Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Syncfloofnicity (floofinition) – Simultaneous animal behavior that seems coordinated and planned.
In use: “Acting in syncfloofnicity, the cat and dog jumped up when the door opened, stretched and yawned, tails up, and then trotted over to greet her as she said hello, sitting down in front of her for attention.”
Floofbador (floofinition) – 1. A class of poets who focus their lyrical attempts on writing about animals.
In use: “He wasn’t a floofbador, despite his efforts to create haifloofs.”
2. A person who likes singing to animals.
In use: “Each day, she sat down to be a floofbador by singing opera, immediately drawing the shepherd to her presence, where he anxiously tried looking into her mouth to see what was going on.”
3. A singing animal, particularly of traditional floof songs such as the classic, “Feed Me Now”.
In use: “Every morning, usually at about five thirty, depending on the weather (she wasn’t fond of cold, wind, or precipitation), the neighbor’s little feline floofbador stole in through the pet door, went to the bed, and began her song of desperate hunger, belying her plump appearance.”
Afloofment (floofinition) – 1. The state of being amused by an animal’s behavior.
In use: “Everyone enjoyed watching amusing animal behavior, but the web facilitated an explosion of afloofment as people posted and shared funny animal actions by the thousands each day.”
2. Activity done to entertain or distract animals, especially housepets.
In use: “After a new pet joins the household, people typically exert time and thought to see what afloofment their new fur friend likes, trying games like fetch, tag, and rassle.”
Remembering the past doesn’t do much good.
That’s what they tell me. The past is dead. Water under the bridge.
But we still spend a lot of time there, arguing about what happened in that particular moment (ah yes, I remember it well), trying to pick out the jigsaw pieces of memory that shows how we got here. (You’d think that weird shape would be easy to find, but the pieces are harder to place than you would have believed.)
Remembering the past can be entertaining. Like, remember how your football team used to win? Remember how skinny and good-looking you used to be? Thank god for photos, or no one would ever believe it, right?
Then sometimes, you pause, glancing up to see yourself coming in through a door in the future, then hold your breath as you look back to see who you were and squint at your self-image to know who you now are.
Then the present — which was the future and has now become the past — crowds in with needs about what you were going or where you were doing — oh, look how mixed up I am! — and then rights your direction until memory calls you away again.
Flooflicious (floofinition) – Something that is highly pleasant in taste, smell, or appeal to an animal.
In use: “The cats each varied which canned food they’d eat and what kibble they preferred, but when it came to tuna water, all agreed that it was whisker-licking flooflicious.
Floofinist (floofinition) (archaic) – Ancient floofish term for a person who treated and cared for animals during the Age of Afloofination, the period when animals came to Earth and became acquainted with humans.
In use: “Not trained as a vet (indeed, she had no formal education — she didn’t even graduate from a secondary school), she displayed a remarkable affinity for animals’ health and moods, and upon learning of floofinists from the Quenta Floovarillion, adapted it for herself.”
Flooface (floofinition) – The facial expression that people don while addressing animals.
In use: “Squatting down to the speak to the large dog, she raised a hand, finger extended for him to smell, put on an inviting flooface, and adopted a comforting tone of voice to earn his trust.”
Dieting? Gaining weight, losing weight? Beer, marijuana, coffee, wine? Brain? What’s this about?
Floofedge (floofinition) – Surface marred or disfigured by an animal’s repetitive use.
In use: “The bathroom door jamb had a blackened floofedge where the paint was wearing thin, where the cats liked to stand and rub their chins while talking to him when he was on the can.”
Michael Seidel, writer 