating stuff which I’d just need to get rid of. Thanks to having less money, I’m using my car less, buying less gas. With others like me also buying less gas and things, we keep prices down. Since we’re buying less, businesses are able to fire employees. That means those former employees are also buying less, staying home more often, and sleeping more. Win, win, win!

We’re also helping to save the environment. We don’t have the cash or means to go places. That keeps the air, land, and water, free from our cars’ pollutants. Since we don’t have money or energy, we also go on vacation less, further keeping the air clean of pollutants from aircraft. It all makes sense, in an Alice-in-Wonderland way that I’ve never realized before.

What a stable genius PINO Trump is. I so admire his brilliant logic.

This snark was brought to you by coffee. Coffee: it’s what’s for breakfast, and writing.

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