Tag: humor

Tuesday’s Political Thoughts

Trump’s latest is — hold up.

This is Donald J. Trump. Felon. Just to verify who I’m writing about. He’s the Republican nominee for President of the United States in 2024. One-time POTUS, elected back in 2016, he failed to hold onto the office in 2020, but he refuses to go away.

Trump’s latest declaration is that children are getting sex change operations at school. Going in as one sex, coming home as another.

“Kamala supports states being able to take minor children and perform sex change operations, take them away from their parents, perform sex change operations, and send them back home,” Trump said in a Mosinee, Wisconsin speech.

That’s one of the greatest most out of touch things I’ve heard of him saying. Crazier than his speculation about getting killed by sharks versus being electrocuted if your electric boat sank.

Crazier than his declaration that Mexico will pay for a border wall. Crazier than his lies that wasn’t what he said.

Crazier than windmills causing cancer.

Crazier than his recounting of how the American military took the airports during the American Revolutionary war.

Crazier than his idea that raking forests may help prevent forest fires.

Crazier than his assertion that he actually won the 2020 election, even though he also admits that he lost it. Crazier than his assertion that he has ‘every right’ to interfere in the election results. Crazier than his declaration that he’d been dictator on day one. Crazier than his insistence he knows nothing about Project 2025, despite the evidence of him bragging about it.

Do you realize how crazy and out of touch this latest is? Schools don’t have the money to buy school supplies, and he thinks they have enough money for surgical operations?

C’mon, man. Where are the operating rooms? Are teachers doing this surgery or are they hiring surgeons on the sly? Maybe he thinks the surgeons are volunteers, right?

Seriously, though, this is the best the GOP has to offer the nation, the world, and themselves, a man claiming without any evidence that children are being operated on in schools?

That party has lost its way.

Vote blue in 2024. Please, please, please. Are you seriously willing to accept a person who makes such baseless claims?

If so, I have an airport to sell you. It’s secret, though, at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Trump goes there all the time. You’ll love it.

5

Floofyfest

Floofyfest (floofinition) – A gathering of animals to celebrate the joy of life, the happiness of freedom, and the need for independence. Floofstorians believe it to have originally been organized by cats. Its time and place remains secret. No human is said to have ever witnessed Floofyfest. To date, the only insight that Floofyfest ever took place is from mentions in the remnants of The Chronicles found at Floofhenge. Some floofologists suggest that Floofhenge was the secret site of the first Floofyfest. Origins: circa 3100 BCE, old Floofish.

In Use: “Humper disappeared for three days to attend Floofyfest, and even though she knew her family was devastated by her extended absence, the opportunity to attend Floofyfest was too great to pass.”

5

Watch Out for the Monkey

While writing at the coffee shop, I look at the window and watch as I ponder tenses and action and try to remember a minor character’s name.

The light turns red. A car rushes up to the intersection. The red light slows them down but they don’t stop.

‘No Right Turns On Red’ is posted.

Doesn’t matter. They’re going anyway. Person in the cross walk doesn’t slow them, either. A turn signal is too much for them.

Basically, they violated four laws at one go. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn they were on the phone while they were doing this.

Sometimes I watch this stuff and think, a monkey is driving that car.

3

Wednesday’s Theme Music

Mood: contratagious

Can you believe it? This morning, it’s chilly. About 61 F at my house at the mo. One door and two windows partially open to harvest and store some cold air for the day. Cuz it’s gonna get hot. 99 F.

This is Wednesday, September 4, 2024.

A friend posted a link to an article about Newsmax hosts reacting to J.D. Vance’s assertions that childless elites are dangerous for the country. He — J.D. Vance, not the friend — believes that if you’re childless, you should not be in a position of ‘power’. I imagine he wouldn’t want childless people to teach children, then.

I guess, then, that his Priests all have children, right? If I’m following his thinking, I mean. Like, the Pope should immediately start fornicating his robes off and get to procreating.

In his view, it’s a danger because, “If you don’t have kids, who’s going to take care of you when you’re old?” he continued. “Who’s going to care for our elderly? Work the jobs that are necessary? If we don’t have children, then the answer is nobody.”

J.D. Vance is such a narrow thinker. Which explains why he was against Trump before he stuck his head right up Trump’s ass. See, right now, I’m sure the robot industry, driven by childless engineers, are working hard on this problem of who will care for the childless elderly when they need assistance. These CareBots will probably be produced by all the major car manufacturers, advertised on Facebook and Google, and have Amazon tracking chips so that as soon as someone utters a wish about a food or drink, the CareBot will offer to order it.

I think what J.D. Vance is really worried about is the lack of child labor available. I believe I read that Project 2025 and the GOP in general wants to abolish child labor laws. Don’t quote me on that because I’m operating on precariously low coffee levels. As I see it, though, having children available to work would drive down wages because there would be a larger labor pool. Then US manufacturing can compete with countries where they’re willing to pay people pennies and permit children to work.

