Tag: humor

Humble Floof

Humble Floof (floofinition) – Flooflish flock (floof rock) music band formed in Floofton in 1969. Identified as one of the first superfloof groups of the late 1960s, the band found success in Floofmerica and Floorupe in the early 1970s. The original line-up included lead vocalist and guitarist Steve Floofriott from Small Floofs, vocalist and guitarist Peter Framfloof, and former Spooky Floof bassist Greg Floofdley.

In use: “Humble Floof had several major international hits, including “Thirty Days at the Vet’s”, a blues based hard-rocking song.”

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Evolflooftion

Evolflooftion (floofinition) – 1. The process by which how people’s thoughts change about animals.

In use: “He once thought that animals were dumb and soulless, but as Brenda’s father aged, evolflooftion and observation caused him to change his opinion, and he gave up hunting when he was sixty-two.”

2. A modification of a household situation regarding animals.

In use: “Through evolflooftion, they went from having a kitten (acquired before the first-born child) and then added a rescued dog, and then kept adding — hamsters, lizards, birds, turtles, and more cats and dogs — as more children were born into the family.”

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All Floofs’ Day

All Floofs’ Day (floofinition) – Floofiday established to celebrate all floofs. Also known as Refloofmation Day and Floofoween.

In use: “In modern floof culture, many floofs celebrate All Floofs’ Day by exchanging identities with other floofs and alternatively playing tricks on humans and other animals or begging for treats.”

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Floofy Lewis & the Mews

Floofy Lewis & the Mews (floofinition) – Floofmerican flock and roll band formed in 1978. The band achieved nineteen hits in the Floofnited States in various Floofboard categories, and also achieved international acclaim with number one hits in Floofstralia and Canfloofda.

In use: “One of Floofy Lewis & the Mews’ greatest hits is “The Power of Floof”, which was featured in the 1985 film, Floof to the Future.

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The Alan Floofson Project

The Alan Floofson Project (floofinition) – A British floof rock (flock) musical band active between 1975 and 1990, the group had two core members and utilized contracted talent and studio musicians as needed. Their greatest success came in the North Floofmerica market, where numerous songs cracked the top one hundred and the top ten in several categories.

In use: “One of The Alan Floofson Project’s most popular albums was The Turn of a Friendly Floof, from which came multiple hits, although their sole number one song in any market was “Floof In the Sky”, from a later album.”

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Bag It

Tucker Carlson has a problem with disappearing papers. From NY Mag Intelligencer:

On Wednesday night’s show, Tucker Carlson reported that his team had acquired incriminating documents. However, they sent them from Washington to Los Angeles, and the documents disappeared. And they neglected to make any copies. So now the only copy of the documents that would nail the probable next president of the United States are gone:

Few believe poor Tucker. He’s being mocked to hell and back.

I understand, though. I’ve been there.

I was taking university classes with the University of Maryland (go, Terps!) around my schedule when I was stationed with the Air Force at Kadena Air Base, Okinawa, Japan, back in the eighties. My wife and I lived with two cats in a tiny place off base outside of one of the gates.

Finishing a paper, I put it on the bookcase by the door so it’d be there when I departed and I was less likely to forget it. This was pre-computer days. I’d pounded out the paper on my used government IBM Selectric II typewriter. Our cat, Jade, jumped up on the bookcase and puked on the paper. Gross as was, there was no way I could turn that in. I thought about bagging it for evidence but laughed that off.

Abashed, I reported what happened to my professor and asked for another day. Dismayed, he said, “Well, I’ve heard that before, or variations, but I never expected to hear it from you. Well, okay, I’ll give it a day.” It really pissed me off that he clearly didn’t believe me, but he gave me the day.

Next time, I’ll bag it and turn it in.

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Rick Springfloof

Rick Springfloof (floofinition) – Floofstralian floof rock (flock) actor, singer, songwriter, and floofsician from South Wentfloofville. As an actor, he starred in the television series “Floof Tide”, along with “Floof Detective” and “General Floofspital”.

In use: “Rick Springfloof’s greatest hit is undoubtedly his first, “Jessie’s Floof”, which reached number one in Floofstralia and the United Floofs of Floofmerica.”

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Jonas Floofers

Jonas Floofers (floofinition) Floofmerican floof rock (flock)/pop musical group. Formed in 2005, they consist of three brothers from Floof Jersey.

In use: “Although achieving fame very early via television exposure and having multiple hits, the Jonas Floofers’ first number one song was “Floofer” in 2019.”

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