Tag: humor

Exfloofulate

Exfloofulate (floofinition) – To earnestly discuss matters with an animal to dissuade them from behavior or remonstrate. Origins: 1573, Europe.

In Use: “After Honey overturned the kitchen trash can, Marsha exfloofulated all the reasons why Honey shouldn’t do things like that as Honey sat there and listened, occasionally wagging her tail.”

In Use: “Bob was sound asleep when Lucy awoke him with a bellowing meow, causing Bob to pick Lucy up and exfloofulate, beginning, ‘What is wrong with you, you stupid cat? That was totally unnecessary.'”

1

Friday’s Wandering Thoughts

I feel terrific. Yes, I have a mild, unproductive, intermittent cough. My eyes feel little hot. I’m dealing with some congestion. My right foot is swollen. So is my left, but that’s just edema I must deal with. My right ankle is sore and suspect, but I’m adjusting to life like that. Ditto with my bloated feeling.

No, the problem today is that I feel terrific. I have high energy levels. I’m optimistic. So, I want to know from my body, from my physical being, What are you up to? Why do I feel this way.

See, I just don’t trust my body any longer. It gives up on unusual things at surprising moments, like putting on underwear. So when it feels ‘good’ and I’m upbeat, I want to know, What’s going on?

My body is up to something. Setting me up to be less alert so it can take me down.

Because that’s the way my body is these days.

0

Today’s Wandering Thoughts

I‘m suffering from usedtoitis today. You may have experienced usedtoitis at some time in your own life. It’s when you start thinking about how it used to be for you and how matters have changed.

Mine is a minor flare up. My wife’s comments to her friend as I was sitting there triggered it. My wife said, “Oh, Michael used to have such pretty curly hair,” and, “Michael used to have such gorgeous sexy legs,” and, “Michael used to be so muscular and skinny.”

Sure, the Positive Neurons chide me, “Hey, at least you were like that once and there was a person who appreciated it.”

The Curmudgeon Neurons reply, “Screw you.”

It ain’t easy going through the aging changes.

0

Floofmove

Floofmove (floofinition) – 1. A stratagem many animals employ involving stealth, slyness, or quickness to get what they want. Origins: early nineteenth century, Europe and the United States.

In Use: “As Jason turned away from the plate, Hercules snatched his sandwich and darted away, a classic floofmove.”

2. Action used by a human in response to animal activities.

In Use: “Wanting to join George in his nap, the cat tapped George until George made a floofmove so the cat had space to join him.”

0

The Writing Moment

My sloppy and unscientific observations draw me to a bottom line that five minutes of writing in my head requires thirty to forty minutes of intense typing to put the scene into the ‘puter.

Your results may vary. Also, this only applies to this manuscript in progress. Also, beverages might play a role in the outcome. Like beer, wine, coffee.

Deeper study is needed for more insightful results. Donations are requested. Like beer, wine, coffee. Maybe a wedge of pie.

0

Floofmotif

Floofmotif (floofinition) – 1. An associated melodic phrase or image, often only experienced in a mental state, that accompanies the reappearance of an animal. Origins: Circa 1880s, Floofmanic tribes.

In Use: “Howdy often raced into a room and slid to a halt, prompting a heroic floofmotif, such as the start of the old television show, The Lone Ranger, which he watched as a child, to jump into Diego’s mind.”

2. Decor dominated by animal imagery and items.

In Use: “A floofmotif of cat trees, dog and cat beds, various balls and chew toes, along with several bird cages, a terrarium and aquarium, and sculptures and paintings of animals, revealed the homeowners to be serious animal champions.”

2

Cofloofinate

Cofloofinate (floofinition) – 1. To arrange household activities with an attitude that the animals living in the household must be kept safe, healthy, and happy.

In Use: “Whenever Doris planned a get-together with friends coming to her house, she cofloofinated with her dogs to ensure they had a quiet place with food and water where they wouldn’t be disturbed.”

2. To arrange a room or building with animals’ needs in mind.

In Use: “Hoping to keep her kitties happy but safe, Karla cofloofinated the house with several cat trees and bed, along with a floofio accessible from inside the house.”

2

Monday’s Wandering Thoughts

We’re at the beach today. We rented a house in Waldport. The back fronts the ocean but has several hundred feet of sand dunes between us and the waterline.

I was sitting on the back patio, looking over the dunes, watching the distance waves when three young women trudged up the beach over our dunes. My inherent geezer kicked in. “You kids get off our dunes,” I shouted, shaking a fist.

No, not really. I just raised my glass of wine in their general direction.

3

Sunday’s Wandering Thoughts

Weird how subpar is unacceptable or below standards for so many things, but it’s pursued as a good outcome in golf.

Words. I’m telling you, they’re literally fascinating.

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