Tag: housepets

Discountfloofer

Discountfloofer (floofinition) 1. Animal who no one wants.

In use: “With its large, strangely flaring ears, huge, crossed eyes, giant head, and tiny body, few people were attracted to Magnifico, but to Billy, the discountfloofer was a perfect companion and a calming presence.”

2. Animal who is planned for euthanasia or left for dead.

In use: “Because of their conditions, the three kittens were labeled by many as discountfloofers, but the vet decided it was against her code to just let them die as long as they breathed, and undertook the work that allowed them to survive and thrive.”

3. A creature able to stave off others’ approach with looks or sounds.

In use: “The tiny kitten, later named Mango, used a loud, fierce growl, prodigious hisses, and furious spitting to stake his claim that he was a discountfloofer and not to be messed with, and backed up the noises with swift, sharp claw swipes.”

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Floofidecimal System

Floofidecimal System (floofinition) – Process by which animals can make them seem like they weigh ten times as much as their normal weight or appear to ten times their actual size.

In use: “Marcia loved sleeping with her dog and twin felines but they often used the floofidecimal system and end up taking over the entire bed, leaving a small edge for her to use.”

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Efloofzable

Efloofzable (floofinition) Easily beguiled or manipulated by an animal.

In use: “Everyone knew Bonnie was so efloofzable; a doe-eyed look from her dog, a smile from her cat, or the brush of fur against her skin stopped everything else as she asked her fur friends what they wanted and how she could make them happy.”

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Agitfloof

Agitfloof (floofinition) 1. An animal who displays irritating habits or behavior, or makes sounds which others find annoying.

In use: “The three new puppies were adorable, but the boy — who became known as Mephistopheles — was an agitfloof with huge energy bands, galloping and attacking when the others were sleeping, curious about everything going on, and generally getting into the middle of all activities, invited or not.”

2. Play objects or behavior designed to spur animal’s physical activity and thinking.

In use: “The mousebot — Phelps’ nickname for the toy — was agitfloof that sent a mechanized furry gray mouse racing out of its little gray plastic hill, leading the kittens on a chase for five minutes before ducking back into its plastic hidey hole to dock and recharge.”

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Floofgom

Floofgom (floofinition) – Floofish word that roughly translates to ‘just enough’ or ‘good balance’.

In use: “For many cats, when floofgom is reached when their belly is being rubbed, they will immediately announce, ‘That’s enough’, often by love bites or some quick claw action.”

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Arifloofacy

Arifloofacy (floofinition) – Governing or ruling by a small set of animals.

In use: “The novel by George Orwell, Animal Farm, is about an arifloofacy and the changes it brings to the farm’s dynamics, but anyone with pets have probably experienced an arifloofacy in action, or had to deal with it, for example, fending off the arifloofacy while eating.”

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Flooming

Flooming (floofinition) – Animal’s washing of a human to show their pleasure.

In use: “Whenever Jade began flooming Carrie, she began with Carrie’s hair. Always interested in being part of whatever was going on, Honey the Beagle would join the flooming, eagerly washing Carrie’s face as Jade started on her arms.”

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Felix Floofa

Felix Floofa (floofinition) Originally an expression to convey a ‘lucky animal’, the meaning has changed to reference an animal who brings luck to others.

In use: “Surviving COVID but losing her job, on the verge of homelessness, Sylvia found herself feeling hopeless, but then a little mutt of a brown dog was found at the animal shelter. Despite all logic, she adopted the fellow. It seemed like he was a felix floofa, for she was suddenly offered a job which was a promotion, paying better, and the landlord abruptly grew benevolent, forgiving her the back rent owed and reducing her rent. Naturally, she named the dog Felix.”

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