Tag: napping

Wednesday’s Floof Music

Papi here. Michael is my can opener. I’m helping him out. He’s running late, partly because he slept in because I woke him up six times during the night to go out and come back in or garner his attention because I was bored and had nothing to do. He was cool about it other than daring to lecture me about interrupting his sleep. These humans have such nerve, lecturing a cat about sleep. Cats know how to sleep. Humans can learn from us.

It’s Wednesday, I heard him say. As if I care. I know humans’ days of the week. They are so funny about days and dates. Take it from me, it’s not what you call a day that makes it smell and feel different. I’ve told him so before, but humans are slow learners, almost as slow as fish.

The sun came up after my first breakfast. Weather outside was cold enough before the sun came that I fluffed up my fur to keep warm. No one was out at that hour, which is why I wanted back in. I tried opening the door myself, but they locked it, and they won’t let me have a key. I tried getting the other cat to unlock the door, but he’s as slow as a human. Fortunately, it became sunnier and warmer. I like the sun.

I understand that I’m required to select a song as today’s theme music. There are many wonderful songs which I know would be great for that. I learned “Moonlight Singing” and “Attack, Attack” when I was just a kitten, of course. Youthful favorites include “Knock It Off”, “Catch It, Kill It, Eat It”, and “Damn Red Dot”. Now that I’m older, I’m more drawn to purr music like, “Find Some Sunshine”, “Let’s Cuddle Together”, and “Don’t Touch Me, I’m Sleeping”. Of course, the Floofies had a big hit with “The Sound of Kibble”. I always like it. I can’t go wrong with Stray Floofs and their huge hit, “Hungry Again, Feed Me”, either. Oh, and “Meow Now” by Kittahn would be an excellent song for today.

The can opener is reading over my shoulder. He told me that since I’m typing for him, I need to have human music. Like that stuff they listen to is music. Dog songs sound better than that human crap.

He said that his neurons (whatever they are) suggested “Honky Cat” by Elton John, even though he’s done it before. He’s drinking that hot, smelly, black water that he likes to sip. I’ve smelled it and can tell you that it’s not worth it, but that’s me. He said that he used “Honky Cat” three years ago but that it would be okay. I don’t care. I’m ready for a nap.

Here’s that music. Meow.

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Floofnacular

Floofnacular (floofinition) – Animal’s ordinary speech and language which is specific to regions or species.

In use: “Although Max was bilingual, the dog sometimes confused what the cat, Snuffy, meant, due to differences in the floofnacular, but both continued learning and the differences didn’t prevent them from napping together. Nap was the same in both floofnaculars.”

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Floofpose

Floofpose (floofinition) – 1. When a housepet seems to strike a pose while in the middle of doing something else. 2. The way housepets lay while sleeping.

In use: “The tortie was washing her face, and the lab was crossing the living room when both floofposed in the middle of their respective acts, bewildering their human. “What is it?” she said. “What do you see?” As if shrugging, the cat resumed watching and the dog continued to the pet door.”

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Floofzing

Floofzing (floofinition) – napping in a semi-somnolent state, with senses alert for intrusions, threats, or someone eating something.

In use: “The floofzing cats’ ears turned when he drew a bag of granola from the cupboard, tuning into the sound as they napped and waiting to see what developed.”

 

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The Speed of Time

I’m returning to a favorite topic, the speed of time, because I’ve discovered more about about it.

The speed of time is not universal. As everyone knows, according to the School/Work Principle, time’s speed isn’t constant. When you’re waiting for the school or work day to end, time not only slows, but sometimes goes backward, forcing you to repeat several minutes. Some movies, are like that, too.

Learning of this, the NFL manages to employ this in their football games. The last two minutes of an NFL game often takes as long as most of the rest of the game. My wife can attest to that. She’s endured it. “When are we leaving?” she asks.

“As soon as this game is over.”

“How much is left?”

“Not much.”

That waffling, of course, warns her. “How much time is left?” she asks.

“It’s the last two minutes of the fourth quarter.”

“Okay, I’m going to go bake some cookies.”

Using that as a basis for my research, I confirmed that traffic-jam time drags almost as slow as the final two minutes of an NFL game, or the last ten minutes of work or the school day.  Shopping time remains the slowest of all, though. Even the NFL has not been able to slow time like shopping will do. Figuratively speaking, shopping time can literally last an eternity. I’ve endured several election cycles while I’ve been shopping. I found that having a Fitbit helps deal with shopping time. It doesn’t change the rate of speed, but I can get a couple of million steps in while I’m walking around, waiting.

Waiting in line time is almost as bad as shopping time. I’ve had clothes wear out while I’ve been standing in line to pay for my purchases, especially at Costco. Costco cashier lines exist in a weird time zone of their own where time gets very sluggish. I’ve spent hour-minutes in line, gazing at what others have bought and comparing them to our purchases.

On the other end of it, I’ve discovered some periods of time that pass quickly. Sleep time is very fast. I don’t know how many times I thought, I’ll just sleep for a few more minutes, and then close my eyes, and, snap, forty minutes have elapsed.

Writing time is frequently often as fast. I have three hours to write, I think, and a cuppa coffee. Then I begin, and the next thing I know, writing time is ended, and I still have coffee.

Which is sort of weird. Coffee time by itself seems to flow at an ideal pace. That’s not true for all beverages. I can tell you, beer time goes fast. Sit down to have a beer, and next thing you know, it’s hours later.

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