Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Gackpage (floofinition) – A period of serial puking or regurgitating, particularly by a housepet in the early morning, usually while humans are still in bed.
In use: “They heard the gackpage happening and could discern from the sounds which animal it probably was, forcing them to walk carefully and watch the floor when they finally climbed out of bed. It was hard to do without coffee.”
Befloofed (floofinition) – The animal to whom one is completely and solely committed in a monofloof relationship.
In use: “She would’ve enjoyed having another rescue cat in her home, even two more, but Flash made it clear that they were befloofed and wasn’t interested in an open relationship with any other animals, or people.”
Floofargy (floofinition) Animal state of indifference.
In use: “The cats heard the noises in the other room, but it was early afternoon, it didn’t seem threatening (and it was in the other room, and it didn’t sound like food might be involved), and they were comfortably napping, so…floofargy winning, the cats stretched their toes, shifted their heads, and resumed their slumber.”
Floofpede (floofinition) – A sudden rush of animals.
In use: “The doorbell rang, and the floofpede for the safety of other rooms was on.”
Jigfloof (floofinition) – 1. Animal who helps complete a jigsaw puzzle.
In use: “Once the pieces were put on a table, a jigfloof arrived to join the effort.”
2. An animal whose place in one’s life provides a sense of being whole.
In use: “She hadn’t been prepared for a dog, let alone a big dog, but her friend’s final words put the burden on her. He turned into a jigfloof, providing a piece to her life that she didn’t know was missing.”
Photo: Tucker, the house jigfloof, helping us put together a puzzle that came as a holiday gift. (He refused to to look up at the camera. It’s a principle thing. The first principle is that he’s a cat and doesn’t do anything asked of him. The second thing is that he can’t stand floofarazzi.)
Golden Floof (floofinition) – 1. An animal colored or shining like gold.
In use: “Sunshine bounced off the five retrievers, making them seem like golden statues sitting on the lawn in the still morning air.”
2. Annual award presented to animals representing the best in multiple categories.
In use: “Dieter was pleased and proud when his tiny terrier took home Golden Floof Awards for loudest bark in a small dog and most dramatic bark, validating his belief that Rodger’s bark (he was named after the quarterback) was different.”
3. (slang) Expression to refer to an animal that seems to do things right.
In use: “He was lucky with Penny, his copper and black calico. Unintrusive, confident, friendly, and loving, she seemed like a golden floof.
Floofliminal (floofinition) – Something done by an animal to provoke a response.
In use: “Nosing against the woman’s hand, the dog tapped the others’ arm until the floofliminal behavior worked, and the woman began scratching the dog’s ears.”
Bedfloof (floofinition) – 1. An animal who preferred to sleep on a bed, especially a human’s bed.
In use: “The cat was undeniably a bedfloof, getting up to eat, do her toilet business, and drink some water, but returning to bed to groom and then slumber. She looked so sweet, curled up in the middle of the bed, and she was always in the middle.”
2. Shed fur found on a bed after an animal leaves the bed. Related: flooffloof.
In use: “Where the little dog had been curled up asleep was a bedfloof clump that resembled a small clone of the dog.”
Sycofloof (floofinition) – An animal who acts with self-serving obsequiousness.
In use: “While the other pets scuttled off and hid, the sycofloof met everyone who came to the door, charming her with her eyes, enchanting them with her fur, and rolling over for belly rubs without hesitation, hoping for pets and treats.”
Floof-poof (floofinition) Animal who seems to disappear without warning, effort, or sound.
In use: “Many housepets have refined their own version of the floof-poof, causing frantic owners to wonder where they are, only to have the pet emerge with a quizzically innocent gaze that asks, “Is something wrong? Were you looking for me?””
Michael Seidel, writer 