His reflection from the mirror startled him. He looked just like an Oompa-Loompa from Charley and the Chocolate Factory.
Just one of those days, he told himself with a suppressed sigh.
Flooftine
Flooftine (floofinition) – A regular course of action established by one or more animal’s needs, habits, practices.
In use: “Like many people with pets, Gina discovered her activities prescribed by flooftines. The dogs’ flooftines were manageable because the dogs were more accommodating and willing to bend their flooftines to Gina’s routines. But that cat, Loki, honored no one’s orders but his own, rising at three AM to gallop around, eat, and then waking the others to feed or play with him. Lokie’s flooftines were disruptive.”
Merchfloofdising
Merchfloofdising (floofinition) – 1. Sales and service promotions directed toward people living or caring for animals.
In use: “More recent developments include merchfloofdising such as commercials for pet health insurance, playing heavily on guilt and responsibility to push people to buy the products.”
2. Advertising which use animals to project traits such as speed, power, and strength, to entice people into buying products and services.”
In use: “Subaru’s advertising has a heavy merchfloofdising bend to it, with one recent television commercial featuring a man bonding with a dog over the years which he owns his Subaru.”
Sunday’s Wandering Thought
He remembered when his family ordered things from a catalog when he was a boy. First, there was filling out the form of the item numbers, quantities, and prices. “Get my credit card from my purse,” Mom would order. The 800 number was called, the order placed.
Days of mystery would ensue. When would the order get here? Where is it now? Each day brought the three Ws: watching, waiting, wondering.
Slip forward a few decades. Companies began telling him exactly when his order would arrive. Shipping and tracking advances continued. Soon, he tracked his packages as they left faraway cities and countries and zigzagged a path to his home. He knew exactly when it would arrive. It was immensely satisfying.
Systems matured and processes evolved. Breakdowns from overloaded, overpromising systems became endured. Tracking information is still sent out, but he frequently finds himself as he was when he was a child, watching, waiting, wondering.
He feels like he’s gone full circle.
Imfloofuity
Imfloofuity (floofinition) – An animal or animal behavior exempt or immune to blame or punishment.
In use: “Two cats and three dogs lived with Michelle and her family, and the pets knew the rules. Then a new rescue kitten arrived and was given imfloofuity, getting onto the tables and kitchen counters, knocking things off shelves, and attacking plants. The other animals asked one another why that floof was allowed to do these things, but then the sweet little floof walked up and gazed up at them with her big eyes, and the other animals immediately forgot why they were upset.”
Floofytum
Floofytum (floofinition) – The innermost sanctuary in an animal’s resting or meeting space, open only to priests.
In use: “People have found that their pets like kennels as a floofytum as only other animals are small enough to enter and humans are forced to remain outside, giving the floofs privacy and security. Pets without kennels will make up their own floofytums in drawers, closets, baskets, or under
Affloofmation
Affloofmation (floofinition) – Positive actions or behavior to reassure an animal and gain their trust.
In use: “Learning how to interact with animals as she grew up with a life full of birds, lizards, cats, dogs, goats, horses, cows, and llamas, Peaches developed a repertoire of affloofmations and became known as ‘The Floof Whisperer’.”
Michael Seidel, writer 