Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofsbody (floofinition) – A person, gofer, or dogsbody who must do boring, menial tasks for animals.
In use: “Most people who live with floofs become a floofsbody, taking care of their bedding, cleaning and replenishing their food and water bowls, brushing their fur, and so on, as if their floof is their master and they are the servant.”
UFP: Unexpected Floof Presence (floofinition) — Condition where an animal shows up or gets involved without any announcement or invitation.
In use: “Clipping his toenails was stalled by UFP when his cat, Tucker, came over and started rubbing against his hand holding the toenail clippers and then started rolling around on his foot.”
Floofagogy (floofinition) – The science and art of teaching animals.
In use: “After he was rescued, Buddy Guy, a big tabby Tom, acquired knowledge of floofagogy and started instructing kittens and ferals being fostered by his new human about how to be a cat living with people.”
Stolen from a friend. She said that her father used to say this, teeth grit, under his breath.
Wednesday felt like Friday. He searched through his layers of mental dirt and emotions about why Wednesday felt like Friday. As he found no reason, he concluded that it was Friday, not Wednesday. It was everyone else who was wrong. Not him.
Proflooftism (floofinition) – An attitude toward animals dominated by desires and efforts to improve animals’ circumstances and improve conditions for animals even if such activities diminish human’s control over animals or challenges cultural traditions.
In use: “With the advent and rise of proflooftism, nations are being urged to eliminate sport or trophy hunting, and cruel sports such as bullfighting and cockfighting.”
He thought, it must be a sign of maturity when you use scissors or a knife to open a bag of chips or cookies, instead of just biting it open with your teeth.
He eavesdrops on others. He always does, the rogue. This time, he’s listening to three attractive women as they meet and discuss their lives. Their shifting topics could have been lifted from his own existence. He has to restrain himself from chiming in when they try to remember the name of a television show or when they struggle over recalling the name of Amor Towles’s latest novel or Jerry Seinfeld’s writing partner. He’d love to plunge into their brief discussion about The Mists of Avalon as one tries to tell the others about the novel.
But he doesn’t know them, and they don’t know him. They might think it’s rude.
Michael Seidel, writer 