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Snowfloofcross – (floofinition – Games with animals which involve snow, jumps, and turns.
In use: “She always loved introducing her new pets to the snow and watching their reactions. The cats and kittens — except for his meowjasty, Henry the Eighth, of course, who did all with excited abandonment — all walked with frozen stiffness (sorry), shaking off their feet. But the puppies initiated a snowfloofcross, gamboling around with snowy sloppiness.”
Crotch Floof (floofinition) – Animal who obsesses with human crotches.
In use: “Bill had two crotch floofs; a dog that greeted everyone by thrusting his nose into visitors’ crotches, and a twenty-two pound tuxedo cat who insisted on sleeping on Bill’s crotch whenever he sat or lay down.”
Calcifloofcation (floofinition) – State of stiffness in people caused by lack of movement incurred when they do not want to disturb an animal.
In use: “He could feel calcifloofcation settling into his body, was growing hungry to the point where he was ready to declare he was starving (especially because he knew one piece of pumpkin remained in the kitchen), and his bladder felt on the verge of bursting, but a cat slept on his chest and a dog snored on his legs, and he didn’t want to disturb them, so he endured.”
Floof Code (floofinition) – 1. Set of rules imposed on animals by humans.
In use: “The house’s floof code dictated, no cats on the counter, no dogs on the sofa, and no fighting, but the four amigos often broke the three rules.”
2. Official standards and guidelines established by the United Federation of Floofs regarding how animals will interact and treat one another.
In use: “Although the Floof Code was agreed upon over twenty-five years ago, widespread adoption among all species has been slow, with cantankerous species like crocodiles and alligators stubbornly refusing to accept it.”
Panfloofmonium – (floofinition) – Wild and noisy disorder, confusion, or uproar caused by animals, especially pets.
In use: “The two cats decided on a mad dash, releasing wild meows as they galloped about, attacking air, causing the dog to freak out and start barking in alarm, while the bird mimicked a police siren, and the children laughed at the panfloofmonium.”
Floofiverse (floofinition) – Totality of existence, as far as an animal is concerned.
In use: “The dog’s floofiverse began and ended with his yard and his people, although his floofiverse expanded and contracted as his humans took him for rides and walks, which was great, as long as he was with them.”
2. A cosmological model supporting the Fur Theory, which holds that all matter is created from fur and hair shed by animals.
In use: “Keri was dubious of the Fur Theory and the idea of a Floofiverse — which, according to Floofology, held that the universe and its matter was a subset of the Floofiverse created as something to occupy human’s attention, sort of like a bell inside a plastic ball — but she was beginning to be a believer. It certainly seemed like everything was made of cat and dog hair, she thought, on her knees, cleaning animal fur from her carpet, which she had just done yesterday.”
Dia de los Floofos (floofinition) – A celebration of animals with an emphasis on those who have gone over the rainbow bridge, normally celebrated between October 31 and November 2.
In use: “She was always circumspect about observing dia de los floofos, quietly opening a binder with photographs of her fur friends, like little Jojo, a sweetheart if there ever was one, Bumble, who disappeared one night and was never seen again, and Max, her first fur friend, a big white dog given to her as a pet when she was a little girl.”
Floofomania (floofinition) – Obsessive desire to be with animals, or to immerse oneself in objects and matters related to animals.
In use: “It wasn’t enough that he had four cats. He’d become a floofomania, with cat art on his walls, cat sculpture on his tables, and cat-themed socks, shirts, and ties. Friends and family privately whispered to one another about holding an intervention. When he heard about it, he laughingly called it an ‘interflooftion’. That just disturbed them more.”
Flooftop (floofinition) – Game played among housepets. When they hear a can, box, or bag being opened, they all race to the source. First animal to arrive expects to receive all the goodies or food.
In use: “When she opened a can, the Yorkie leaped up with a yip and bolted into the kitchen like a flash of black light, slowing down only enough to look back and laugh at the cat before trotting into the kitchen to claim another flooftop victory.”
Derfloofative (floofinition) – Animal behavior or actions which is imitative of behavior or actions of another animal or a person.
In Use: “A video of Riptide‘s derfloofative behavior when he attends an exercise class has people on the net watching and laughing.”
Michael Seidel, writer 