Tag: humor

Saturday’s Theme Music

Mood: Dreamspired

Pervasive bright sunshine announced another day was starting in the Churchill Valley.

It’s Saturday, May 25, 2024. A brand-new Saturday, its warranty covers everyhing that might happen, except climate change, politics, war, protests, and natural disasters.* Besides the forementioned sunshine, it was 68 F outside. Clouds were forming for a parade but not stopping the heat from coming on. We expect a high of 83 F but we’re also expecting thunderstorms.

Reading the news today, The Neurons ended up putting “The Pretender” by the Foo Fighters (2007) into the morning mental music stream (Trademark indicted). With all the ‘pretender possibilities out there in rock music land, I had to pause to hunt down, why is this rocker stomper prevailing in the MMMS?

Coffee-fueled noodling about the song, and I concluded, it’s about the song’s chaos, tension, and its threats of violence, and what might happen. Reminds me of the here and now in he U.S.

Fresh coffee has been poured and consumed. I’m ready to keep on keeping on. Be strong, remain positive, and Vote Blue in 2024. Here is the music. Hang on. Cheers

*Other restrictions may apply. Warranty voided at midnight. Non-transferrable.

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Hyfloofbole

Hyfloofbole (floofinition) – Exaggerated or dramatic animal expressions or noises to demonstrate disappointment, outrage, or dismay. Origins: 2000, United States, via Floofernet.

In Use: “Many folks owned by animals are familiar with hyfloofbole their beloved floofies employ to highlight their dire situations, such as hitting an empty food bowl while whining, whimpering, or mewing.”

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The TP Matter

We’ll discuss (almost) everything at Mom’s house (the off-limit topics are known by all even though they’ve never been discussed). So it was that we talked about toilet paper. Somehow I ended up telling Mom about the toilet paper caddy that hangs on the cistern’s side at my house so we always have another roll available.

“Doesn’t it get wet when you flush?” Mom asked.

“No.” I was puzzled.

She continued, “When you flush, water, particles, and germs go all over the place.”

“I know,” I answered. “Don’t you close the lid before you flush?”

“No,” she replied.

“Anyway,” I asked, “what’s that have to do with the toilet paper getting wet? With all that stuff flying around, I’d be more worried about what’s going into my mouth and nostrils or coating my skin.” I told her about an article I read about flushing toilets a few months ago and the plume effect. (I was researching, and one thing just led to another.) Those researchers concluded,

The particles primarily traveled upward and backward toward the wall behind the toilet, but some also moved chaotically in other directions. Once airborne, some particles traveled up to the ceiling, then spread out along the wall and into the room, the researchers noted.

“Eww.” Mom sat back. “When are you going home?”

I recognized a subject change when I heard one.

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75 Degrees F

Being here at Mom’s home and witnessing the thermostat follies fascinates me.

Back in my visit’s first few days, it was chilly, often rainy in the morning or at night. With the thermometer showing 75 F in the house, she and her partner would discuss ‘why it’s so cold’ in the house. I would be consulted but I was overly warm. I didn’t think it cold. My 89-year-old mother would put on a sweater but then ask for the temperature to be raised a few degrees.

It’s 77 degrees outside today, and in the house. Complaining about how hot the house is, she turned on the airconditioner and set it on 75 degrees.

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Floofrational

Floofrational (floofinition) Having an understanding or reasonable insight into animal thinking. Origins: Early 1920s western Pennsylvania.

In Use: “Many people believe they’re floofrational but often can’t explain why animals like or choose specific people.”

In Use: “Although Emi thought she understood her dog after living with him for three years, sometimes he began barking for no reason and wouldn’t stop, undermining her floofrational thinking.”

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Reservations Reservations

I’m staying with Mom in Pennsylvania but I feel like the time for going home is at hand. So I’m looking into return flights for next week.

Checking on one flight segment, from Seattle, WA, to Medford, OR — my final leg — causes some reservation to make the final click.

Seems the flight is 66% on time. That’s the only number provided. For ‘% Late 30 + min” and for ‘% Cancelled’, their little chart says 0%.

So I’m confused. If it’s only on time 66% of the time, and it’s never late or cancelled, what’s happening to the flight? Is it just disappearing?

Then I need to consider, is your flight disappearing that bad?

I mean, I’ve never heard any complaints about it. Depends on where you go and what happens when your flight disappears I suppose. Is it a Stephen King situation or someone else?

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Tuesday’s Wandering Thoughts

I’ve been writing. Now I pull my head out of the morass of story and look around.

The burst of activity which took over the coffee shop like a late spring storm has faded. Regulars have come in. Parked at tables as I’ve done, they pursue their personal agendas in a public forum.

One of them is a woman. I have no idea what she’s doing. I wonder, but, shrug. I try to give everyone the same privacy I seek.

Today, though, I see that her toenails are bright mango. They match her shirt.

I haven’t noticed these things before but now I’m thinking, did she select a shirt and paint her toenails to match it, as is this a coincidence?

Now, I know, I’ll need to see her again and make a note to look for her toenails. Yes, it seems weird to me, too.

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Monufloofal

Monufloofal (floofinition) 1. A huge, or ginormous (relative to its species) animal. Origins: late twentieth century Internet.

In Use: “Col Sanders (named for where he was found and rescued but often called Jumbo) was monufloofal, and when he slept with people, he seemed to double in size, rendering laps numb, and taking up all the space wherever he slumbered.”

2. A highly significant or important animal. Origins: early twenty-first century world wide web.

In Use: “Ol’ Jax was an undersized Jack Russell to most people, but Ol’ Jax was a monufloofal aspect of the homeless vet’s street existence.”

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