Tuesday’s Bumper Sticker #2
Predator
While sitting on the commode, doing their business, has anyone heard their body making noises like the predator from the original Predator movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger is hunting them?
Asking for a friend. Should he be worried?
Floofvenir
Floofvenir (floofinition) – 1. A momento or keepsake to remember a pet. 2. An article, such as a sock, pillow, stuffed animal, or shirt, that a pet keeps and sleeps with for comfort.
In use: “In a private drawer, he kept floofvenirs of the four dogs and three cats he’d owned — used collars with a locket with their name and a favorite picture. It was private, meant only for him.”
Floofears
Floofears (floofinition) – A unique hearing capability among pets that allow them to hear cans and refrigerator doors opening, rattling kibble, and package rustling, often from amazingly far distances and frequently through walls and doors.
In use: “Opening a can of food for one cat pestering him, a scratching at the door pulled his attention. Staring in through the window beside the front door, the cat meowed at him. Shaking his head, he went to the door to open it and let the cat in to be fed, even as he marveled at their floofears.”
As A Muse Will
I’d come in, fired up the ‘putin’ machine (no, not the one that make everything that comes out look or sound like Putin), had my coffee, and settled in to write. Problem was that I didn’t know what to write.
In the course of revising April Showers 1921, I added another layer. It’s worked well. I was ready to end that layer. I didn’t know how. I’d been thinking about it but nothing came to me.
And then, hands on keyboard, the muse arrived and conducted, as a muse will. A scene flashed on my mind’s edge. Words arrived. I typed. The scene took off, becoming multiple scenes and dialogue, becoming a chapter. Walking away from it much satisfied with the results, I continued thinking about it as I conducted my post-writing walking review, and the next pieces came to me. Arriving yesterday and setting up, I took up with that, and had more terrific results. Then, today — yep, again, for a hat trick.
It was an intense and productive three days. I feel like I’m just coming back up for air.
I know it’s not a muse, but deep recesses in my mind shooting neurons at mental walls until something sticks and some sort of Jackson Pollack-like story ideas gel. It’s easier, simpler, and more elegant to just attribute it to the muse, though.
Besides, you never know. If it is a muse, sure as hell don’t want pull a Joey Tribbiani* and upset them.
Done writing like crazy for at least one more day. Cheers
* If you need the explanation…
Joey Tribbiani was a Friends character played by actor Matt LeBlanc. (Friends was a U.S. television sitcom on NBC last century.) Joey was an actor who achieved success on a daytime television soap opera. During an interview, Joey claimed that he wrote most of his own lines. The writer wasn’t happy and promptly killed the character.
The end.
Floofsuasive
Floofsuasive (floofinition) – Sound, expressions, and behavior that pets employ to gain attention and move others to give them things such as food, treats, and attention.
In use: “One cat employs a sad, drawn out meow that really conveys his deep levels of suffering and deprivation, a combination that’s always floofsuasive.”
Zorofloof
Zorofloof (floofinition) – Pets who are manifestations of a supreme deity that come into being to deliver progressively deeper and more insightful knowledge about reality’s nature to Earth’s inhabitants.
In use: “She couldn’t explain it, but her cat’s presence calmed her while enabling deeper thinking and sharper, clearer memories. When she mentioned this to a friend, he smiled. “Zorofloof.” His expression, tone, and soft volume reflected the introduction to something more enigmatic.”
Floofeyes
Floofeyes (floofinition) – A sad, pleading look housepets employ to manipulate people.
In use: “No treats was the rule, but Titus would turn his floofeyes on her. Sighing, she’d say, “Okay, but just one,” but with those floofeyes, he always got three.”
Michael Seidel, writer 