Tag: pet humor

Floof Caddy

Floof Caddy (floofinition) 1. A person designated to tend to animals’ needs and manage the animal’s appointments. Origins: 1853, Scotland.

In Use: “Greatly annoying her, Lisa discovered she was the house dog’s floof caddy, picking up his toys, tidying his bed, cleaning and refilling his food and water dishes, checking his supplies, and while she loved Elmo, she really thought someone else in the house of six should be sharing those duties.”

2. An object or space designed or used to hold food or objects made for animals.

In Use: “After seeing a garden tool caddy on sale, Martha wondered if there was a floof caddy which did a similar thing, and then had a friend make one for her, based on her specs.”

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Floofologica

Floofologica (floofinition) – Inability to rememember a name or term associated with animals. Origins: 1970s United States.

In Use: “One struggle with caring for Sybil’s pets for her while Sybil was on vacation was Chloe’s floofologica. Of the three cats, two dogs, and single bird, the only one whose name she recalled was the bird’s, Amber, because her favorite drinking beverage was amber ale.”

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Flooftotum

Flooftotum (floofinition) – An animal who does multiple kinds of work. Origins: Flooftin, mid-16th century.

In Use: “Chase, a new household addition, quickly revealed herself to be a flooftotum, a true floof-of-all-trades, overseeing baths, dusting, making the bed, sorting laundry, cooking, and eating, in addition to providing security by keeping the yard free of other critters and issuing warnings about interlopers.”

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Sectflooferian

Sectflooferian (floofinition) – Limited to information or activities related to animals. Origins: 1819, Northeastern United States.

In Use: “After another kitten was added to the household, the patio was screened in and became a sectflooferian lounging area for the cats, dogs, and birds, with several feeding stations, beds, sofas, chairs, boxes, and artificial trees set up for the floofs’ exclusive use.”

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Floofx

Floofx (floofinition) – 1. A box claimed by an animal for their use. Origins: 1817, England.

In Use: “After the first cardboard box was used to deliver goods in England in 1817, the recipients noticed that their cat immediately jumped into the empty box and went to sleep, and thereafter called all such boxes, floof boxes, which was later abbreviated to floofxes (plural).”

2. A social media brand accessible to animals which is strictly devoted to sharing animal related news and information.

In Use: “Using Earth’s natural energy and communications channels, animals established Floofx as a social media channel to share information about the world, such as identifying which humans to avoid, and which ones were easy touches for food and help.”

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Floofsy

Where is the fur

Where is the purr

Where is the regarding gaze

Maybe out in the sun

Somewhere having fun

Or resting in some shade

Then he arrives

Taking me by surprise

Leaping onto my lap

To tell his news

Through chirps and mews

It’s my buddy, my fur friend, my cat

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Floofments

Floofments (floofinition) – Garments or articles of clothing used when engaging with animals. Origins: First known use, late 20th century, United States (South Carolina).

In Use: “Whenever something had to be done with Rolex (named for the way he watched) like administering medicine, giving Rollie a bath or clipping nails was pursued, Sue and Andi first donned well-worn floofments — essentially heavily used older clothing no longer worn in public and thick gloves — to protect their bodies.”

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Infloofsion

Infloofsion (floofinition) Animal act of wrongfully entering upon, seizing, or taking possession of something which they’re not supposed to have. Origins: First known use was in fifteen century bakeries, butchers, and fish markets.

In Use: “Like many felines, Domino quickly became infloofmous for his infloofsions, stealing popcorn, sandwiches, pieces of fish, and his favorite, cheese pizza.”

In Use: “Ramona Rex infloofsions after escaping her kennel amounted to a haphazard hoard of dirty socks, shoes, underwear, and shorts, causing Kylie to observe to her husband that it was ‘almost like the dog wanted to dress like a human.'”

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Floofeffect

Floofeffect (floofinition) – Impact of animal activities on psyche, emotions, or mood. Origins: Internet, the United States, 2001.

In Use: “During the COVID-19 pandemic, people began discovering the positive floofeffects which fur people can deliver, and adoptions shot up.”I

In Use: “Hearing his cat’s happy chirp when Alex dished out wet food always lifted Alex’s mood, no matter how crappy the rest of us day was.”

In Use: “Running with her dog and playing with her in the park gave Barb a floofeffective of energy like a B-12 shot in the arm.”

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Subfloofmate

Subfloofmate (floofinition) A change of animal behavior to deal with an unacceptable situation or decision. Origins: 1559, Middle Floofish from Floofieval Flooftin, subflooftamus.

In Use: “Ollie wanted treats, to which Ali said, “No, you’ve already had our treats and can’t have more because you’re getting fat,” which caused Ollie to subfloofmate his frustrations by going into the bedroom and knocking everything off the dresser.”

In Use: “Part of the success of suavexavier’s posts about his dobies is how they subfloofmate to deal with the situations he presents them, especially when it’s Bear.”

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