Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofvertising (floofinition) – Employing the images, activities, or sounds of animals to engage prospective customers.
In use: “Tigers are popular creatures in floofvertising efforts, as their natural beauty, strength, and grace appeals to people who want to be like them.”
Floofgagement (floofinition) – An arrangement centered on an animal to do something or go somewhere at a fixed time.
In use: “Having so many animals – seven cats, three dogs, two birds, a rabbit, and pygmy goat — they naturally had many vet floofgagements.”
Floofweight (floofinition) – Weight that an animal seems to weigh when they don’t want to be moved.
In use: “The cat was a little ten-pound meatball of long fur, but she seemed to weigh about two hundred whenever anyone tried to move her. Of course, she also usually deployed claws, too.”
I haven’t flown in about a year. It’s surprising how much has changed at the various airports and airlines. Most critically, I let my TSA Pre-check expire. Now I must wait in lines, strip down to my boxers, flash my privates, and share everything that I have to eat with anyone in a five foot circle before going through security.
One thing that hasn’t changed are my people. I don’t know them. I hope they’re my tribe. You’ve probably seen them, one arm bent at the elbow, a cuppa coffee extended in front of them like a bumper, marching their bags in search of. Soon as localized, I found a Peet’s — YES! PEET’S — and purchased a coffee.
High airport prices haven’t changed. $3.19 for a small coffee. Yikes. If it wasn’t a bonafide medical emergency, I may have passed. But caffeine was calling and the sky was falling…
It was needed, though. Looking forward to another thirteen hours across land and through air before reaching the final place.
Cheers
Flooflegy (floofinition) – a poem or song of a serious nature about or including an animal, especially a housepet or companion.
In use: “Some considered that mention animals in a tangent manner, such as “Me and You and A Dog Named Boo” by Lobo, as a flooflegy, even though the dog’s placement is just as a rhyming tool through its name, boo.”
Batting his ears, he wriggled his eyes, crossed his nostrils, and lowered his chest to think, popping another leaf into his belly-button as he did. Something was different today, but he couldn’t put a toe on it.
Amuse-floofche (floofinition) – A small complimentary appetizer offered to an animal, particularly a housepet.
In use: “She was sloppy eater but her schnauzer didn’t mind, gobbling down anything dropped like it was an amuse-floofche.”
Comfloofications (floofinitions) – Ability among animals to pass messages to one another through one or more channels, such as smell, sound, or touch. Note: When done by cats via whiskers, sniffing, and rubbing, comfloofications is often referred to as catmunications.
In use: “People approaching the bush upset the bird guarding her nest. Her comfloofications about an approaching threat caused a digesting deer to stand up and pay close attention.”
Floofquiry (floofinition) – An investigation or examination conducted solely by animals.
In use: “An empty box in the room’s center soon triggered the beginning of a floofquiry. The bird began the floofceedings by calling out, “There’s a box in the living room.” Within seconds, leading with their noses, two cats and two dogs appeared on scene as floofrensic investigators.”
Floofkate (floofinition) – Floof Goddess of Moon, Earth, and Time. Floofkate was one of the profloofitors of the original floof kingdom, and learned to harness quantum energy in a way that others see as magic. A persistent myth exists that Floofkate was one of the many animals which are mentioned in human legends, but no longer exist. Most frequently cited is the unicorn.
In use: “As animal consciousness grew, connecting to one another on a quantum level in exponential numbers, Floofkate’s influence increased. Soon, with her help, they began dominating the Internet.”
Michael Seidel, writer 