Thursday’s Bumper Sticker
Edfloofcate
Edfloofcate (floofinition) – 1. The process of delivering knowledge, particularly about rules, to animals.
In use: “You’re a new cat, so let me edfloofcate you to the house rules,” he said. “Number one, it’s my house and my rules.”
2. The process of training humans to understand that animals make their own rules.
In use: “Sitting down, the cat regarded the man with bemused eyes. Time to edfloofcate him about the truth about his house and his rules.”
Unfloofditional
Unfloofditional (floofinition) – Not limited to a specific breed of animal or individual animal.
In use: “They called it a dog bed, but the goats sleeping on it demonstrated that it was an unfloofditional label.”
Floofware
Floofware (floofinition) – Major items of equipment or components intended for use by animals.
In use: “Although laptops and keyboards are not floofware, many pets like to believe otherwise.”
The Cookies
“The cookies are easy to make,” she told Cindy after sharing the recipe with her. “You should make them when your grandchildren come up. They came up. It’d be fun.”
“Good idea. I will.”
A few days later, Barb ran into Cindy. “We made the cookies,” Cindy said.
“And…?”
“They burned.”
“What?”
“Tell me the recipe again.”
“You start with tortillas and cut them out with cookie cutters.”
“I did that.”
“Then you put them on the baking sheet and brush them with butter.”
“Butter! You didn’t mention butter.”
“I think I did…but, after you brush them with butter, you dust them with cinnamon and sugar.”
“Sugar! You didn’t say anything about sugar.”
“Do you want me to send you an email with the recipe?”
“No, I’ll have my son-in-law find them for me.”
Tuesday’s Theme Music
Heavy traffic downtown in our town yesterday. Ah, holidays, I figured. School is out. Last minute shopping. Meeting for drinks and meals, doing holiday things under the weak sunshine in the forty-degree air.
Which kicked Lindsey Buckingham singing “Holiday Road” (1983). I know the song from that classic comedy, National Lampoon’s Vacation with Chevy Chase. We were on Okinawa when it came out (military), and saw it on video at home. The movie became a favorite.
“I found out long ago,
“it’s a long way down the Holiday Road.”
“Holiday Road” has a lot of energy but not many words, yet it conveys that whole sense of excitement of jumping into the Family Truckster and braving the Interstates for a family vacation.
I especially like the dog’s barking at the song’s end.
Hope your Holiday Road is a smooth and safe one this year. Let’s be safe out there.
Had to include something of National Lampoon’s Vacation, right?
Floofvesting
Floofvesting (floofinition) – 1. Subscribing and participating in activities and investments which focus on improving animals’ existences.
In use: “Smart floofvesting begins with diet, as many pet owners have learned, as scandals revealed pet food ingredient scams which had dire impact on their pets’ health.”
2. To have a live animal (or animals) draped over you like a blanket, jacket, or sweater.
In use: “Settling down to read required no formal notice; floofvesting began within seconds as the cats and dogs found spaces on his legs, chest and abdomen, and made themselves comfortable.”
Secrets
He lived a private life, a reclusive millionaire by day, porn addict at night.
His car was polished to a gleam that blinded others. The carpets, rugs, and hardwood floors in his house seemed like they were never used. White teeth in a bright smile, hair groomed and cultivated (almost like a model), he wore fashionable clothes with casual ease, hiding the deformities of his soul. Nothing was out on the counters where others might start learning the truth. These were hidden in drawers and cupboards, tucked away behind other materials, not found without a lengthy search…unless you knew where to look.
Yes, he had his secrets, nothing that he would share with others. He had secrets that he never spoke of even to himself, afraid that if he did, he might give himself away.
Just in Passing
That time is gone
the energy spent
the road left behind
resentments left unsaid
All that remains
is peering ahead
crossing new bridges
dodging monsters in your head
Think about yesterday
dream about tomorrow
Go on through life
deal with the frustration and sorrow
Then get up and out
get gone and back
live one more day
and do it again
Solfloof
Solfloof (floofinition) – Animal who enjoys sunshine.
In use: “Although the cats enjoyed prowling the night, during the day, they were genuine solfloofs, sleeping and preening in the sun, rulers of the night, replenishing their energy.”
Michael Seidel, writer 