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Gesfloofulate (floofinition) – An animal’s use of dramatic gestures instead of making sounds to make a point.
In use: “Dogs and cats often gesfloofulate with their tails, with one wagging it to display happiness and the other one holding it high and straight when happy.”
Floof-in (floofinition) – 1. Form of direct action employed by animals to keep people from doing things.
In use: “Max’s usual floof-in was to grab Mandy by the leg and howl and whimper when she started walking toward the door to leave, a tactic which often won a little more time for him while lathering the guilt over her.”
2. To relax by not doing anything but staying motionless with one or more pets.
In use: “During the pandemic, Dee started doing a floof-in more and more frequently, settling on the sofa with a couple books, a pot of tea, some cookies, and her dog and cat on either side.”
Lifloofny (floofinition) – An animal’s lengthy recitation or enumeration of slights, usually conducted in the tongue of its species.
In use: “The dog sat down and began a guttural, barking, and woofing lifloofny of why he’s upset as the woman kneeled before him, nodding and listening.”
Eflooftilogical (floofinition) – Relating to the study of the limits, origins, and nature of animal knowledge.
In use: “May people owned by pets unintentionally embrace eflooftilogical thinking about why their animals do things as they do, such as why their floof friend is attracted to the house guest who professes not to like animals.”
Floofmaste (floofinition) – Traditional greeting of respect among animals, often accompanied by sniffing butts or touching noses.
In use: “Young animals are often taken aback by older animals offering floofmaste for the first time, but generally quickly grasp the concept as its origins and meanings are explained. Many then try it on humans, who are often amused or delighted.”
Floofrageous (floofinition) – Animal behavior which is not conventional or matter-of-fact.
In use: “Defining floofrageous behavior for people owned by cats is difficult as cats often stretch the boundaries of what’s acceptable, respectable, or normal.”
Floofnamics (floofinition) – A pattern or process of change, growth, or activity by animals or centered around animals.
In use: “Adding a new pet, no matter what their age, breed, or species, will often incur new floofnamics, forcing animals and people both into re-assessing what’s going on.”
Flooftoring (floofinition) – Act of teaching employed by animals to help humans learn what needs to be done.
In use: “Many animals discover that humans inexperienced in pet ownership require flooftoring to teach the humans to respond to their commands. The animals are often disappointed in the humans’ limited abilities to learn and grow, but the animals keep trying, usually through repetition of lessons.”
Universal Floof Language (floofinition) Method of using non-verbal communication to convey messages, often employed by animals to deal with less evolved species, such as humans.
In use: “After trying in vain to reach the human via floofspeak and then floofepathy, the stray cat finally employed Universal Floof Language, putting his tail up, opening his big eyes, purring while saying, “Meow,” which finally gained him some food, although not the specific menu request he had in mind.”
Floofwreck (floofinition) – Mess created by an animal, especially a pet.
In use: “With bits of toilet paper strewn in multiple places, curtains torn down, and a garbage can tipped over, the house was a floofwreck wrought by one innocent, now drowsy, puppy.”
Michael Seidel, writer 