Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Problem: You are walking at four miles per hour, approaching a crosswalk that is thirty feet away.
A car is coming toward you at twenty-six miles per hour. It is three hundred feet away from the crosswalk.
Which of you will reach the crosswalk first?
Answer: The car. They’ll speed up to ensure they won’t need to stop for you at the crosswalk.
You ever get rid of something, and forget that you had, and then spent time looking for it before giving up, telling yourself, “Well, I must have gotten rid of it.”?
No, not me. Never, right? Right.
We are old
All of our promises are spent
But not forgotten
The battlefields are memorials
The battles
Never resolved
Never forgotten
And never done
Have you ever been stopped in traffic, and wonder, “What’s going on up there?”, and wish you could raise a periscope in your car to see?
I have.
I’ve also wished my house had a periscope. It could be helpful when I’m looking for a missing cat, or to see where the firetrucks are going.
Our glasses were refilled from the pitchers, with the usual comments about head. I grinned at Ed as I slid his glass to him. “There you go, my friend,” I said. “Drink up.”
“Thanks,” he said. He seemed suddenly subdued. He’s a moody guy but he’d just been laughing and joking. I wondered what threw the switch.
“You okay?” I said.
He nodded and took a quick sip of beer.
“What are your Thanksgiving plans?” I said.
Ed shrugged. “Don’t know yet. Still firming.” Sitting up, he turned and looked at me. “I just realized while sitting here, that I don’t have any memories of Thanksgiving with Dad.”
“Sorry,” I said. “Wow. Did he pass early?”
“No, he’s still alive, almost ninety,” Ed said. “I guess he was either gone or working in the early years, and then he and Mom divorced. I visited with him after the divorce, but I guess I never spent Thanksgiving with him. It’s just a surprise to realize that.”
Fried food smells so greasy
That odor is making me queasy
But I do recall
The deliciousness of it all
And the service and prices make it so easy
*Sorry, was walking, smelled the food, and this came to mind.
I was thinking about a smart refrigerator as I walked today, and what my smart refrigerator would do for me. To begin, my smart refrigerator would scan everything in it. It would know what’s in my frig, and its condition. It’d be able to send me a message about the condition and quantity of the romaine lettuce.
It would also get rid of the romaine once it trespassed beyond being usable. The smart refrigerator’s message to me would be, “The romaine lettuce hearts have gone bad. I’m pitching them at midnight, unless I hear from you otherwise.”
Yes, it would give me ultimatums. It would also then pitch the food that’s gone bad, relieving me of the burden.
My smart frig would also suggest dinner options. Its umbrella of operations includes the refrigerator, freezers, and pantry. It’s like the kingdom of food. My smart frig would say, “You have some chicken breasts in the freezer. Shall I take them out and defrost them. There’s some Penna pasta, so I can make you some chicken Penna pasta.”
I wouldn’t even need to ask, “Do I have everything I need?”, because my smart frig would have compared the recipe with what I have on hand, and would have ordered whatever was needed.
Yes, my smart frig has the ability to move food out of its confines to the trash, or take it out, defrost and cook it for me. The smart oven, range, and microwave would work with the smart frig to make it happen.
As I think about it, I’m probably imagining a smart kitchen. Besides the smart frig inventorying my food stuffs and their condition, the kitchen is working with the sink and dishwasher to load dirty dishes, run, and put them away. Over at the smart wine console, another bottle of my favorite red as been ordered, as the bottle I opened last night is half-empty. *ahem*
Meanwhile, over in the smart bathroom, there’s tidying going on. Toilet bowls, sinks, tubs, showers and floors are being cleaned. Dusting and vacuuming is proceeding in the smart bedrooms, closets, and living room. The smart beds made themselves. Out in the smart garage, the smart car has cleaned itself inside and out, including the windows and wheels (because I notice many people don’t seem to clean their wheels). The laundry has been sorted by the smart washer, and the smart dryer is folding clothes and putting them away. The smart kitty litter box has cleaned itself, too.
I guess, what I’m really trying to say in this post, is that I want to live like George Jetson.
Without the traffic, of course. You’d think they would have been smarter about that by then.
Have you ever gone to a store, like Costco, with a list of two things, and emerge forty-five minutes later with over twenty?
No, me neither.
“I’m a haz mom,” she said.
“Oh, like the haz cheezeburger cats?”
“No, I mean I haz to wear a haz-mat suit when I talk to my kids, because most topics are so radioactive.”
Have you ever been on your computer and try to do something, and it won’t do it, or it starts doing something else, and you start yelling at it, “What are you doing? Why are you doing that?”
Yeah, me neither.
Michael Seidel, writer 