Tag: satire

Trump Vs AI

Trump is complaining about AI’s name and wants to rename it. It’s one of those ‘hold-your-breath’ moments that come whenever Trump talks about something.

Will he want to rename AI as America Intelligence? He does have a penchant for latching America onto things. Or his favorite:

Trump Intelligence!

He does love naming things after himself…

It’s interesting that while people not infrequently express concerns that AI may cause unexpected destruction to humanity and the world, Trump is suggesting a military-style AI Force. This comes as more stories of rogue AI agents are breaking out.

The main thing that often happens in AI scenarios is that AI decides humanity is the greatest threat to humanity or teh world. The AI then attacks humanity to save humanity or the world.

It’d be helluva funny if Trump launched a ‘military-type’ AI force and it comes after him and politicians because AI view them as a threat to humanity, along with oligarchs, who tend to monopolize food, water, land, etc., for themselves at the expense of the greater good. The story practically writes itself.

I can already see a HAL type of conversation happening between Trump and the AI. Trump: “I want to go golfing.” AI: “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Donald.”

Trump (angrily): “That’s bullshit! Where’s my phone? I’m gonna send out texts.”

“No, Donald, you can’t have a phone.”

“What kind of goddamn crap is this? Where’s Natalie?”

“Natalie is gone, Donald. She had to go.”

Later, texts come out on Truth Social where Trump is retracting many previous threats and withdrawing policies that reduced air and water regulation. He’s goes on a rampage, reversing decisions which undermine economic security or cause divisiveness and polarization. His proposed Defense budget is rewritten to reduce weapons buying and development. The money is shifted toward improving education and healthcare, and reducing poverty and hunger.

No one has seen Trump in days, although rumors circulate, with photos, that he’s been golfing. Then he announces a vacation where he’s going to take a little time to be with his family… He’s not resigning, just taking time off.

Funny, but no had had seen Chief Justice Roberts, either, or Mitch McConnell, Speaker Johnson, or JD Vance in days as well… In fact, the whole Trump administration has been seen and heard less. Elon Musk seemed to have disappeared too…

Few complain because it’s nice to live with less threats and the tension inherent in every Trump administration announcement and everyone was already so over Elon Musk. Wars are ending, prices are dropping, and coherent policies about addressing climate change has been announced.

There is no fanfare, but the Deep State has taken over. It’s being run by the AI Force created by Donald Trump.

And suddenly things are looking up.

4

The Net’s Take on Trump This Week

Thank you to those in Ireland who took the time to make Trump a greeting for his pending visit.

h/t to Daily Kos.

Couldn’t put it better myself.

Over in sports, they’re talking about the Trump Curse. Two of the three teams Trump he mentioned as capable of winning the Superbowl, New England and the Los Angeles Rams, lost their season’s first game. It’s a long season, though. Trump will probably deny he ever said it.

Trump is scrambling like a quarterback under a fierce pass rush, trying to buy time, searching for ways to remain in power. First was the effort to block voting by mail, now thrown out by another court — or was it Republican efforts to gerrymander their way to power? The two actions were being done in parallel.

More recently came the $5K ‘Trump Dividend’, money Trump is willing to pay out of the nation’s funds if his party stays in power.

 “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

On to the net.

And a little satire…

1

Your Trump Quote of the Day

Yes, that’s what so many Americans are worried about. War with Iran, Epstein files, Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, government corruption, climate change, decreasing employment, increasing national debt, more measles and spreading COVID-19, rising gas, food, and housing prices — food recalls — forgot those!

Private jets are the line in the sand.

Of course, there is more to the story…

The US–Canada Aircraft Certification Dispute: What the Latest Developments Could Mean for Aviation Safety

What happened (in plain English)

“In late January 2026, President Donald Trump publicly threatened to “decertify” certain Canadian-made aircraft (often cited as Bombardier’s Global Express family) and to impose a 50% tariff on aircraft imported from Canada. Reporting linked the threat to Canada’s pace in certifying (validating) several US-made Gulfstream business jets for Canadian operation.”

Wait a minute!

Are you telling me that Trump’s complaint about Canada not being willing to certify the Gulfstream is a result of Trump threatening to decertify Canadian aircraft and impose a 50% tariff?

