Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofgenitor (floofinition) – 1. housepet who is the precursor; 2. housepet who originates a practice; 3. housepet that’s in the direct line of floofcestors.
In use: “Candid was the floofgenitor that established the animals’ habit of wanting to drink the bath water. Once she started doing it, the rest also took to the practice, as if the bath water was a magical brew.”
Floofcestor (floofinition) – one from whom a housepet is descended and who is usually more remote in the line of descent than a grandfloof.
In use: “Although he weighed but nine pounds, Andi was certain that Jon Snow’s floofcestors included a saber-toothed tigers, given the black cat’s amazing hunting prowess.”
Floofport (floofinition) – 1. Act of carrying a housepet; 2. Mode of one pet carrying another, such as a mother carrying her young; 3. Slang reference to a pet door.
In use: “Floofporting a kitten in her mouth, the momma cat prepared to leave via the floofport, pushing the woman to rush over, pick the two up, and floofport them back into the other room where she’d set a box up for the new feline family.”
Flooflish (floofinition) – English as spoken to housepets.
In use: “Dropping to his knees, the big man shifted into flooflish. “Who’s daddy’s pwetty little boy?” he asked his big dog in a high voice. Wagging his tail, the dog leaped forward and started licking his face. “That’s right, you are,” the man said as the dog licked him. “You are. That’s right, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Good boy, good dog, good lad.”
Coup d’floof (floofinition) – sudden, decisive action by one animal to change the situation among housepets.
In use: “In a brilliant coup d’floof, the dog grabbed the contested bed with his teeth and flipped it over with a mighty jerk, sending the cat out onto the floor.”
Floofosity (floofinition) – curiosity explicit to knowledge about housepets and their health, appearance, habits, and activities.
In use: “He often inquired about others’ pets, showing a native floofosity about the origins of their names, how they came to be in the household, how old they were, and so on.”
Maybe she’s sick or blind,
so, she don’t look this way, or,
maybe she’s afraid or worried,
so, she don’t look this way.
Maybe she’s unfriendly, stuck-up, or conceited,
cuz she don’t look this way,
or too insecure,
because she don’t look this way.
Could be that she’s dead,
’cause she don’t look this way
or maybe I’m invisible,
because she don’t look this way,
or I’m old, sick, or dying,
because she won’t look this way.
Flooftory (floofinition) – a housepet’s overcoming of a nemesis or obstacle; a housepet’s achievement, such as stealing a piece of cheese or a steak from an unwary human.
In use: “People often misuse flooftory, confusing it with inflooftory, but the first is about a floof winning something, such as the rights to a space, a piece of food, etc., and inflooftory is about finding all the animals to confirm their locations.”
Being part of this era of pop-culture and consumer living is wonderful. We witness the rise and fall of trends, and technology grants us visitation rights with what was then and how it was done.
I grew up in the cigarette culture. Born in 1956, the doctors and nurses were probably smoking when I was delivered. Everyone was smoking in the 1960s. Movie and television stars used cigarettes as props for being cool, sophisticated, and fashionable. Mom and Dad smoked while doing everything from working on the car (yeah, that was a thing, then, and it was probably not a safe thing) to entertaining guests. Children stole cigarettes and smoke in secret to be like their parents. A smoky haze filled bars, airplanes, and restaurants.
I didn’t smoke cigarettes. I smoke marijuana, a little hash, and then cigars and pipes, but never cigarettes (yea, me?). I never smoked much of any of it, and quit any smoking thirteen years ago. I have sometimes vaped some marijuana since then.
I was thinking about the cigarette smoking and their commercials, jingles, and slogans. Do you know about those days, when cigarette advertising was as dominant as medicine advertising now is? If not, you should learn about “Tareytons are better, charcoal is why,” and cigarettes that were made for women, or manly cigarettes like Camels and Marlboros, and the meaning behind LSMFT*.
We made fun of it all back then. Winston had a jingle about how good their cigarettes were. I’ve included that below. We sang a different song about Winstons.
“Winstons taste bad, like the one I just had. No filter, no flavor, just toilet paper.”
* LSMFT – Lucky Strikes Mean Fine Tobacco.
Michael Seidel, writer 