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Inner floof (floofinition) – 1. In popular floofchology, the animal being dwelling in people.
In use: “Although he could easily take up two airline seats and almost hit his head on the overhead storage, his inner floof is a meerkat.”
2. In analytical psychology, the an animal’s true animal persona.
In use: “Although kittens are small, many are born with a fearless lion or tiger as their inner floof.”
Profloofstinate (floofinition) – Delaying activity or thinking in order to appease, support, or favor an animal.
In use: “Many people hesitate to use vacuum cleaners or power sweepers, profloofinating because a pet is happily in slumber.”
Floofo Voce (floofinition) – Voice modified or used specifically when speaking to animals.
In use: “Many people changed their pitch and tone when speaking to their pets, employing a floofo voce approach rich with their love and concern for their pets, but could also be employed with mild changes, to a play voice.”
Good Floofmaritan (floofinition) – 1. An animal who assists other animals or people.
In use: “Many animals are being employed as Good Floofmaritans, service animals which help people cope with their shortcomings and difficulties.”
In use: “Grandpa Cat, as he was known, was an old street fighting tom who’d finally found a home, but surprised everyone with his Good Floofmaritan side when he helped orphaned kittens adjust by calming, comforting, and grooming them.”
2. “People who help animals.”
In use: “The Internet has helped raise the awareness about animals and their plights, resulting in the growth of many Good Floofmaritan organizations that take in orphaned and abused animals, help them recover, and find them permanent homes.”
3. A parable about an animal who helped other animals and people.
In use: “Floof 10:25-37 tells the Parable of the Good Floofmaritan, a lion who came upon an injured man stayed with the man, bringing him food and warming and protecting him for three days, until help arrive.”
Imflooftative (floofinition) – Copying or following a model or example set by an animal.
In use: “Many floofs, aware that humans are often easily manipulated, like to induce people to pursue imflooftative behavior, such as barking, meowing, and purring. Animals often regard these antics and post them on Floofbook for others to experience.”
Afloofment (floofinition) – 1. The state of being amused by an animal’s behavior.
In use: “Everyone enjoyed watching amusing animal behavior, but the web facilitated an explosion of afloofment as people posted and shared funny animal actions by the thousands each day.”
2. Activity done to entertain or distract animals, especially housepets.
In use: “After a new pet joins the household, people typically exert time and thought to see what afloofment their new fur friend likes, trying games like fetch, tag, and rassle.”
Flooface (floofinition) – The facial expression that people don while addressing animals.
In use: “Squatting down to the speak to the large dog, she raised a hand, finger extended for him to smell, put on an inviting flooface, and adopted a comforting tone of voice to earn his trust.”
Floofseeching (floofinition) – A posture and behavior employed by animals to gain favors or reprieves.
In use: “The home security cameras showed the German shepherd knocking over the kitchen garbage can and strewing the trash around the kitchen, breakfast nook, and dining room, but when Guy went to administer scolding, his dog’s floofseeching (sad eyes, contrite body language, down tail, hiding in the corner behind the sofa) diminished his ire. He couldn’t stay angry at such a sweet face.”
Floofsient (floofinition) – An animal who stays in a place on a temporary basis or for a brief period.
In use: “People often bring animals in as floofsients, fostering, socializing, and protecting the animals as they heal. Sometimes the floofsients decide that they’ve found home, making it a foster fail.”
Floofmail (floofinition) 1. An animal’s attempt to influence a person’s actions via affection or threats.
In use: “Deciding to resort to floofmail, the kitten started hissing and spitting, but the woman continued washing the little feline, ridding its tiny body of ticks, fleas, dirt, and grease.”
2. Traditional or electronic mail devoted to subjects and news about animals.
In use: “As he grew more concerned about the environment, he signed up for greater numbers of newsletters about animal rescue organizations. Floofmail soon dominated his daily correspondence.”
3. Mail delivered by an animal to its people.
In use: “Every day, the retriever greeted the mail carrier, ate a treat that was offered, and then accepted and delivered it to the bedridden man, which always earned him another treat, proving floofmail’s value in the digital age.”
Michael Seidel, writer 