Agitfloof
Agitfloof (floofinition) 1. An animal who displays irritating habits or behavior, or makes sounds which others find annoying.
In use: “The three new puppies were adorable, but the boy — who became known as Mephistopheles — was an agitfloof with huge energy bands, galloping and attacking when the others were sleeping, curious about everything going on, and generally getting into the middle of all activities, invited or not.”
2. Play objects or behavior designed to spur animal’s physical activity and thinking.
In use: “The mousebot — Phelps’ nickname for the toy — was agitfloof that sent a mechanized furry gray mouse racing out of its little gray plastic hill, leading the kittens on a chase for five minutes before ducking back into its plastic hidey hole to dock and recharge.”
Floofgom
Floofgom (floofinition) – Floofish word that roughly translates to ‘just enough’ or ‘good balance’.
In use: “For many cats, when floofgom is reached when their belly is being rubbed, they will immediately announce, ‘That’s enough’, often by love bites or some quick claw action.”
Arifloofacy
Arifloofacy (floofinition) – Governing or ruling by a small set of animals.
In use: “The novel by George Orwell, Animal Farm, is about an arifloofacy and the changes it brings to the farm’s dynamics, but anyone with pets have probably experienced an arifloofacy in action, or had to deal with it, for example, fending off the arifloofacy while eating.”
Flooming
Flooming (floofinition) – Animal’s washing of a human to show their pleasure.
In use: “Whenever Jade began flooming Carrie, she began with Carrie’s hair. Always interested in being part of whatever was going on, Honey the Beagle would join the flooming, eagerly washing Carrie’s face as Jade started on her arms.”
Felix Floofa
Felix Floofa (floofinition) Originally an expression to convey a ‘lucky animal’, the meaning has changed to reference an animal who brings luck to others.
In use: “Surviving COVID but losing her job, on the verge of homelessness, Sylvia found herself feeling hopeless, but then a little mutt of a brown dog was found at the animal shelter. Despite all logic, she adopted the fellow. It seemed like he was a felix floofa, for she was suddenly offered a job which was a promotion, paying better, and the landlord abruptly grew benevolent, forgiving her the back rent owed and reducing her rent. Naturally, she named the dog Felix.”
Bathofloof
Bathofloof (floofinition) – An animal, usually a housepet, which encroaches on people when they’re in the bathroom.
In use: “Barney the Beagle was adverse to closed doors in a house but the big ol’ bathfloof always unleashed a storm of howls when one of his people closed the bathroom door on him.”
Genufloof
Genufloof (floofinition) 1. Gestures, sounds, and postures used to earn an animal’s trust.
In use: “Feral or near feral young animals often distrust humans because they don’t know them, so humans will genufloof by lowering themselves, trying to make themselves smaller, while speaking softly and holding out a non-threatening hand.”
2. A posturing system for exchanging greetings shared by animals with humans.
In use: “Whenever Michael and Papi encountered one another, they genufloofed, Papi by first stretching his front legs and then his back legs in long, leisurely moments, and Michael, by squatting down, saying, “Hello,” offering a kissing noise, and holding out a few fingers for the cat to rub against.”
Kinefloofics
Kinefloofics (floofinitions) – The branch of floofatics concerned with floof activity and motion without reference to the causal forces.
In use: “When a new floof comes around — either as a casual visitor to the property or introduced as a new floofhold member — it’s natural for the other floofs as well as the humans to apply kinefloofics to understand what the new booger is like.” – Excerpt from “Once Upon A Floof; The Relationships Between Humans and Animals”
Michael Seidel, writer 