Tag: pet humor

Periflooftetic

Periflooftetic (floofinition) – An animal with a wandering or restless nature. Origins: Flooce, Middle Floof, and Flooftin, 15th century.

In Use: “Quinn was a long-haired and handsome periflooftetic, resting in a window seat one minute, asleep on a chair in the next, and outdoors in the back yard at the next glance.”

In Use: “Sleeping through the day, Braveheart the bulldog was a nocturnal periflooftetic, thumping up and down the stairs, padding along the halls, investigating every sound with a gruff grunt.”

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Obfloofrate

Obfloofrate (floofinition) – An animal who obstinately refuses to stop doing ‘wrong doing’. Origins: 15th century Middle Floofish.

In Use: “People who live with cats often find the little felines to be obfloofrate about where they will sit, even if people tell them that the kitchen counter is not place for a cat.”

In Use: “Loveable and goofy, the black Lab was also an obfloofrate squirrel chaser.”

In Use: “Almost perversely obfloofrate, Jade seemed to delight in knocking things off the dresser at around three AM.”

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Celfloofbrity

Celfloofbrity (floofinition) – A renown or celebrated animal. Origins: 15th century, Middle Floof, Floonch

In Use: “The lithe black and white tuxedo floof arrived at the horse farm and established his celfloofbrity by killing thirteen mice, according to legend. Naturally, with that killing skill and that tuxedo, they named him Bond; Cat Bond.”

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Nihfloofism

Nihfloofism (floofinition) – Viewpoint that existence is senseless and useless without an animal’s companionship. Origins: 1812, Floofman Nihfloofsmus, from the Flooftin.

In Use: “Without recognizing it, nihfloofism creeps into their life as they find a floof friend who becomes their best and most consistent, trusted friend.”

In Use: “Marco soon realized that nihfloofism dominated his mother’s existence, and was slowly overtaking his own life after he rescued a kitten he named Toby.”

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Floofogenarian

Floofogenarian (floofinition) – An older person with an animal or animals. Origins: First known use in 1744.

In Use: “The Railroad District was a serious of very square blocks of houses built in the 1930 filled with floofogenarians who shared their homes with cats and dogs.”

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Floofscan

Floofscan (floofinition) – A quick glance to spot an animal. Origins: 1973, UK.

In Use: “Bob did a quick floofscan to find his fur friend, fast checking her regular haunts before discovering her in the clothes basket atop darks waiting to be washed.”

In Use: “Many wags who live with cats refer to floofscans as catscans.”

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Floofsciousness

Floofsciousness (floofinition) – State of awareness regarding an animal’s presence. Origins: first known use in 1605 in northern Europe.

In Use: “Karla had developed a keen floofsciousness from living fifteen years with Sammy. She could feel him enter the bedroom when she settled her head onto the pillow and awaited sleep, anticipating his jump onto the bed and his progress to her side. Now, with him no longer with her, her floofsciousness felt sharper but untethered. She closed her eyes against crying again but tears still put hot paths across her cheeks, and the unstoppable litany, it’s not fair, went through her mind again.”

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Floofstone

Floofstone (floofinition) 1. A significant point in a relationship with an animal, especially a pet. Origins: 2002, United States, Internet.

In Use: “Many people who help young kittens and cats face a fierce, growling, spitting adversary, and obtaining the animal’s trust is frequently a major floofstone.”

In Use: “A woman spent six months gaining barn cats’ trust, and when they finally came into her house, it was a major floofstone.”

2. Floofstones – an animated carton about a group of prehistoric domestic animals.

In Use: “Many people came to enjoy and even love The Floofstones, thanks greatly to the writers’ deft skills lampooning modern culture in the U.S.”

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Monday’s Floof

Monday’s floof has a pretty face.

Tuesday’s floof likes to run and race.

The floof born on Wednesday has an appetite for love,

While a floof coming to life on Thursday is a gift from above.

Friday’s floof is fond of the sun,

And Saturday’s floof exists just for fun.

But Sunday’s floof has a little of all,

Enjoying life and having a ball.

-Ancient Floofverb

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Floofcode

Floofcode (floofinition) – 1. An agreement for behavior and cooperation between floofs or between humans and a floof or floofs.

In Use: “According to the floofcode, if Lucy fell asleep on Bob, Bob would stay motionless and not disturb his fur friend until the floof awoke of their own accord.”

In Use: “Although Sam would swat Kay to warn her, adhering to the floofcode, he never employed his claws.”

2. Method of communicating for humans with animals, or the converse.

In Use: “Rosa and her smart little puppy’s floofcode included her saying, “Beep beep,” meant he needed to move out her path or her chair.”

In Use: “Jade, rumored to be the world’s smartest cat, developed her own floofcode to deal with Brenda. Knocking things off the dresser at two AM meant she wanted out; throwing kitty litter out of her box onto the floor meant she was upset.”

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