Floofcoholic (catfinition) – excessive or compulsive love of cats and anything feline.
In use: “He was a floofcoholic, visiting with cats that he met on the streets, sleeping with cats, and asserting their welfare over that of his family and self.”
Saturday’s Theme Music
My cats were singing this to me last night and this morning. Okay, it may have only seemed like they were singing (or humming, or purring) it because everywhere I went, and everything I did, they were watching me.
Here are The Police with Sting’s composition, “Every Breath You Take.”
Alfloofsco
Alfloofsco (catfinition) – a cat in the open air.
In use: “She was a queen of habits and preferred alfloofsco dining in the patio’s morning sun.”
Catlude
Catlude (catfinition) – secret agreement or cooperation between cats to deceive others.
In use: “The household felines catluded to have one of them awaken the sleeping humans, and then the others would clowder-rush the people and demand to be fed.”
Oops.
You ever approach your car in a parking lot and think, boy, I did a terrible job parking, and look at your car and think, man, it’s a lot dirtier than I realized, and then try to get into your car and discover —
Yeah. It’s not your car.
Happened to me yesterday. Meanwhile, friends told a Palo Alto tale involving two Priuses and a parking garage. One of the cars was their vehicle. They got in it, started it up, and began backing out.
The wife said, “Something’s wrong.” She looked around. “I don’t think this is our car.”
More looking around was conducted. They noticed a tissue box on the back seat.
Definitely not their car.
They pulled back into their spot, parked and exited. But, what the hell? Where was their car? They’d parked right here.
Actually, they’d parked two spots over. A large truck blocked their car from their sight during their approach. Some color and year, just a little different.
Incatsolable
Incatsolable (catfinition) – a person or household unable to have felines in the house.
In use: “Gina loved cats but her allergies left her incatsolable.”
Incataneous
Incataneous (catfinition) – a feline’s amazing ability to suddenly appear.
In use: “He’d been calling and looking for the cat for over four hours, when, incataneously, the cat rubbed against his calf.”
Floondle
Floondle (catfinition) – an adult cat with a kindle.
In use: “A floondle was found in the shed, where two cats gave birth.”
Enfloofed
Enfloofed (catfinition) – wrapped up by a cat, often by having them entwine their tails and legs around a person’s body while standing, or by curling up on top of a supine person.
In use: “Grumewing, Quinn enfloofed Michael, stopping him from moving for fear of tripping, because his hands were full.”
Mewliloquy
Mewliloquy (catfinition) – feline habit of mewing to themselves.
In use: “The source of the meowing was Crystal’s mewliloquy in the living room.”
