Tag: hat

Thirstda’s Wandering Thoughts

A hard thwack burst from my hat’s brim as I walked along the sidewalk to the coffee shop.

What was that, was my immediate, natural reaction. I’d seen nothing bounce away so I immediately suspected, bird poop. As if confirming it, a large crow flapped away, cawing as if crowing in victory.

Entering the coffee shop, I removed my lid. Yep, I’d been nailed. I remember that some cultures consider this good luck.

It is said that the lucky bird poop belief has its origins in Russia. According to this superstition, good luck and financial fortune may come your way if a bird poops on you or your vehicle. Perhaps the reason for this myth is that the odds of being pooped on at any given time are so low.

I showed my friend and share what happened. He looked and laughed. “It’s a good thing you had a hat on, or it would have nailed your big forehead.”

He was right. That would have created a vastly different experience.

I guess an optimist could say that the bird poop was good luck, because I was wearing a hat when it hit.

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Thurzda’s Wandering Thoughts

I often wear a hat. Not in the house, except sometimes to bed, but that’s another night’s tale. The hat is a wide-brimmed green Tilley. A dozen pins decorates it.

When I checked in for my medical appointment yesterday, the young guy doing my intake looked at my hat and grinned.

“I was just admiring your pins.”

I replied, “That’s my flair.”

His grin grew wider. “You can never have too much flair.”

I answered, “No, but I think I need to speak to you about your flair.”

Laughter answered me. “I know. I gotta work on that.”

We both nodded. It was all an unspoken reference to Office Space from 1999. I figured the kid I was speaking to is about 29 years old, five or take, you know. But just a child when the movie came out.

I feel like we’re part of a secret tribe. The tribe of flare.

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Thursday’s Wandering Thought

A clothing purge was conducted last week. On of the items uncovered in the closet was my military cap. Last worn in 1995, I put that sucker on my head.

Or tried.

It would not cover my head as accustomed in my mil days. I took it into the other room for my wife to enjoy. With a burst of laughter, she exclaimed, “That looks like a skull cap.”

Questions arose. Did the hat shrink as it sat on a shelf for the last 28 years, or did my head really grow that much? I might start measuring my head, track its progress, see how much it changes in the next ten years.

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The Book Sales Dream

I was a young man, collecting and selling information on other people and on events. It started with two young women bemoaning the inability to learn something. I told them that I could do it. Then I did.

When I went around collecting information, it ended up taking the form of a thick hardback book. I showed them the book and then told them I’d sell it to the highest bidder. They were taken back — they’re the ones who suggested the information was needed, according to them — and thought I should just give them the book. I disagreed and said that wasn’t going to happen.

Rain started falling. I decided I needed a safe hideout. I found one side of a wooden crate leaning against a hillside. Pulling it aside, I saw a hole. I crawled through and found myself in a small living space. It was where I’d been living, I realized.

It stopped raining, so I left, taking my book with me. I went around, showing others and generating interest in it. People began offering me money. I wasn’t ready to sell.

My father appeared on the scene, telling me that I had to go to court. I wasn’t bothered by that, I would go to court and win. Dad was walking through a creek at that point. The water was low, just covering his feet, but muddy. The original two women were with him. I was back in a military uniform, following Dad. Note that in RL, he’d had a twenty-year career in the military, then I’d done the same.

I realized that I didn’t have a military hat, that I was outside and ‘uncovered’. That’s against reg and disturbed me. I asked Dad if he had a cap I could wear. He didn’t hear me, and I repeated the question several times before he said, “No,” and then told me that I didn’t need one.

Rain began falling anew. The two women started looking for cover and saw the opening to my place because I’d left my protective cover off. I didn’t want them to go in there. They were going enter but decided that it was too small. I then changed my mind and invite them in. I went in first, and then invited them in and showed them how large my space was. They agreed and then made me an offer on the book of data. It was a very large offer and made me grin in delight.

