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Floofspection (floofinition) – A searching and prolonged examination, often wary, conducted by an animal of a person, object, or another animal.
In use: “The web has many videos of humorous floofspections, with classics being when cats and dogs encounter a banana or cucumber and subsequently floof out.”
Kibble Up (floofinition) – Floof slang (flang) for an animal who stops to eat ravenously while in the middle of another activity.
In use: “The puppy and kitten were battling and chasing, but stopped to kibble up when they veered near the food bowls.”
Floofeopathy Therapy (floofinition) – Alternative medical principles practiced by animals based on theories that animals can detect illnesses and diseases and help other creatures fight their medical issues and recover.
In use: “She, being human, wasn’t familiar with floofeopathy therapy, but a few days before she went to the doctor and discovered she had breast cancer, her stripped tabby and her miniature collie came to her, settled on either side of the affected area, and stared deep into her eyes. They did this whenever she rested, a routine that persisted until the cancer appeared to go into remission.”
Floofmanitarian (floofinition) – Person promoting animal welfare and reform.
In use: “Of course Barbie talks to her animals. Animals are people, too, deserving of as great or greater protection than humans, because humans can speak up for themselves whereas animals can’t. That was where it all started, as a one-person operation rescuing and fostering orphans. Now she was a floofmanitarian, running a global organization dedicating resources to educating others about animal rights.”
Confloofporary (floofinition) – Animals sharing a location or existence at the same time, especially in regards to household pets.
In use: “Jade lived for twenty-one years, counting a Samoyed (Max) as her confloofporary, along with three other cats — Rocky, Samwell, and Trace — a hamster, several lizards, and a parrot, along with five humans.”
Floofson (floofinition) – Male offspring of an animal.
In use: “Marty’s floofsons were perfect little replicas of him, black with white whiskers, a white diamond on their chests, and a long narrow tail.”
Floofpetitive (floofinition) – 1. Action or activity persistently completed for an animal, especially a pet.
In use: “His floofpetitive routine began every morning with fresh water — two bowls — followed by the feeding of the three feline princes, and then the daily morning love session (each demanded private personal time to be petted and doted upon), and the litter box cleaning. The routine was done again in the evening.”
2. An activity or motion repeated many times by an animal.
In use: “Whenever Pam sat down, her cat jumped up on her lap and commenced floofpetitive grooming of her face and hair, often employing her paws to hold Pam’s head still.”
Exflooftrate (floofinition) – 1. To remove oneself from an animal with stealth.
In use: “Many people fall asleep and awaken to find a favorite pet asleep with them, looking as sweet as fresh cinnamon rolls, forcing them to exflooftrate themselves so as not to disturb their slumbering fur friend.”
2. To covertly or surreptitiously move an animal, preferably without disturbing them.
In use: “The sick dog was asleep on the floor. She exflooftrated her canine friend to the bed, where a heating pad would help warm his tired, old body.”
Sternflooftation (floofinition) – 1. Act of talking firmly or verbally disciplining an animal, especially a pet.
In use: “Despite Becky’s daily sternflooftation before she left for work, the cat and dog always got in trouble while she was away, creating mayhem in a bathroom, bedroom, or living room.”
2. An especially solemn or serious display by an animal.
In use: “After she pretended to throw the toy for the kittens, the three tabbies sat down in coordinated sternflooftation to stare at her.”
Floofdumb (floofinition) – 1. A person who is ignorant about animals and their needs and behaviors.
In use: “His major requirement for a new relationship (well, honestly, one of many major requirements) was a person who wasn’t floofdumb. Whoever he was with had to love animals as much as him. Yeah, that was a dealbreaker, he decided.”
2. Conduct, action, behavior or sound that leaves people speechless or amazed.
In use: “The cat darted pass and leaped into the air so high that witnesses were left floofdumb.”
Michael Seidel, writer 