Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofgate (floofinition) – A scandal involving animals.
In use: “The latest floofgate — given the more specific name of messgate — was the overturned kitchen trash can and broken, upended Christmas cactus. The cat and dog, knowing something wrong had been done but aware she didn’t know the floofpetrator — or had they been in floofhoots? — stayed motionless on either end of the sofa, watching her with large eyes, waiting.”
Floofsurrus (floofinition) – A soft rustling sound sometimes heard when an animal passes.
In use: “Floofsurrus to the right, by the bed’s footboard, informed him that one of the cats was in motion. Subsequent bouncy pawfalls and kibble crunching told on Papi visiting the food bowl.”
EFP (Extra Floofsory Perception) (Floofinition) – 1. An animal’s sudden awareness that another animal is about.
In use: “Sue saw and heard nothing but Cinder’s EFP kicked in, and the cat rose, heading to the window. Sitting down, staring, she waited. A minute, two maybe, and another cat strolled into sight.”
2. Animal’s inexplicable ability to know and understand matters.
In use: “Bethanne knew that she couldn’t spell vet around Lumber, leave off speaking the word aloud. She’d even quit mentioning it in emails and text. Yet, Lumber’s extra floofsory perception knew that Wednesday afternoon that she wasn’t taking him to the park; Lumber knew she had a vet visit planned, and immediately hid his leash, then did his best to hide his seventy-five pounds of fur in the closet.”
Floof Pas (floofinition) – An animal’s significant or embarrassing blunder or mistake.
In use: “Cats often cover a floof pas like a poorly executed jump by sitting down and coolly washing, as if saying, ‘I meant to do that.'”
Hypflooftize (floofinition) – An animal’s ability to dazzle dazzle or overcome others, especially humans, by or as if by suggestion.
In use: “She had a day all planned — exercise! Housework! A bath, wash her hair, and then bake. But the minute she sat down, her cat said, meow, and with that, she was hypflooftized, her plans floofjacked once again.”
Exflooftable (floofinition) – 1. Animal who is capable of being activated by and reacting to stimuli.
In use: “Many kittens, puppies, and other young are exflooftable, but grow out of it as they mature, so the exceptions are often considered adorable adults.”
2. People who are readily roused into action over concerns about animals.
In use: “The net is causing more people to be exflooftable as they witness heroic rescues of drowning or dying animals and decide, they, too, can be a difference.”
Detective Floof Inspector (floofinition) – Animal responsible for nosing around to gather information. Such animals are often tasked by other animals to uncover details regarding a specific event or individual and report back to the larger group.
In use: “Detective Floof Inspector Tucker, long-haired, black and white — a tuxedo, in human’s color-obsessed terminology — had long been the house detective, determining what was under the house (a skunk), going out to see what was happening when Zoom exercise classes began in the dining room, investigating the humans’ laptops while they slept to learn what they’d been ordering (learning to key in the password had been incredibly difficult, and he resorted to extending claws to do so on those little keys), and going to the door to see who was arriving whenever someone knocked.”
Affloofcianado (floofinition) – A person who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about animals.
In use: “Raised on a farm where she kept a pet cat, dog, goat, pig, fish, and birds, and helped with the cows and sheep and fed the chickens, Becky was an affloofcianado by age five.”
2. Floofazine written and edited by animals, dedicated to all things animals.
In use: “Affloofcianado floofazine printed its first edition on Animal Day in 1901 in New Floof City, and included an article, ‘Understanding People’, with tips on how to look endearing to humans, as people were more likely to help an animal if they were attracted to them.”
Floof O’clock (Floofinition) – Time set by animals to do something.
In use: “Every morning, Papi set his internal sundial to floof o’clock, which was hours before the sun dared to squint out, rising to yowl for food, to be let out (and then back in) (and then back out), searching for the answer to the new mystery every day, ‘where is the sun?'”
Michael Seidel, writer 