Tag: housepets

Jigfloof

Jigfloof (floofinition) – 1. Animal who helps complete a jigsaw puzzle.

In use: “Once the pieces were put on a table, a jigfloof arrived to join the effort.”

2. An animal whose place in one’s life provides a sense of being whole.

In use: “She hadn’t been prepared for a dog, let alone a big dog, but her friend’s final words put the burden on her. He turned into a jigfloof, providing a piece to her life that she didn’t know was missing.”

Photo: Tucker, the house jigfloof, helping us put together a puzzle that came as a holiday gift. (He refused to to look up at the camera. It’s a principle thing. The first principle is that he’s a cat and doesn’t do anything asked of him. The second thing is that he can’t stand floofarazzi.)

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Golden Floof

Golden Floof (floofinition) – 1. An animal colored or shining like gold.

In use: “Sunshine bounced off the five retrievers, making them seem like golden statues sitting on the lawn in the still morning air.”

2. Annual award presented to animals representing the best in multiple categories.

In use: “Dieter was pleased and proud when his tiny terrier took home Golden Floof Awards for loudest bark in a small dog and most dramatic bark, validating his belief that Rodger’s bark (he was named after the quarterback) was different.”

3. (slang) Expression to refer to an animal that seems to do things right.

In use: “He was lucky with Penny, his copper and black calico. Unintrusive, confident, friendly, and loving, she seemed like a golden floof.

 

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Taxofloofmic

Taxofloofmic (floofinition) – Concerned with animals’ classification and categorization of matter and events.

In use: “In simple taxofloofmic processing, animals first considered the originating dimension of what they encountered, then its planet of origin, and then its relationship with humans, and how humans might want or expect the animal to normally behave.  Few of humans’ preconceptions about animals supported ideas like animals were far more advanced than humans or from other planets or dimensions. Humans were too ignorant (or narrow-minded) to understand these things, and animals were maintaining the subterfuge until humans advanced sufficiently to understand.”

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Floofphasia

Floofphasia (floofinition) – Phenomenon of secret language developed by animals that humans can’t hear nor comprehend.

In use: “Unlike floofish, a language cultivated to be universally employed by all Earth species outside of humans, floofphasia usually resulted in a unique household languages, and typically resulted from one or more of the animals having a poor compehension of floofish.”

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Floofliminal

Floofliminal (floofinition) – Something done by an animal to provoke a response.

In use: “Nosing against the woman’s hand, the dog tapped the others’ arm until the floofliminal behavior worked, and the woman began scratching the dog’s ears.”

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Bedfloof

Bedfloof (floofinition) – 1. An animal who preferred to sleep on a bed, especially a human’s bed.

In use: “The cat was undeniably a bedfloof, getting up to eat, do her toilet business, and drink some water, but returning to bed to groom and then slumber. She looked so sweet, curled up in the middle of the bed, and she was always in the middle.”

2. Shed fur found on a bed after an animal leaves the bed. Related: flooffloof.

In use: “Where the little dog had been curled up asleep was a bedfloof clump that resembled a small clone of the dog.”

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Sycofloof

Sycofloof (floofinition) – An animal who acts with self-serving obsequiousness.

In use: “While the other pets scuttled off and hid, the sycofloof met everyone who came to the door, charming her with her eyes, enchanting them with her fur, and rolling over for belly rubs without hesitation, hoping for pets and treats.”

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Floofluid

Floofluid (floofinition) – Able (or willing) to accept different animal species as friends.

In use: “First was the goat, but then came the horse, a rescue from California’s fire-ravaged north. After the goat and horse became friends, they showed how floofluid they were, becoming buddies to a calico cat who stole in and gave birth (and befriending the little kittens), and another rescue, a weary old yellow dog, and then the injured raccoon. Sami didn’t know what to think about her growing collection, but it struck her that something magical seemed to be happening. She began planning a book, The Magic with Animals.”

 

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The Floof Street Journal

The Floof Street Journal (floofinition) – Periodical written, read, and distributed by animals. Written in universal floofish, the FSJ helps keep animals informed.

In use: “The Floof Street Journal has evolved from animals’ early efforts of information exchange via scents on trees, rocks, and other materials into a sophisticated method of keeping animals informed about what’s going on in the floofverse. Other periodicals, such as Floof Today, The Good Floofkeeping Journal, the Washington Floof, and Floof Times, rose to challenge the FSJ’s position, but it remained secure until digital media, such as Floofbook, raged onto the scene in recent decades.”

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Floof-poof

Floof-poof (floofinition) Animal who seems to disappear without warning, effort, or sound.

In use: “Many housepets have refined their own version of the floof-poof, causing frantic owners to wonder where they are, only to have the pet emerge with a quizzically innocent gaze that asks, “Is something wrong? Were you looking for me?””

 

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