With out mighty jigfloof’s assistance, we completed the cat and book puzzle. Quite a pleasure, challenging and satisfying.
Floof-particle
Floof-particle (floofinition) – The smallest unit of distinct and identifiable matter of an animal.
In use: “Floof-particles exist as imaginary dark matter, and is thought to be everywhere, leading to the Fur Theory, a proposal that all chemical elements are manifested from previously shed animal fur.”
Floofsecond
Floofsecond (floofinition) – A span of time involving animals that seems beyond measure but is amazingly fast and probably involves quantum entanglements.
In use: “The dog seemed old, ambling about the house like a lost shadow, but when a can was opened, he showed up at her feet in a floofsecond, eyes bright and tail wagging.”
Floofmail
Floofmail (floofinition) 1. An animal’s attempt to influence a person’s actions via affection or threats.
In use: “Deciding to resort to floofmail, the kitten started hissing and spitting, but the woman continued washing the little feline, ridding its tiny body of ticks, fleas, dirt, and grease.”
2. Traditional or electronic mail devoted to subjects and news about animals.
In use: “As he grew more concerned about the environment, he signed up for greater numbers of newsletters about animal rescue organizations. Floofmail soon dominated his daily correspondence.”
3. Mail delivered by an animal to its people.
In use: “Every day, the retriever greeted the mail carrier, ate a treat that was offered, and then accepted and delivered it to the bedridden man, which always earned him another treat, proving floofmail’s value in the digital age.”
Floofmencement
Floofmencement (floofinition) – An act, instance, or time of beginning an experience with, or engaging with, an animal.
In use: “With many people, floofmencement began with looking into an animal’s eyes. From in there, people grasped love, pain, sadness, hope, among other emotions, and took it on themselves to be with and help this creature.”
Friday’s Theme Music
Looked in the mirror this morning…
Yeah, big mistake. Reminder: never look in the mirror before medicating with coffee, Michael.
My father’s image started replacing my image about ten years ago; now his father is replacing his image in my mirror. After reflecting on that (hah! get it? yeah, I thought you did), I drifted toward the day’s beginning where the cats awaited the feeding rituals. Thinking about what needed to be done today and tomorrow, I drifted toward a spot of sunshine peeking over mountain, and through the trees and window. With that, a 1979 Kinks song flushed into the stream.
Woke up this morning, started to sneeze
I had a cigarette and a cup of tea
I looked in the mirror what did I see
A nine stone weakling with knobbly knees
I did my knees bend press ups touch my toes
I had another sneeze and I blew my nose
I looked in the mirror at my pigeon chest
I had to put on my clothes because it made me depressed
Surely there must be a way
For me to change the shape I’m in
Dissatisfied is what I am
I want to be a better man
Superman, Superman, wish I could fly like Superman
h/t to Genius.com cuz’ cut and paste is easier than typing.
Here’s the song, “(Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman”. Dig that bass line.
The Favor
The young, slender woman with short dark hair said, “Excuse me.”
Looking up from his Apple laptop, the man raised his bushy eyebrows. Seeing the woman, he adjusted his thick glasses and smiled. He noticed her when she sat. Yes, she was attractive, and looked fit, but she reminded him of his daughter. She would’ve been about the same age, had she lived. “Yes?”
“Can you do me a favor? I need to use the restroom. Would you mind watching my bag for me?”
“That bag?” The man pointed at the green bag on the table. “Is that the bag?”
“Yes, that’s the very one.”
“Okay, I’ll watch it. But what should I be watching it to do? Does it do tricks?”
The woman laughed. “Yes, sometimes it dances. I’ve seen it but nobody else has ever seen it, so you’d be really helping me if you watched my bag.”
“Well, a dancing bag, I certainly will keep an eye on it. I’ll keep an eagle eye on it. I’ll turn on my laptop’s video and record it, in case it starts dancing.”
Laughing again, the woman said, “Thank you. I’ll be right back.”
She headed to the restroom with the man watching, smiling after her. Beginning to return to his computer, he caught movement. Looking up, he gasped.
Her green bag was doing a jig on the table. As he gawked, the bag completed a spin move, then fell back and hopped up. As it danced more, he glanced around for signs of hidden cameras or other witnesses.
The restroom door opened. The bag flopped onto the table into its original position.
“Thank you,” the woman said, returning. “Did my bag dance for you?”
“Yes,” the man said. “It did dance. I wish I had recorded it. Your bag stood up and danced.”
Beginning to sit, the woman stared at him. As she said, “What,” he said, “Is this a joke? Am I on one of those prank shows like Candid Camera?”
“No, it’ s not a joke.” Picking up the green bag, the woman stepped closer to the man. “I thought you might — ” Her voice was low. “I need your help. Please come with me.”
Turning, she walked away, calling back over her shoulder, “Come on, hurry.”
Packing up his laptop, the man muttered, “Okay, okay, I will, I’m coming, but you have some explaining to do.” As he rushed after her, he muttered, “I should’ve never agreed to watch her bag.”
Floofargy
Floofargy (floofinition) Animal state of indifference.
In use: “The cats heard the noises in the other room, but it was early afternoon, it didn’t seem threatening (and it was in the other room, and it didn’t sound like food might be involved), and they were comfortably napping, so…floofargy winning, the cats stretched their toes, shifted their heads, and resumed their slumber.”
Floofrupter
Floofrupter (floofinition) – Something that interrupts an animal’s normal routines, activities, or processes.
In use: “Everything was quiet, and the cats were grooming themselves after eating, when a floofrupter in the form of a large ginger cat not seen before showed up at the glass patio door.”
