Tag: housepets

Floof Code

Floof Code (floofinition) – 1. Set of rules imposed on animals by humans.

In use: “The house’s floof code dictated, no cats on the counter, no dogs on the sofa, and no fighting, but the four amigos often broke the three rules.”

2. Official standards and guidelines established by the United Federation of Floofs regarding how animals will interact and treat one another.

In use: “Although the Floof Code was agreed upon over twenty-five years ago, widespread adoption among all species has been slow, with cantankerous species like crocodiles and alligators stubbornly refusing to accept it.”

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Panfloofmonium

Panfloofmonium – (floofinition) – Wild and noisy disorder, confusion, or uproar caused by animals, especially pets.

In use: “The two cats decided on a mad dash, releasing wild meows as they galloped about, attacking air, causing the dog to freak out and start barking in alarm, while the bird mimicked a police siren, and the children laughed at the panfloofmonium.”

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Floofiverse

Floofiverse (floofinition) – Totality of existence, as far as an animal is concerned.

In use: “The dog’s floofiverse began and ended with his yard and his people, although his floofiverse expanded and contracted as his humans took him for rides and walks, which was great, as long as he was with them.”

2. A cosmological model supporting the Fur Theory, which holds that all matter is created from fur and hair shed by animals.

In use: “Keri was dubious of the Fur Theory and the idea of a Floofiverse — which, according to Floofology, held that the universe and its matter was a subset of the Floofiverse created as something to occupy human’s attention, sort of like a bell inside a plastic ball — but she was beginning to be a believer. It certainly seemed like everything was made of cat and dog hair, she thought, on her knees, cleaning animal fur from her carpet, which she had just done yesterday.”

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Dia de los Floofos

Dia de los Floofos (floofinition) – A celebration of animals with an emphasis on those who have gone over the rainbow bridge, normally celebrated between October 31 and November 2.

In use: “She was always circumspect about observing dia de los floofos, quietly opening a binder with photographs of her fur friends, like little Jojo, a sweetheart if there ever was one, Bumble, who disappeared one night and was never seen again, and Max, her first fur friend, a big white dog given to her as a pet when she was a little girl.”

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Floofomania

Floofomania (floofinition) – Obsessive desire to be with animals, or to immerse oneself in objects and matters related to animals.

In use: “It wasn’t enough that he had four cats. He’d become a floofomania, with cat art on his walls, cat sculpture on his tables, and cat-themed socks, shirts, and ties. Friends and family privately whispered to one another about holding an intervention. When he heard about it, he laughingly called it an ‘interflooftion’. That just disturbed them more.”

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Flooftop

Flooftop (floofinition) – Game played among housepets. When they hear a can, box, or bag being opened, they all race to the source. First animal to arrive expects to receive all the goodies or food.

In use: “When she opened a can, the Yorkie leaped up with a yip and bolted into the kitchen like a flash of black light, slowing down only enough to look back and laugh at the cat before trotting into the kitchen to claim another flooftop victory.”

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Derfloofative

Derfloofative (floofinition) – Animal behavior or actions which is imitative of behavior or actions of another animal or a person.

In Use: “A video of Riptide‘s derfloofative behavior when he attends an exercise class has people on the net watching and laughing.”

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Subservfloofent

Subservfloofent (floofinition) – Someone who unquestioningly obeys animals’ requests, especially when dealing with pets.

In use: “Becky acknowledged that she was subservfloofent to her dog, answering every bark or look immediately, asking, ‘What is it, what’s the matter, what can I get you?'”

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Luminal Floof

Luminal Floof (floofinition) – An animal at the threshold of change of life or situation, especially those who have endured and are starting anew under fresh circumstances.

In use: “The luminal floof, nominally a five-year-old cat appeared older, aged by years on the street, enduring winters, dodging traffic, and begging for food, still awaited a name at its new home, but took advantage of the quiet and secure warmth to stretch, yawn, and sleep.”

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SNOFIE

SNOFIE: Suspicious Nearby Object Floof Inspection & Examination (floofinition) – Highly developed process involving smelling, listening, eyeing, and sometimes tasting (SLET), employed by floofs to ascertain whether new materials or creatures found at hand is safe.

In use: “Using SLET, animals newly introduced to a home will recalibrate their SNOFIE by walking through all the rooms, visiting with every object, critter, and piece of furniture that they encounter.”

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