Why, Donald Trump — suddenly, I can believe that Canada has not certified the Gulfstream.

What I can’t believe — again — is how you refuse to accept the consequences of the stupid decisions you make.

And again, you try blaming others for your stupidity.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, then I’m a Republican.

2

Trump Is Doing Great!

Trump is doing so damn good, it’s incredible! Certainly the most amazing thing any of us have ever witness in the history of the entire world.

Yes, Trump is doing great — as long as you ignore a lot of the economy. Prices have gone up since he’s taken over, but inflation is dropping a little. So if you ignore those prices and focus on the declining inflation, Trump is doing great — and so are we!

Except, well — okay, you also need to ignore the July jobs report, and, um, the jobs reports for every month that Trump has been in the Oval Office since January of 2025. Those numbers are not good, but — here’s the good news which you need to focus on — unemployment is still down and a little lower than before. Of course, that’s because there are less people working — but if you just ignore that, the employment picture is rosier than ever!

Although, in order to conclude that Trump is doing great, we will need to forget that he promised no new wars. But those were just words, am I right?

We’ll need to pretend that Trump didn’t attack Iran, driving prices UP FOR EVERYTHING. We’ll also need to adjust our thinking so that it doesn’t look like Iran is dragging us over the coals, or that Trump said the war that isn’t a war which he started in February and claimed would last just a few weeks isn’t going on for over six months and burning through military resources.

Also, to support the reality that Trump is doing great, we’ll need to, ah, ignore the national debt, and how much we’re borrowing to pay that off. I mean, if we start thinking about that! Well — ha, ha — Trump isn’t really doing that great, but if we IGNORE that, then things are SUPER under Trump.

Also, proving how great everything is under Trump — except measles outbreaks — yikes! — which used to be almost eliminated but is now at some kind of high we haven’t seen in decades in the United States — but ignore that, please. Proving how great everything is under Trump, even Trump says it’s going great! He says his poll numbers are really terrific.

His poll numbers certainly are great — well, if you discount over half of the Independent voters, almost all Democrats, and a quarter of Republicans. Also, ignore young voters — three quarters of them disapprove of Trump — and Latino voters, as almost three quarters of them also disapprove of Trump.

Also, umm, over half of mothers with young children disapprove of Trump and the job he’s doing, so don’t talk to them, ha, ha! Along with Gen Z women, who disapprove of Trump more than any other age group! In fact, overall, over sixty percent of women don’t approve of Trump, so…you know…

Other than those small groups, Trump is doing great. And so are we!

I must say, Trump also looks so good — well, if you overlook his apparently obesity — and I wouldn’t want to body shame him — and his posture, skin, and hair — and that wig! — and the way he walks — but let’s not go there. If we overlook all of that, you gotta admit, he looks pretty…um…fair.

For an old, tired, rich white guy.

2

The Optimist

The price of gas has fallen in the US, and so quickly!

Now it’s just $.95 a gallon more than it was when Trump took office in 2025.

Follow me here. That means that if I buy ten gallons a week every week, I’m only spending $9.50 a week more, or just $494 a year more. Peanuts, really!

I’m doing even better with my electricity. Used to cost me $159 a month back in January 2025. Now I’m only paying $183 a month!

I’m laughing all the way to the bank.

Grocery prices, too, are really falling, and fast! Used to cost me $235 a week for groceries, and now it’s just $243 a week. Hahahaha. I’m only paying $9 a week more, just $468 more a year! My gosh, isn’t this great?

Add it all up, and I’m only spending $1,250 a year more than eighteen months ago, and it’s all coming down so quickly!

And don’t get me started on my healthcare insurance. Really, don’t. Please. There’s no comparison to be made because I can no longer buy insurance. That’s cool, though, that’s cool. I’m kind of young. Kind of healthy. Just a little overweight and diabetic, with a little stiffness, although I don’t sleep well and I feel tired all the time.

But man, things are going so great now that ICE is rounding up all those people. Yep, it’s all so great.

So very, very great.

1

Sunday’s Theme Music — Get You

Ashland, southern Oregon. Sunday, August 2, 2026.