Dream end

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Saying Good-bye

It’s time. I didn’t want to face it, putting the reasonable off, but finally acquiescing to what needed to be done: I was replacing my Tilley hat.

I’ve had it for a number of years. Like a good companion, it’s with me all the time. I wear it all the time when walking and about ninety-five percent of the time when I’m outdoors.

It shows; the color has faded. Five inch horizontal rips gap along the crown’s front, nicely complimenting the small two inch vertical tears. I’ve taped them together.

The Tilley comes with a Guarantee-for-Life replacement policy. I went to their website and filled out the form. They responded within a few days.

Hello,

Thank you for submitting your request. We would be happy to help you with your Guaranteed for Life claim.

We do require some additional information to determine the eligibility of your item. Please reply to this email with 3 photos (.jpeg preferred as small a file as possible) of the following:

    1. A photo showing the entire item
    2. A photo to clearly show the qualifying damage
    3. A photo of the inside label. This should show the words “Guaranteed for Life”

Once we receive these photos from you, we will review them and determine the eligibility of your item. You will receive an email from us within 2 business days with your next steps.

That was done. A few more days passed.

Then came their answer.

Thank you for submitting your photos. We have assessed your item and agree that it qualifies for the Guaranteed for Life Policy.

Your Guarantee Identification Number is RMA#G00665

Good news! You no longer have to return your item to us in order to get a replacement!

In order to complete your request, we require the following information:

    1. Credit card information for shipping fee –
      • $12.00 CAD OR $9.50 USD  $35.00 USD international . Your credit card will only be charged at the time of shipping.
      • you may contact us at 1-800-363-8737 and leave your credit card number with any agent. Please use your RMA# as reference.
    1. Proof of destruction Photos –
      • We must confirm that your old hat is no longer usable before we can honor a replacement hat.
      • Please Write the RMA# clearly on the hat. If the hat is a dark colour, you may write the RMA# on a white piece of paper and include it in the photo
      • Cut off the crown (The top part) of the hat.
      • Take a photo of this so the removed crown and the RMA# are visible. Save as a .jpeg in the smallest size possible

Once we have received your photos and credit card information, you order will then be processed. Please allow up to 2 weeks for your replacement hat to be shipped. We will email you once your order has shipped.

Destroy my hat? Shudders swept me as I read these words. Yet…yet…the time had arrived. The Tilley was failing. I needed a new hat.

So I took the Tilley for a final walk in the snow. After he dried out, the cats gathered. I played taps on Youtube, cut off the crown, and took the ghastly pictures.

IMG_0984

The deed is done. Now I await my new hat.

 

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The Stealing Dream

I was at an airport, awaiting a flight. Like it often happens (or its my experience), I’d had to rush, but now I had to wait. Restless, I shopped in a store. There I found a dark blue denim cap. Thinking, this is cool, I bought it.

Calls to board are heard through the noisy bedlam. I head that way but find that I’ve forgotten my hat, explaining to her that it’s new, that I just bought it. Amicably, she replies, you should go back and get it, then.

I head back and retrieve my new hat. As I’m leaving the store, I see another man. He has a package — it looks like a toy. Seeing him, I say, “Oh, no. I forgot to buy a gift. Now I don’t have time.” I think it’s for a young nephew, but I’m not sure.

The man replies with a grin and a wink, “Steal it, like I did.” He brazenly strides on.

Dubious, I think, well, okay, what’s the harm? I grab a package like his and leave the store. Guilt immediately swamps me. I want to return the package but I’m also running late for my flight. I can’t resist the urge to turn around and take the package back to the store. Putting it just inside the entry, I turn, put my new cap on, and run for my flight.

I can see my aircraft, a jet, outside the window. Deciding that I need to reach it, I squeeze myself through the glass, ending up between the white aircraft’s nose and the terminal. Wondering, what just happened, how did I get here, I know immediately, it’s because of everything that I’d just done.

The dream ends there, with me in a state of confusion.

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