Floofcretion

Floofcretion (floofinition) 1. A product of animal discharges, body ejections, shedding, etc.. Origins: 1846, from A Home Guide for Life with Animals.

In Use: “Michael loved his cats but admitted that their floofcretion — hairballs, shedded fur and whiskers, and litter box donations — sometimes wore him out.”

2. The quality of an animal’s ability to be cautious or reserved. Origins: Middle flooflish from the 14th century.

In Use: “The two puppies were completely different, with Normal being the soul of floofcretion, never barking or whining, always happy and gently playful, while his sister, Abby, terrorized feet, shoes, socks, and furniture, raging with loud barks and growls whenever anyone exercised the temerity to approach the house.”

3. Ability to right to judge, rule, or govern an animal’s sounds, activities, or behavior. Origins: 17th century, noted first written use found in A Book of Rulings for the Governance of Animals in Homes.

In Use: “Many humans think that if they let animals like cats and dogs into their homes, floofcretion is theirs by fiat, but the animals often turn the tables on humans when it comes to matters like what the animal can eat, where they can sleep, what they can attack, when they can race around the house…and other irritating but endearing flooftivities.”

Apflooftude

Apflooftude (floofinition) – A natural ability to understand animals. Origins: First noted in the 17th century in an instruction pamphlet titled A Treatise on Travel with Animals, published in France, author unknown.

In Use: “Just when people begin priding themselves on their apfllooftude, the furry floofy floofballs demonstrate bewildering behavior that defies people’s grasp about what’s going on.”

Ineflooftable

Ineflooftable (floofinition) – An animal who cannot be avoided, resisted, or changed. Origins: Circa 1623, first noted in print, 1801, The Ineflooftable: How Animals Change Lives & Free Humans.

In Use: “Many talk about the ‘cat distribution system’, wherein an ineflooftable feline shows up and decides, ‘you’re my human’ and makes themselves at home.”

Sundaz Wandering Thoughts

A man and his companion sat down with their dogs on the coffee house porch. Both people had pastries which they sat down on the table. The dog immediately went for that.

“No, Curry,” the man said, lightly touching the dog. “Come on. Make good decisions.”

I laughed to myself. I bet the dog thought that going for the food was a good decision.

Floofswoggle

Floofswoggle (floofinition) To trick or deceive an animal. Origins: Southern United States, 17 century. First noted in print in A Human Guide to Fascinating Floofs & Their Flummoxing Fancies.

In Use: “One recent net trend shows people floofswoggling dogs with the ball trick.”

In Use: “People cutting cakes made to look like a cat in front of a cat is an example of how people entertain themselves by floofswoggling their housefloofs.”

Flooftronage

Flooftronage (floofinition) – The support or influence of an animal honored, chosen, or named as a special protector, supporter, or guardian. Origins: 1707, from The Book of Floofs & Other Mysteries.

In Use: “Bogart’s flooftronage was apparent the first day Megan was brought home, approving her with a thorough sniffing, warming the infant with his furry body, attentive to every cry and motion she made, ready to defend her against the world and oversee her upbreaking.”

Rattlefloof

Rattlefloof (floofinition) – An animal who behaves in a flighty or silly manner. Origins: 1707, from The Book of Floofs & Other Mysteries.

In Use: “Just as the house settled for a quiet post-dinner reading and talking, the rattlefloof known as Digit galloped into the room, leaping over tables and chairs and non-stop talking before sprinting away with the sound of claws scrambling for traction on the hardwood floor.”

Floof-to-Table

Floof-to-Table (floofinition) – Philosophy among pets that whenever food is taken to the table, they go to the table. Origins: Internet, 2025

In Use: “Following Mama Girl’s lead, the kittens quickly assimilated the rewards of the floof-to-table movement.”

Floof Bod

Floof Bod (floofinition) – Physical appearance of an average person who lives with pets. Origins: Internet, 2025.

In Use: “Megan thought her floof bod was probably due to not exercising enough, and planned her cats and dogs because every time she sat down, floofs would pile on her to nap, and she just didn’t want to disturb her sweet little friends.”

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