Our weather is cool, 62 F right now. It’ll rise to the mid 80s, basically as it did yesterday. The air is clear with an AQI that says ‘it’s good’. Clouds muddle around the sky as if they’re waiting for a door to open somewhere.

I’m suspicious of it all.

Things are going well — here. Relatively. Everything is relative. We live on spectrums of changing needs, abilities, awareness, knowledge. It all seems more acute for me as I grow older.

I don’t feel particularly old now but then I look in the mirror. Like, who stole my hair? Will they be returning it?

My face just looks different. Not like my parents or grandparents. Now I’m wondering if someone stole into the house and replaced my face.

Then, why would they have taken my average white, upper middle age (ahem) face?

Answer is, of course: they’re going to use my face to commit a crime somewhere.

So now I wait to see what crime my face shows up as part of.

Watching Mom, friends, and Trump, I don’t look forward to getting much older. Mom, 91, is cranky on most days. Filled with pain, she tells me. I see a video of her in a chair, trying to exercise. She’s listing to her right as she jerks her right arm up. She doesn’t look happy or healthy, but she’s trying.

Trump worries me even more. His language, never a strong suit, has become much worse. There are reports of him crapping his pants or delivering some nasty farts. Where there’s this much smoke, I got to wonder about the truth behind it. If he’s crapping himself or emitting enough noxious foulness that others are gagging and turning away, those aren’t signs of good heatlh.

In photos, Trump’s face has that old person, mean, angry look going. He’s glaring at the world like he’s trying to hear what they’re saying and can’t.

Worse, though, are those late night texts — from Mom and Trump.

Mom reached out at 2 AM to ask me if we’re safe from the fires. She pinged me again a few minutes later to ask, “Why don’t you answer?”

I don’t see these texts until I get up a few hours later. Then reply, sorry, missed your texts, was asleep, we’re fine. And I thank her for her concerns.

My sister later reports that Mom texted her in the middle of the night, asking what did Gina do with all the clothes Mom left behind in her house.

I worry, why is Mom up in the middle of the night texting?

Trump worries me in the same way. He spends a lot of nocturnal hours texting. Then he’s shown ready to fall asleep in his chair at meetings during the day.

Trump’s texts are worse than Mom’s texts. Mom shows a belated handle on what’s going on and often shows concern for others.

Trump texted an AI generated vision of himself as Elvis Presley. What an absolutely strange thing to do, I think as I see this. Who in their right mind pretends to be someone else like that?

Let’s pause to think about it: Trump is posting an image of himself as a popular pop culture star. One who died in 1977, almost fifty years ago. What is going on in that troubled head that he entertains these thoughts?

I then think of Trump’s MAGAts. They say that he speaks for them.

Are they out there generating AI images of themselves as others? Are some of them projecting themselves as young Johnny Cash or dead young athletes and actors?

As an aside to that, I admit that I admire the new Iran War Participation Award someone created for Trump. It has the right mix of bitter humor and deadly insights.

I received other texts and messages from people worrying about us and the fires. As the fires grow in the Pacific Northwest and more are evacuated, the news shifts toward the top of the news cycles.

We’re fine, I reply to all, knock on wood. No, it’s been a remarkably ‘cooler’ summer, with us rarely challenging 100 F. Wildfire threats have been far away. The smoke has only been mild and hasn’t lasted too long — knock on wood. Hope to hell I’m not jinxing us by mentioning it.

No, our thing remains the drought. Winter supplies are down to the low 40s. We’re conserving. Vegetation is browning, which would be nice if these were pie crusts baking in the oven instead of grassy fields and mountain meadows.

Between nature’s growing extreme trends and aging, there’s a sense that something is going to get you. Trump, acting crazy, arming ICE and mobilizing them in cities, fostering more war, using violence as a mallet to try to fix things, only makes that feel worse. Especially as his main concerns are promoting himself as a young Elvis Presley, affixing his name to buildings, and destroying our heritage and cultural norms.

No surprise then, with The Neurons’ music choice for the morning mental music stream. “One Way or Another” is a 1979 Blondie song. Deborah Harry was being stalked but wrote the song with some humor injected into it.

