Saturday’s Bumper Sticker
Floofcorum
Floofcorum (floofinition) – Animal behavior in keeping with good taste and propriety.
In use: “In many regions, proper floofcorum demand that animals sniff one another’s rear end when meeting.”
Floofbrary
Floofbrary (floofinition) – A place in which animals, particularly pets, (such as cats, dogs, birds, fish, hamsters, and guinea pigs) are kept but are not for sale, adoption, or public viewing.
In use: “Entering the Wilkinson floofbrary immediately caused a raising of heads or opening of eyes as the animals took in the new break in their day. After a moment, many yawned and stood, stretching, before cantering over to greet the visitor.”
Old
old boy
old dog
old cat
old man
old song
old ways
old love
old pain
old dreams
old life
old math
old strife
old hope
old home
old sticks
old bones
Floof Node
Floof Node (floofinition) – Receptor organs (located in the brain, hands, and heart) in humans that allow them to enjoy animal companionship and take and give comfort to animals.
In use: “Overstimulation of floof nodes often caused humans to stay motionless in an uncomfortable position because they didn’t want to disturb a sleeping animal.”
Floofedly
Floofedly (floofinition) – In a manner that shows tenacity and grim persistence.
In use: “The dog floofedly sat at the window, waiting for anyone — human, animal, squirrel, or mailmeat — to trespass on her walk.”
Floof-exchange
Floof-exchange (floofinition) – Place where animals go to enter quantum portals that allow them to live better lives in alterverses. Sometimes they take their current bodies with them but have the power to leave that body behind, sometimes later returning to that same body. Because of the floof-exchange’s nature, it’s possible for animals to arrive seconds before they left so it appears that they never departed at all.
In use: “Multiple floof-exchanges exist wherever humans lived, but humans lack the intelligence and skill sets to see or understand them, and the animals use them freely.”
Shufflefloof
Shufflefloof (floofinition) – 1. Activity where a person moves one pet or animal only to have another one engage them. 2. Game with a complex points system where pets take whatever place a human or other pet vacated. Higher points are given if the points are from an animal different from themselves.
In use: “Classic games of shufflefloot are constantly being shared on social media, such as the one about the cat, Dylan, who keeps stealing a woman’s spot whenever she moves.”
Floofhop
Floofhop (floofinition) – One-legged hopping movement people employ after stepping on a floofberry or floofack.
In use: “Walking barefoot through the dark, Michael felt a cold squish under his toes and instantly began the floofhop.”
Sunday’s Theme Music
Today’s song popped out of nowhere into my stream, nowhere being an easy reference to the interior realms of the space where my little gray brain cells huddle for warmth. But overhearing the women across the coffee shop talking (powerful stage voices), the song is appropriate.
“Changes” by David Bowie (1972) was already nestled in my cerebellum when I sat down but I wasn’t sure if it was today’s music. Then I heard the women talking.
First, they mentioned streaming services. They were comparing Netflix and Amazon Prime (or Prime Video), and how they share and release shows and movies on their sights. Talking about Amazon Prime prompted one to mention the free two-day shipping on many items, and the associated guarantees. A joke about getting stuff faster so you would order more faster emerged. Memories about ordering stuff in the old days and getting it six to eight weeks followed. It usually came by mail, too. UPS and Fed Ex trucks weren’t rushing around every where in those days.
Then they talked about catalogs. Spiegel’s. Sears. Montgomery Wards. Ah, yes, they’d ordered from all of them, and had fond memories of ordering from the Spiegel’s calendar. (I’ve ordered from them all, too, especially when I lived outside of the U.S. in the 1970s.) The women then recollected tales of the outhouse where the Sears catalog sometimes ended up, as those thin pages worked well to clean up after your business.
Last, they recalled S&H Green Stamps and using a sponge to paste pages at a time.
Yep, “Changes” is appropriate for today, from the weather and the seasons, to the music and the times, and how long it takes for your order to arrive.
I decided to use this Youtube offering of “Changes” because of Bowie’s photo. Look at the lad. Ah, changes.
Michael Seidel, writer 