Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofspiracy (floofinition) – Coordination among animals in a secret agreement to do an unlawful or forbidden act.
In use: “The cat and dog were guilty of multiple floofspiracies. Added by the bird (on lookout), the cat would pull the door ajar. The dog stuck his nose in and thrust it fully open. Dog and cat then dragged out the bags of the treats and the bird came down to feed them.”
Floof face (floofinition) – 1. Expressions made when speaking with animals.
In use: “Seeing the ginger tabby wander into the dining room, she put on her floof face. Her eyes got big, lighting up from behind their brown irises. Dropping to one knee, she extended a hand and started speaking in a gentle, sweet tone associated with talking to infants.”
2. The acquisition of animal fur on cheeks, chin, forehead, etc.
In use: “His dog, god love him, always joined him in a nap, which both enjoyed, but afterward, he always had a little floof face in a ball of dog hair tangled up in his short beard. He learned on getting up, to look in the mirror and groom such collections off.”
Floomba (floofinition) – Dance between animals and a robot floor sweeper or vacuum cleaner, such as a Roomba. The intricate interface often involves quick, lively moves away from the machine by the animal when the machine comes toward the animal but the animal then follows the machine, trying to sniff it, when it turns away.
In use: “The cats often did the floomba when the machine was activated but the lab took off right away — she wanted nothing to do with it.”
Posse Floofmitatus (floofinition) – Animals’ right and ability to summon others to their aid in preserving peace against criminal acts and to find, detain, and arrest offenders.
In use: “Before human domination arose, posse floofmatatus was used to by many world regions, with most animals as signatories, but human tendencies and cultural differences disrupted the legal framework, leaving species to mostly fend for themselves.”
Floofnacular (floofinition) – Animal’s ordinary speech and language which is specific to regions or species.
In use: “Although Max was bilingual, the dog sometimes confused what the cat, Snuffy, meant, due to differences in the floofnacular, but both continued learning and the differences didn’t prevent them from napping together. Nap was the same in both floofnaculars.”
Kuma Flooftra (floofinition) – Ancient book providing animals with guidance on sleeping positions, sexual positions, and general well-being.
In use: “Grace embraced the Kuma Flooftra after the cat showed it to her, testing new sleeping positions and following tips such as eating grass, but the beagle shied away from the sexual positions. After all, she had been ‘fixed’.”
Infloofdelity (floofinition) – 1. A pet’s unfaithfulness to a single person or household.
In use: “Batman was originally Wade’s Corgi but after he started dating Lesley, the dog showed astonishing infloofdelity, jumping onto her lap and settling down with a smug look in Wade’s direction.”
2. A person’s unfaithfulness to one pet.
In use: “Carrie made space on her lap as she did every evening when she sat to read but instead of Jade leaping onto her lap, Crystal showed up, leaving Jade staring daggers at the shocking infloofdelity.”
Floofsteading (floofinition) – The space and adjacent area claimed by an animal as their private zone.
In use: “The cat was always floofsteading on whatever location he thought people wanted to sit — the desk chair in the office, a dining room chair when dinner was ready, the recliner when everyone moved into the family room to watch TV.”
Floofpremacist (floofinition) – Person or animal who believes animals are inherently superior to other beings and should have control over them as well as greater privileges.
In use: “Being a floofpremacist, the dog refused to accept that mere people could sit on the furniture while he, an animal, was forced to stay on the floor. Thus, whenever given the chance, he asserted his rights and got right up there on the furniture.”
Floofbert’s Rules of Order (floofinition) – Reference guide used by animals to provide the orderly conduct of meeting with one another.
In use: “While Floofbert’s Rules of Order is accepted among many animals, especially housepets, a number of animals refuse to embrace the guidance, arguing that it is against the laws of nature. This is especially so among cats, who believe they are chosen by the gods to rule.”
Michael Seidel, writer 