Of course, we could not put any children in any positions of power, no matter how intelligent or talented they might be. Because those children don’t have children. Unless, J.D. Vance is planning for children to have children. That wouldn’t surprise me.

BTW, don’t you think that ‘J.D. Vance’ sounds like a low-end department store? “Come on down to J.D. Vance for your Labor Day shopping needs! Our children cashiers and stockers keep our prices the lowest around. We’re open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We have the latest MAGA apparel on sale. And we just got in a shipment of gold-plated replicas of Donald Trump’s shot ear! But hurry. At these prices, this stock won’t last.”

Pivoting, The Neurons are playing “Tusk” in the morning mental music stream (Trademark childless). I blame Jill Dennison for this. I regularly read her blog, or try; I have a bunch of them which I try to read but there’s not enough time, what with all the golfing I do. Any, “Tusk” is a Fleetwood Mac song from the early 1970s. You may have read about the 1970s in your Republican edited textbooks. It was a time when Richard Nixon saved the world from the Godless commies, and OPEC raised gas prices and cut our gas supply, scaring the bejesus out of Americans driving huge motor vehicles which got such poor gas mileage that manufacturers were trying to figure out ways to refuel cars without people having to stop at a gas station. I was there; I remember.

Anyway, we also had ‘rock’ music back then. Fleetwood Mac are rock performers. Jill D. — not to be confused with Micky D. — shared a Fleetwood Mac song. In her informative post, “Tusk” was mentioned. Or maybe I read it somewhere else. I don’t know. It’s all melting together like burning birthday candles on a cake. But The Neurons took those words and brought the song into my head where it’s been playing off and on in between commercials for holiday shopping at J.D. Vance, where every employee has a child. It’s company policy.

Stay positive, be strong, and stay fresh all day long with J.D. Vance’s new and improved J.D. Vance A.D./A.P. Available at J.D. Vance Deparment Stores everywhere.

I need some coffee. Here’s the music. Hope you find it entertaining. Peace out.

*A.D./A.P. = Anti Deodorant/Anti Perspirant

0

Infloofduction

Infloofduction (floofinition) – The process of leading an animal or making it known to another person or animal via a formal act, announcement, or recommendation. Origin:

In Use: “The challenge of welcoming a new animal or family member to a household can often be mitigated by a patient and well-thought out infloofduction.”

In Use: “Sharon B. was prepared for cautious infloofductions between the new kittens and her old Tom, Catmandu, but Catmandu heard and smelled the little ones and began grooming them like he’d given birth to them himself.”

0

Tuesday’s Wandering Thoughts

‘Five minutes’ has changed for my wife and I as we age. It used to be that we’d say, “I’ll be ready in five minutes,” and five minutes later, it was so.

No longer. First, time is faster for us now that we’re older. Happens to most people as they age. What used to take place in five minutes now consumes fifteen minutes. It’s freakin’ amazing. I’ve seen it happen with my mother. She used to say, “I’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes.” That fifteen minutes is now a lot longer.

We face it, too, that, like Mom, we no longer move with young eagerness. We move slower and more carefully. A more leisurely path is followed to dress and prepare to go out. Because we’re at the point in life where we don’t feel a need to hurry, and our bodies agree, slow down, take your time. So, if we tell you that we’ll be ready in about five minutes, have a seat.

It might be a little longer.

0

Floofartaphily

Floofartaphily (floofinition) – The collecting of knickknacks, artwork, trinkets, and materials related to or depicting animals. Origins: Circa 2000, Internet.

In Use: “Carolyn enjoyed floofartaphily, with little statutes of cats, dogs, geese, and cows abounding in shadow boxes or decorating shelves, but her passion were pigs, and there were two hundred items featuring pigs, including paintings, drawings, pillows with pigs on them, statues, and salt and paper shakers, in her living room.”

0

The Truth

I read part of an email about a Costco sale to my wife. “Want me to forward this to you?” I asked.

“Yes, sure, go ahead.”

I did. A few minutes later, she read the same part of the email to me.

I asked, “Do you remember me reading that to you right before I sent it to you?”

She gave me an abashed look flavored with a little alarm and shame.

I said, “You quit listening to me, didn’t you?”

“Well, you go on and on sometimes.”

We both laughed. What else could I do? The truth was staring me in the face.

0

Floogical

Floogical (floofinition) – Relating, involving, or being in accordance with a particular mode of reasoning by an animal.

In Use: “To Atlas, it was floofgical to crumple up the rug by the door, but Suzanne found it a floofstery.”

In Use: “Holler thought it wholly floofgical for him to have the largest and most comfortable chair in the room, even if he was just a small cat.”

3

Floofgineer

Floofgineer (floofinition) — A designer, builder, or person who arranges things for animals’ use or convenience. Origins: Middle Floofish, original noted use circa 1635.

In Use: “With two old dogs and three young cats as her housemates, Shelby was an extraordinary floofgineer, installing steps and ramps for the dogs, cat trees for the felines, and floofios for both to go outside but remain safe.”

4

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