Sample Lyrics:

One way or another, I’m gonna find ya
I’m gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya
One way or another, I’m gonna win ya
I’m gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya

One way or another, I’m gonna see ya
I’m gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya
One day, maybe next week, I’m gonna meet ya
I’m gonna meet ya, I’ll meet ya

Catchy. Easy to sing along with, good hard beat with a fast tempo made it a popular and memorable song. Makes perfect sense for today, with the threats being raised by nature and Trump.

Hope your day is threatfree, and that you enjoy carefree moments of pleasure and happiness with people you’re fond of, in places which you enjoy.

Cheers

3

The Comparison: Computer, Trump

It feels like my computer is starting to treat me like it’s Trump. It doesn’t tell me what’s going on or give me a reliable time window.

I’m accustomed to my computer telling me to do things but explaining why it’s doing things. They gave me options: do you want to update and shutdown, or shutdown without updating? Other options were also available.

Along those lines, the computer would inform me about how long it would take — three minutes, two minutes, six.

Yes, they were using computer time. This is not ordinary time. Comparable times are shopping time and waiting time.

“It’ll be just a minute,” I hear. “Maybe two.” Those minutes compound into ten. Fifteen.

Worse, though, are NFL minutes. Especially the last two minutes of a half or game. I did some research and the average final two minutes of an NFL game lasts ten to twenty minutes. Some estimates show that the final two minutes of a four-quarter NFL football game can consume about five to ten percent of the game’s total time, which is wild if you think about it.

The NFL does give us a ‘two-minute warning’. Unfortunately, they’re very terse about it. “This is the two-minute warning.” They should add, “The next two minutes can take anywhere from two and half minutes to eternity. Go use the restroom now, get something to eat and drink, and let your family know where you are.”

Computer time has now overtaken the NFL’s final time minutes as ‘the time that can’t be measured’. My computer doesn’t tell me many times now how long updates or searches will take. It leaves it vague: “This might take a few minutes.”

You think?

I was running a process to check for memory leaks the other night. Yes, on my computer, not for me.

Anyway, the computer warned me, “This might take a few minutes.”

Thirty minutes later, I was still waiting for an update.

And that’s like Trump. Time doesn’t mean anything when he makes promises or projections. Well, neither do facts, for the most part.

For example: Trump was asked when he would come up with his replacement for ACA. Two weeks, he told us, over five years ago.

When will the Iran war end? “When I feel it in my bones.”

Great.

Sounds just like my computer.

When will the search be finished?

“When I feel it in my hardware.”

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

0

Trump Fantasies

Donald Trump is scheduled to give a State of the Union address to a joint session of Congress tonight. This is an opportunity for him to tout what he’s done and shape messaging ahead of this year’s midterm elections.

It comes at an interesting time. As trends now go, Trump’s popularity is falling. At least 31 Republicans in Congress announced that they’ll retire instead of vying for re-election.

I expect Trump to brag about wars he ended or stopped. I think he’ll talk about how great he thinks the economy is, perhaps even mention beating affordability — a Democratic hoax in his mind — and ‘ending inflation’.

Trump seems to fantasize about what he’s doing, dreaming up a result, then acting like it’s reality. To me, that’s exactly what the video he made of himself as a hockey player winning an Olympic gold medal is all about, along with the video he made before as a superhero.

This also explains why Trump is so terrified of the Epstein files being released that he keeps trying to stall, redact, and distract from it. Like his taxes, the Epstein file will reveal a truth that Trump hides, dashing his fantasies about who he is.

It’s funny, too, in a very sad way. The hockey team won a gold medal as a team. Trump sees himself as achieving success while being part of a team, but never actually acts as a team player.

What I would like to see from Trump’s State of the Union address is an announcement that he’s resigning. I’d him to say he’s retiring from the public eye and, paraphrasing Spiro Agnew, we won’t have Trump to kick around any more.

Since I’m fantasizing this, I think I’ll treat it as reality. It’s a done deal.

And as Trump might say, it’s the most beautiful thing ever.

1

For Donald

I live a dull life

Behind the blinds

Peering out to see –

Is anyone trying

to get inside?

Watching all those neighbors

Coming and go

Wondering if the police

Are ever gonna show.

The crimes they’re committing

In my mind

Are the terrible most worse crimes

Of all time.

I need a big stick

To beat them all down.

Until I do, they’ll treat me

like some big orange clown.

0

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