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Flooference (floofinition) – An event at which talks on a particular subject are held, or business matters and policy are formally discussed.
In use: “Household pets often hold secret flooferences during which they discuss their roles, including which greater flooferences, such as Floofcon (held in Floof Vegas) or Floof Trek.”
Photo credit to Shadow Cats via Facebook.
Flooftigue (floofinition) – Extreme tiredness resulting from mental or physical exertion or illness associated with an animal.
In use: “She loved her collies and cats dearly but sometimes the flooftigue experienced from their constant demands and care (especially the young, rebellious Cortney, now nickname the S.S. Rambunctious, as in “Uh, oh, the S.S. Rambunctious is under steam again, look out,”) occasionally made her wonder life without her pets would be like. Then one of them would give her a kiss and a smile, and all would be forgiven.”
Toilet Floof (floofinition) – 1. An animal obsessed with toilets, or commodes.
In use: “Ranger was a classic toilet floof. She didn’t care about people using the toilet (that interested her not at all), but the excitement the German Shepherd had when it flushed…oh, man.”
In use: : “Calliope decided that the toilet seat in the master suite was the perfect place to curl up for naps, and that’s where the little toilet floof was always to be found (well, when she wasn’t eating), making her people wonder what had happened in the rescue’s life before she came to them.”
2. An animal who likes to drink out of the toilet.
In use: “It horrified Jill to no end, but her cat was a toilet floof addicted to drinking toilet water. Water bowls filled with fresh water were everywhere, but the cat always headed for the toilet bowl.”
Confloofit (floofinition) 1. An event faked by animal as a diversion.
In use: “Growling and barking at a dog, the Schnauzer waited until everyone gathered to see what was going on, using the confloofit to run into the other room, grab a grilled hot dog off a plate, and haul ass.”
2. A path between animals.
In use: “Getting out of bed was difficult as a confloofit was made by sleeping animals who weren’t ready to awakened forced him to contort his body into uncomfortable positions to extricate himself from the bedding, get into the bathroom, and pee.”
Cell Floof (floofinition) – An animal who guards, likes, steals, or uses cell phones.
In use: “Seeing the unsecured cell phone on the bench in the foyer, Tucker assumed his cell floof fur and curled up on it, allowing only a little to show, so his people could appreciate what he was doing.”
The Everly Floofs (floofinition) – An American musical floof duo who were active from 1956 to 1973, recording a succession of pop and country musical hits.
In use: “The Everly Floofs’ first hit came in 1957 with “Bye Bye Sleep”, which spoke to many house pets about their need to awaken their human hosts.”
Floofdictable (floofinition) – Behaving in a way that’s expected for an animal.
In use: “It was floofdictable for the cats and dogs to saunter into the kitchen when Suzanne opened cupboards to find snacks, but her husband also came.
“He was becoming as floofdictable as their pets.”
Perifloof (floofinition) – 1. An animal that’s always hanging around on the edge of activity.
In use: “The dog always wanted to know what was going on, but never got involved, remaining a perifloof.”
2. Behavior displayed by an animal raising up on its back legs to look over something.
In use: “He was busy typing away when a feline perifloof suddenly showed its eyes and ears over the top of his monitor.”
Floofpire (floofinition) – Animal who seems to suck the energy out of others.
In use: “The lab puppy was so energetic, racing around without pause, gobbling down food (and often stealing it), exhausting them all (including the cat and other dogs), they sought remedies for the floofpire, which amounted to a regimen of training, walking, and playing.”
Floof Ranger (floofinition) 1. An animal that enjoys prowling, or is consistently on the prowl.
In use: “Bert and Ernie looked identical, but Beagles from different mothers, were waaay different in personality; Bert was a floof ranger, on the hunt for dropped food, while Ernie preferred to let Bert do the work and then race over to join in.”
2. Floof Bay hard rock band formed in 1979 and popular throughout the eighties.
In use: “Among Floof Ranger’s hits was “(You Can Still) Claw in America”, an amusing song about cats written and performed by the all-canine band.”
Michael Seidel, writer 