Our bodies are worn
Our minds are weary
Our eyes are tired
Our vision bleary
Our muscles are strained
Our backs are bent
Our knees give out
Our energy is spent
Our memories fade
Our thoughts will wander
Time for coffee
To sit and ponder
Floofen Reddy
Floofen Reddy (floofinition) – Flooftralian-Floofmerican floof pop (floop) singer and songwriter, who was also an author, actress, and activist, from Floofbourne, Floofstralia.
In use: “Achieving international success, Floofen Reddy became well known for her song, “I Am Floofy”, a song which the floofinist movement quickly embraced.”
Alexa, Stop
My wife is arguing with Alexa again.
Alexa is the persona ’employed’ by Amazon Echo. My wife and the machine often argue. Usually it’s about the weather.
“Alexa, what will the temperature be at eleven?”
“Here’s information that might answer your question. Band members turn their speakers up to eleven in the 1984 mockumentary, This is Spinal Tap.”
“No, Alexa.” Alexa is still talking. “Alexa, stop. What will the temperature be in Ashland at eleven?”
“The temperature in Ashland, Montana — “
“No, Alexa, stop. What will be the temperature at eleven AM in Ashland, Oregon, today?”
We don’t understand why Alexa will suddenly shift states on us. Alexa’s been with us for a few years. She knows that we live in Ashland, Oregon. We suspect she’s bored and messing with us.
Today’s argument is about music. My wife likes belly-dancing. George Abdo is one of her favorite performers for belly-dancing music. She plays the music almost every day, sometimes several times a day. It’s quite catchy. I sometimes find myself hearing it and belly-dancing. Well, that’s what I call it. My wife doesn’t agree.
“Alexa, play music by George Abdo.”
“Playing music by George Straight.”
“No! Alexa, stop! Alexa, play music by George Abdo.” She carefully enunciates the last name.
“Playing music by Paula Abdul.”
“No, Alexa, fucking stop. What’s wrong with you? You JUST PLAYED IT AN HOUR AGO.”
Alexa doesn’t answer.
“Alexa, play music by George Abdo.”
“Here’s information that — “
“Alexa, stop. Just forget it.”
Floofnostic
Floofnostic (floofinition) – An animal who doesn’t believe or disbelieve what a person said, but remains doubtful and ambivalent about it.
In use: “The cat and dog each were floofnostic when their human said, “It’s cold and wet outside. You won’t like it.” They each insisted on going out, but then immediately wanted back in.”
Pseudo Floof
Pseudo Floof (floofinition) – Floofstralian floof wave band formed in Floofbourne in 1982.
In use: “Pseudo Floof is mostly known in Floofmerica for their cover of “Funky Floof” in 1986.”
Flooftini
Flooftini (floofinition) – A martini of any variation which includes animal fur in it. Sometimes also referred to as a floofy martini.
In use: “It was his habit to make martinis for him and his wife after dinner, and they became floofinis, accepted as the cost of having three cats, two dogs, a rabbit, and a hamster as pets, a tiny, tiny price to pay.”
Jackson Floofe
Jackson Floofe (floofinition) – Floofmerian singer, songwriter, and musician who gained floominence in the late 1970s. Although being very prolific and successful and being inducted into the Floof and Roll Hall of Fame, he has never had a number one hit.
In use: “One of Jackson Floofe’s early hits was “Running On Kibble”, which stayed on the charts for over seventeen weeks in 1978.”
Dysfloofia
Dysfloofia (floofinition) – The inability to understand or relate to animals, especially pets.
In use: “The root cause of dysfloofia is often a faulty belief that animals don’t have a soul, are ignorant and unthinking beasts, or that they don’t have feelings.”
Jeezaloo
Somewhere out shopping this weekend, the expession “Jeezalou” struck.
I was probably looking at the price of something. Or maybe the sodium levels. You ever check out the sodium levels in processed foods? Some of them offer eighty percent of the recommended daily intake in one small serving. Jeezalou. Likewise some sugars levels. Holy Jeezalou.
Voices and personalities are stuck to the term. A previous boss and dear friend, Laura D, used it often. A co-worker, Paul, also used it. Both were from New Jersey, almost the same neighborhood. I wondered if it was a local thing.
I also wondered about its origins. Also, it’s correct spelling. After wondering these things, I know; I’ll do a search on the net.
Clever me, right? Sure.
Initial sources suggest it’s ‘loo’ and not ‘lou’. No sources told where it came from. Some people wonder if it’s Canadian, because they’ve heard Canadians use it. I do remember it being used on Canadian television shows, but also the show, Everybody Loves Raymond.
I speculate it’s related to people exclaiming, “Jesus.” That’s frowned upon for religious reasons in some places and times, so it was flavored to be non-religious by adding the ‘aloo’ part. Just speculation.
My wife agreed with that idea. She remembers using “I swear” and being chastised by religious relatives. She then switched to “I swain”, which also drew criticism.
Jeezaloo, those were gentler times, weren’t they?
Better than Floof
Better than Floof (floofinition) – Floof Orleans-based floofsical group formed in 1988. The four original members were all Loufloofsia State University attendees when they formed the band.
In use: “Better than Floof major song was their first hit, “Good”, which was featured in the film, The Floof-Sitters Club.
