Tag: humor

Saturday’s Wandering Thoughts

Forty-one holiday bowl games are coming up in the next several weeks.

I live in Oregon. I’ve quasi-adopted the two major colleges’ sports team. More like surrendered than adopted, as the colleges and their sports teams are frequent news and conversation topics. Both college football teams are ‘ranked’ this year and will play in bowl games.

The names of these bowl games are psyche shredding. The Oregon State Beavers face Notre Dame in the Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl. Seriously.

Oregon University’s Ducks will play Liberty in the VRBO Fiesta Bowl.

You should check out the names of these corporate sponsored NCAA college football bowl games. Remember, this is about amateur sports. Among them is the Cricket Celebration Bowl in the Mercedes Benz Stadium. Avocados from Mexico Cure Bowl. Famous Toastery Bowl. Roofclaim.com Boca Raton Bowl.

I wonder how many years it’ll be before the teams have corporate sponsors. I’m sure many will watch the Nike Oregon University Ducks vs the Eli Lilly Fighting Irish of Notre Dame in the VRBO Fiesta Bowl or maybe, instead, the Columbia Sportswear Company Oregon State Beavers (sometimes just called the Columbia Beavers) against Freddie Mac Liberty University in the the Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl.

I don’t plan to watch any of them.

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Floofularity

Floofularity (floofinition) – An animal with unusual, special, or unique behavior or characteristics. Origins: Fourteenth century, more specifically indeterminate.

In Use: “One of the joys for people inviting an animal to join their family is discovering their new fur friend’s floofularities about food, play, and being friendly.”

In Use: “Every day, Marcia regaled people at work with tales about her puppy’s floofularities, making others laugh as she shared Manfred’s silly sleeping and eating habits, and the way he liked snugging up with her and snoring.”

Recent Use: “Many animal fosters like posting their efforts on Facebook and other social media places, sharing videos of the animal’s floofularities and growth, trying to encourage readers to adopt the animals, or give to their cause.”

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Floofuary

Floofuary (floofinition) – A period when animals’ boredom rises and they sleep more, usually in response to colder weather and shorter periods of daylight.

In Use: “In the northern hemisphere, Floofuary tends to kick in a few weeks before the year’s end as cats and dogs decide to quit venturing outside to test the temperature and just curl up and sleep, only rising to eat.”

In Use: “Bucking trends, some thick-furred animals are thrilled when Floofuary arrives, racing around through snow with utter abandonment and pure joy, dismissive of ‘cold’ weather.”

Recent Use: “Facebook posts become rich with videos of animals encountering snow for the first time when Floofuary strikes, amusing us all as animals chase flakes or become snow covered.”

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Racfloofteur

Racfloofteur (floofinition) – Someone skilled in telling animal stories. Origins: Late1800s, American Great Plains states and territories.

In Use: “Gathering in the break room, Mike was the office racfloofteur with his tales about his cats’ battles with him and each other.”

Recent Use: “Though normally reserved, Mai had three dobies became a racfloofteur whenever anyone asked her about her floof friends, weaving engaging stories about the animals’ intelligence, curiosity, and the things they did.”

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An Evil Plan

I asked my wife this morning, “Do you know the song, ‘Walk Right In’?”

Nodding, she sang the first verse and then asked, “Is it your ear worm today.”

“Yes. Do you remember any more lyrics?”

Mumbling through the melody, she laughed. “No.”

I sang her the song to remind her. She sort of shrugged me off.

Encountering her in the kitchen thirty minutes later as I was getting ready to leave the house, she said, “Well, your evil plan worked.”

Laughing, I sang, “Walk right in.”

She glumly nodded. “It’s stuck in my head.” Walking past me, she hit my arm.

I just laughed more.

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Floofwriter

Floofwriter (floofinition) – Individual who documents or records stories or information about animals by using written words. Origins: Indeterminant but first referenced in print in 1804 in Massachusetts, USA.

In Use: “Once floofs enter their lives, the modern proclivity is for people to become a floofwriter and share tales about their new loves on the net.”

In Use: “An early floofwriter was Beatrix Potter, who created Peter Rabbit in 1902.”

Recent Use: “Seabiscuit is a favorite subject among floofwriters and has been the subject of many books and films due to the small horse’s victories during the American Great Depression.”

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Another Wandering Thought

Yes, it’s a little early in the week for a rant, but here I am.

In July of 2023, Twitter was renamed X. Since then, there are many who still write things like, “X, formerly known as Twitter,” or some variation of that.

Do those posting that really think people need reminded? Are there people out there asking, “Say, whatever happened to Twitter? And what is this ‘X’?” Are people reading those posts and articles where it’s written, “X (formerly known as Twitter),” and then turning to others with a gasp of surprise and asking, “Did you know that Twitter is called X now?”

How many more months will pass before this trend ends? Do we need to have a New Year resolution about it?

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Monday’s Theme Music

Mood: respectable

After a nocturnal thimble of rain, waking up to 41 F was a welcome change from the cold-morning streak that’s been going on in Ashlandia, where the restaurants are mostly above average.

Today it’s Monday — again — December 11, 2023, for the first time. 48 F now, we’re gonna clock 53 F, the weather prophets reassure us. Sunshine flutters between weak wings and strong glows, pushing efforts out around a flotilla of mixed media clouds and shadowed blue skies.

My theme song is “I Am, I Said”, by Neil Diamond. To be fair, I always thought the song was honest but a little over-the-top. As soon as I heard it, waaayyy back when I was a young adult, I understand what he was singing about. But, yes, some of the lines made me wince. It was one of those which invited The Neurons to plug it into the morning mental music stream (Trademark constrained).

My fault, though. I was walking around the house, looking for my phone, exasperated with myself for misplacing it. As I stopped and forced myself to recall the sequence of last using my phone — checking for a text from Mom and my sisters this morning — I remembered, ah, office, ah, black recliner. And, lo, there the black phone was in the black chair, left there when I jumped up to see what the floof monkeys were screeching at each other about in the other room.

“Of course, in the chair,” I mumbled to myself as I picked it up, checked the charge and confirmed, no texts. Just like that, The Neurons had Neil singing, “I am, I said, to no one there, and no one heard at all, not even the chair.” As the song kept going with only a brief respite filled by “Fifty Ways to Feed Your Floofy” (based on Paul Simon’s song), I felt a need to share Neil’s musical reflections with everyone else and power it out of my head. You’re welcome.

Stay positive, be strong, and lean forward. I’m working on doing the same and may well succeed if I have enough coffee in me. I have begun. Here’s Neil. Cheers

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Misanfloof

Misanfloof (floofinition) – Person or animal who avoids the company or society of animals. Origins: Greek, first used in the stated meaning in 1683.

In Use: “She thought he might be a person she wanted to spend her life with until she decided to adopt a puppy and learned that he was a misanfloof.”

In Use: “Karen loved having a pet floof but somehow always managed to adopt one who was a misanfloof who angered whenever any other animal of any sort was around.”

Recent Use: “His latest movie was about a misanfloof who becomes a prophet surrounded by animals after a climate change disaster.”

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