Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofinist (floofinition) (archaic) – Ancient floofish term for a person who treated and cared for animals during the Age of Afloofination, the period when animals came to Earth and became acquainted with humans.
In use: “Not trained as a vet (indeed, she had no formal education — she didn’t even graduate from a secondary school), she displayed a remarkable affinity for animals’ health and moods, and upon learning of floofinists from the Quenta Floovarillion, adapted it for herself.”
Flooface (floofinition) – The facial expression that people don while addressing animals.
In use: “Squatting down to the speak to the large dog, she raised a hand, finger extended for him to smell, put on an inviting flooface, and adopted a comforting tone of voice to earn his trust.”
Dieting? Gaining weight, losing weight? Beer, marijuana, coffee, wine? Brain? What’s this about?
Floofedge (floofinition) – Surface marred or disfigured by an animal’s repetitive use.
In use: “The bathroom door jamb had a blackened floofedge where the paint was wearing thin, where the cats liked to stand and rub their chins while talking to him when he was on the can.”
Today, I applaud St. Seata.
Like St. Asphalta, St. Seata was originally a human who became a saint who attained a godlike presence by fulfilling others’ needs as expressed through prayer. St. Asphalta was all about cars, transportation, and traffic; you appeal to St. Seata for sitting issues. Sometimes, in mass transportation, such as trains and commercial airlines, St. Seata and St. Asphalta work together to address people’s prayers.
St. Seata’s origins stretch back into the caves of antiquity and are known through ancient cave paintings discovered in Europe. One of the first human cave dwellers, others often came to St. Seata’s cave and asked, “Hey, can you fit one more in there?” St. Seata always found a way to oblige.
As with many of the ancients, St. Seata fell out of favor for a period as organized religions and wealth dominated the seating scene. He eventually made a comeback via as major disasters like the great fires of London and Chicago, or wildfires, typhoons, hurricanes, and earthquakes that took down populated areas. As space and safety became scarce, people found themselves appealing to find a place to sit.
Entertainment has fortified St. Seata’s presence. People looking for tickets to events such as soccer and football games, the Olympics, music concerts like the Beatles, etc., draw him forward to help them with their pleas for seats, too. St. Seata tries to help them all.
My prayer to St. Seata was for a much less dire situation. Sunday morning, and I was late to the coffee shop. Spotting the full parking, I worried about getting a seat where I could sit with my coffee, plug in the ‘puter, and do my writing thang.
St. Seata obliged with my second favorite space. Thank you, St. Seata.
Floofboozle (floofinition) – The act of cheating one animal by another animal.
In use: “The treats were set on the ground in front of each canine. The three were arrayed with the smallest dog, a terrier, in the middle of the two big retrievers. When the signal was given, the terrier raced forward, grabbed all three treats in his mouth, and hurried off, floofboozling the others of their goodies.”
Related: Bamfloofzle
Coldpaw (floofinition) – Gesture with paw animals use to stop humans from doing something.
In use: “She was petting her cat’s back when he gave her a look and coldpawed her.”
In use: “Calling her friends and their friends, they quickly organized a sip celebrating wine, cheese, chocolate, and Friday.”
It began in her eyes and radiated down through her cheeks, touching her lips, becoming an aura as bright as sunlight on a clear winter day. Then the dark chocolate entered her mouth, and the smile grew impossibly sweeter.
