Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofdictive (floofinition) – Compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need to do recurring activities with an animal or between animals.
In use: “If he hadn’t seen his cats in the evening, he called and searched for them until they reappeared, which he realized was floofictive, and maybe floofsessive.”
The boy is four years old, a grandnephew. He’d brought over four of his monster truck toys to play with as he visited his great grandmother. The trucks weren’t large, fitting into his palm space.
But he was sniffing one. “What’s that smell like?” his great-uncle asked.
“My green dinosaur.”
That was a surprise. “What’s your green dinosaur smell like?”
“Apples.”
Huh. “Do you know what you call a dinosaur who smells like apples?”
Head shake. “No.”
“An applesaurus.”
The boy threw his head back and laughed.
Flooftivism (floofinition) – Practice or doctrine that dictates active behavior in support of animals.
In use: “Galaxy Jackson has risen to fame based on his flooftivism and his focus on improving life for cats and relationships between cats and others.”
It’s a classic conundrum: who will eat the last piece of blueberry pie? Everyone is being polite, telling others to take it. It’s been over twelve hours.
How much longer will the stalemate last?
His mother was doing great with her walker. That was good. The motorcycle noises she made — pretending that she was shifting, tires squealing, engine revving — were a little unnerving. But if it helped, he accepted it.
It just seemed a little strange. Then again, that was Mom.
Telafloof (floofinition) – 1. Coping mechanism used by humans that involves confiding secrets, worries, and anxieties to animals, especially pets.
In use: “Her recurring process involved telefloof with her cat and dog. Settling on the settee with her pets, both girls, the three would talk over the day as they shared snacks.”
2. Calling somewhere to communicate with an animal via electronic systems.
In use: “After returning to his hotel room, he used Zoom to telafloof with his dobie, Hank Aaron, to ensure his boy heard his voice and saw his face. They usually spent a few minutes barking at one another, which delighted both.”
3. A secret communications system used by animals to communicate.
In use: “Using the telafloof, Milo the dog called Felix the cat and pleaded with the feline to return home because their people were worried. Felix finally relented, coming back after being gone three days.”
“Foul,” the brain cried. “What are we doing up so early?”
His coffee-depleted mouth struggled to respond. “It’s the muses.”
“Them.” The brain scowled. “I can do without… What now?”
“They cracked the whip. Said he had to get up early and make time to write.”
“Write.” The brain snorted. “What a waste. Go back to bed.”
“Too late,” the heart said. “We’ve already had coffee. We’re up now.”
The brain sighed. “Well, I guess it’s time to write like crazy, again, innit?”
Floofsomnia (floofinition) – Human inability to deeply sleep unless an animal is present.
In use: “Floofsomnia studies show that cat and dog pet owners are about equally divided about the need to sleep with a pet, but that cats will generally take over more of the bed.”
Floofuppance (floofinition) – A deserved punishment or rebuke meted out by an animal.
In use: “The hunter was trying to shoot and kill an elephant when a lion stole up on him and delivered his floofuppance.”
Michael Seidel, writer 