Tag: pet humor

Floofsciousness

Floofsciousness (floofinition) – State of awareness regarding an animal’s presence. Origins: first known use in 1605 in northern Europe.

In Use: “Karla had developed a keen floofsciousness from living fifteen years with Sammy. She could feel him enter the bedroom when she settled her head onto the pillow and awaited sleep, anticipating his jump onto the bed and his progress to her side. Now, with him no longer with her, her floofsciousness felt sharper but untethered. She closed her eyes against crying again but tears still put hot paths across her cheeks, and the unstoppable litany, it’s not fair, went through her mind again.”

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Floofstone

Floofstone (floofinition) 1. A significant point in a relationship with an animal, especially a pet. Origins: 2002, United States, Internet.

In Use: “Many people who help young kittens and cats face a fierce, growling, spitting adversary, and obtaining the animal’s trust is frequently a major floofstone.”

In Use: “A woman spent six months gaining barn cats’ trust, and when they finally came into her house, it was a major floofstone.”

2. Floofstones – an animated carton about a group of prehistoric domestic animals.

In Use: “Many people came to enjoy and even love The Floofstones, thanks greatly to the writers’ deft skills lampooning modern culture in the U.S.”

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Monday’s Floof

Monday’s floof has a pretty face.

Tuesday’s floof likes to run and race.

The floof born on Wednesday has an appetite for love,

While a floof coming to life on Thursday is a gift from above.

Friday’s floof is fond of the sun,

And Saturday’s floof exists just for fun.

But Sunday’s floof has a little of all,

Enjoying life and having a ball.

-Ancient Floofverb

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Floofcode

Floofcode (floofinition) – 1. An agreement for behavior and cooperation between floofs or between humans and a floof or floofs.

In Use: “According to the floofcode, if Lucy fell asleep on Bob, Bob would stay motionless and not disturb his fur friend until the floof awoke of their own accord.”

In Use: “Although Sam would swat Kay to warn her, adhering to the floofcode, he never employed his claws.”

2. Method of communicating for humans with animals, or the converse.

In Use: “Rosa and her smart little puppy’s floofcode included her saying, “Beep beep,” meant he needed to move out her path or her chair.”

In Use: “Jade, rumored to be the world’s smartest cat, developed her own floofcode to deal with Brenda. Knocking things off the dresser at two AM meant she wanted out; throwing kitty litter out of her box onto the floor meant she was upset.”

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Infloofition

Infloofition (floofinition) – The ability to know without direct evidence, rational thought, or inference, what an animal will do. Origins: Middle Flooflish, from the Flooftin, first noted use in 1600.

In Use: “Connie’s infloofition caused her to sigh, put down her novel, and head for the door. Rascal had gone out through the pet door six minutes before, and a fight was overdue.”

In Use: “Taylor put their plate down and went to fetch a glass of tea when infloofition made them rush back to their food just as Munchkin arrived to make it hers.”

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Flooflink

Flooflink (floofinition) 1. Connection between animals. Origins: Middle Flooflish, of Scandfloofnavian roots; first noted use in the fifthteenth century.

In Use: “Dog and cat, both Hurricane Katrina survivors, had an unshakeable flooflink from the instant they touched noses.”

2. The established cause and effect between an animal’s action, sound, or behavior and a result.

In Use: “Entering the house to a scene of disheveled plants and unrolled toilet paper, Pietr gazed at the drowsy kittens, certain that he was looking at the flooflink, as his dog studied him with wide, innocent eyes.”

3. An electronic connecting structure about animals which provides direct access from one web page to another.

In Use: “Just googling ‘funny cat videos’ resulted in a plethora of flooflinks to click on and kill time.”

In Use: “Seeing the video title, ‘A Curious Cat’s Life is Never Boring’, Michael just had to provide a flooflink to it in his post.”

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Lethflooflogica

Lethflooflogica (floofinition) – Inability to remember an animal’s correct name. Origins: Attributed to Carl Floong, borrowed from ancient Fleek.

In Use: “Bunchy had acquired so many names — neighbors called him one thing, different family members referred to him by other names like Sparky, Blackie, Onyx, and he’d come to the family with a foster name — that the pet sitter often suffered lethflooflogica and referred first to the other animals’ names before landing on Bunchy.”

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Flooflemma

Flooflemma (floofinition) – A usually unpleasant choice faced by an animal. Origins: First known use in 1523 in Europe.

In Use: “Facing a major flooflemma between being bored in the house or being outside where it was cold, Papi chose to keep going in and out, causing some friction with his hooman room mates.”

In Use: “Forced into the flooflemma of not eating or eating food she didn’t like, Sunshine lived up to the Floof Code and walked away from the food.”

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Floofcake

Floofcake (floofinition) – 1. Term of endearment for a sweet animal. Origins: 1829

In Use: “Rachel often referred to her chubby yorkie as her floofcake, an expression which the dog accepted but did not like.”

2. Wrestling move by many animals to dominate others by throwing their dead weight down on them. Origins: 1932, United States

In Use: “No more than twelve pounds when she was wet, Caramel would put herself on top of Cassie and pin Cassie in bed like Caramel weighed a hundred pounds.”

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Floofsimilar

Floofsimilar (floofinition) An animal that looks or acts amazingly like another. Origins: Medieval Flooftin.

In Use: “Goof and Ball were different species but with almost the exact same black and white markings and chill, friendly personalities, were spooky floofsimilars.”

In Use: “Mark went out looking for his big black white cat. A week later, his cat showed up, and he realized that the first cat was a floofsimilar.”

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