Tag: humor

There I Go

Got my special space

at the special place

checking out the people

thinking what a waste

but for God and grace

there I go

 

Been lucky again

just like I always been

living life like it’s a mortal sin

I’ve always had an in

because of love and kin

and here I am

 

here I am

on the top

of the bottom

there I go

thinking I have problems

here I am

working the middle

there I go

again and again

 

you say

he’s such a waste

no style or grace

what’s the matter with him?

but that’s not the truth

you don’t know what he’s been through

thinking that he’s just like you

 

there you are

on the top

of the bottom

there you go

thinking you have no problems

here you are

working the middle

there you go

again and again

 

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Late at Night

You ever put something on Facebook or other social media late at night, and have a friend immediately respond to it? Then you think, what are they doing on the Internet so late at night? As a sidebar, do you also sometimes wish you and that person were actually sitting beside each other so you can have an actual conversation?

There are some who remain your friends regardless of how long it was since you last saw them, and the distance between your homes. Good to know such people are out there.

Want to introduce me to a few?

 

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Floofnetic

Floofnetic (catfinition) – a cat who has frenzied outbursts of energy; a frantic cat.

In use: “One kitten jumped up onto the vacuum cleaner. Scrabbling for a grip, she flipped the machine on, galvanizing the placid kittens into herd of floofnetics.”

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Flooflator

Flooflator (catfinition) – a person who can understand cats’ meows and translate them for others. It’s a difficult profession because cats each speak their own dialect, so they even rarely understand one another. Professional flooflators say that the key to understanding cats is to acquire a vocabulary of a few common core words and phrases, such as “feed me,” “let me out,” “let me in,” “treat,” “no,” and “catnip.”

In use: “After forty years of shared ownership of thirteen cats, he’d become a decent flooflator, sufficiently skilled that others called him the cat whisperer, which he dismissed that as an exaggeration.”

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The Photograph

You ever see a photograph of yourself and scream in horror? “Oh my God, is that really how I look?”

In this case, the photo was on a website supporting a charity where I was a volunteer drone. It’s on the page where you order the tickets for this year’s event. I can imagine people seeing my photo and asking, “Alfred Hitchcock was there? I thought he was dead.”

Funny, but I never see myself like that in the mirror. Beauty is in the beholder’s eye, innit?

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Cathold

Cathold (catfinitions) – 

1. Place where cats reside and rule, sometimes also referred to as a house, or household, particularly by people in denial.

2. A cat’s grip on something, usually by way of claws, but sometimes with both claws and teeth.

In use: “The cathold revolved around the queen’s routines and protocols. The little tabby, Lily, enjoyed preferential treatment by humans and the tom’s, which meant that a four A.M. feeding was normal, and she ate first.”

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