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Heftyfloof (floofinition) – a pet which is large boned or has a thick, fluffy coat of fur, giving it an appearance of being larger that it is.
In use: “He was a heftyfloof, with a silver and gray coat that radiated out, but underneath that coat was a very slender boy.”
Evanfloofical (floofinition) – of or according to the teachings of the animals.
In use: “Following the evanfloofical faith, he soon learned about being patient, compassionate, and giving while interacting with his pets.”
Inflooftory (floofinition) – process for to account for or count pets and other animals.
In use: “An inflooftory was conducted each evening to ensure all the animals were safe and fed. Fortunately all held to habits that shortened the time and effort to locate the dogs, cats, birds, reptiles, and the goat.”
Panfloofism (floofinition) – the belief that housepets have consciousiness, intelligence, and rights equal to humans.
In use: “Her panfloofism kept her from marrying for several years because she simply couldn’t tolerate anyone who thought of cats, dogs, and other animals as dumb beasts.”
Floof-toll (floofinition) – a tax or fee paid to housepets for some liberty or privilege; compensation paid by housepets for services such as feeding, treats, and fresh water.”
In use: “The rescue was his first dog but he soon realized that floof-tolls were attached to everything. Whenever he stood still or sat, the dog came, sat on his foot, and looked up at him in adoration. In return, the dog warned him whenever a pedestrian, car, or another animal approached the house. Both enjoyed the other, and the floof-tolls, such as a scratch around the ears or a treat, were tiny tokens for the shared joy.”
Floofstakes (floofinition) – potential outcome for housepets; in jeopardy for being a positive or negative result for a pet.
In use: “He hated taking his fur friends to the vet. Too often, the floofstakes weren’t good, beginning the slide down a long hill he’d gone down too many times.”
Floofjury (floofinition) – a wound or wounds inflicted by a housepet; one or more judgemental housepet(s).
In use: “He rolled over. Arising from its sleep, his cat reared back and swatted across his face, leaving him with a bleeding floofjury.”
Urban-floof (floofinition) – housepet who lives in the city.
In Use: “As urban-floofs, when the dogs were taken to the country, the wide, grassy fields and lack of noise seemed to surprise them, for they stood and looked for several minutes before starting to sniff around.”
Beer-floof (floofinition) – housepet who enjoys drinking beer.
In use: “He had to watch his dog because the little beer-floof always lapped out of his mug of beer whenever the opportunity came.”
Floof-si-do (floofinition) – a figure in which a human and animal pass each other foot (human) to shoulder (animal) or head, and circle each other as the pet tries for the human’s attention, and the human tries not to step upon or kick the animal.
In use: “He had a full plate of cheese and crackers in his hand, but that didn’t stop his pet from initiating a little kitchen floof-si-do.”
Michael Seidel, writer 