Flooace

Flooace (floofinition) 1. A person who is not an animal expert or but is knowledgeable about animals from experience. Origins: Internet era circa 2003 in this meaning, a combination of floof and ace.

In Use: “Growing up with dogs and cats — her mother’s cat slept with her from the day she was brought home, engendering some mild, amused jealousy in Mom that Marla had stolen her cat — made Marla a flooace by the time she was fifteen. Everyone thought she would be a vet, but she instead went into politics because she’d decided that the world needed to change and she was the one who was going to do it.”

Recent Use: “People post lost or found animals on Nextdoor, and flooaces get online to offer opinions in the comments sections about what to do to resolve the problem.”

2. The locations where animals like to stay or rest. Origins: Text messages first noted in 2019, created from joining floof and place.

In Use: “Tucker’s go-to flooace is under the dining room table when Michael isn’t home, but on Michael’s desk, chair, or computer, when Michael is home and on his computer.”

In Use: “Being a large dog, the Maxinator enjoyed the kingsized bed in the master suite as his flooace, but the rules said he wasn’t allowed in there, so he had to go to his secondary location, on his huge bed by the family room patio door.”

Recent Use: “Some cats, such as Marley — yes, named after the dog in the book and movie — like to find the most unusual flooace to sleep, like it’s a competition to upstage other floofs.”

Independent Floof

They’re an independent floof of independent means,

(At least, that’s how they see it, just between you and me).

Going where they want, doing as they wish,

Eating off of everything,

Especially your dish.

You can tell them otherwise,

And order them, “Don’t you dare.”

And they’ll wait until you go away,

And then do what they please.

And though you may get angry,

You might even get mad,

You know when they’re gone,

You’ll be very, very sad.

Floof Grand Prix Qualifying

It was on.

Emitting a small chirp, the little orange beast used maximum thrust, hitting top speed as he raced up the Dining Room Straight.

Reaching the Sofa Right, he demonstrated masterful control, twisting and accelerating with some spin, tailfishing as he scabbled for traction on the short hardwood floor Table Straight, then punched left at the Plant Stand. Into the Living Room Complex he flashed, moving left-right-left-right. A short burst carried him on the brief but celebrated Coffee Table Straight to the Back Door Hairpin.

Precisely he executed a narrow spinback by the magazine basket. Then it was back through the gears along the TV Straight, handling the transition from carpet to hardwood floor without a pause. Hard braking and sliding, he made the ninety-degree corner onto the Master Bedroom Straight. Up through the Door Kink he sped, diving under the bed.

Back out the other side of the bed he roared, out the door and down the Linen Closet Straight. The Dining Room Entrance’s hard right was managed with little loss of control. A final sprint for the Foyer start/finish line followed.

He pitted on the Entrance Rug. It’d been a good run, maybe one of the best ever.

He sat and washed in victory.

Cat in the Pantry

There was a cat in the pantry

A floof with the flour

Back past a few cans of beans

Though washing a leg

He issued a green-eyed gaze

That asked, why are you looking at me?

Floof, Wind & Fire

Floof, Wind & Fire (floofinition) – Frequently described as one of the most innovative and commercially successful musical floof acts of all time, Floof, Wind & Fire is an American floof band was formed in 1970. Coordinating and infusing elements of smooth jazz, funk, F&B, floof funk (flunk), floof pop (floop), and dance, they won multiple Floofies and sold almost 100 million albums.

In use: “Released in 1970. “Shining Floof” became Floof, Wind & Fire’s first number one song.”

Floofciturn

Floofciturn (floofinition) – housepets who are reserved and do little to communicate with others.

In use: “He said to his cat, “What’s the matter? Are you hungry? Do you want to go outside?” The floofciturn feline remained sitting where he was, watching the man like the cat had no idea who he was or what he was saying.”

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