Tag: floof

Floofstulfying

Floofstulfying (floofinition) – The dulling or inhibiting effect an animal may have on others. Origins: 2020, United States (Internet), first noted during the COVID19 pandemic.

“In Use: “People who began working at home during the pandemic learned firsthand of floofstulfying as their pets came around and undermined their work effort.”

In Use: Awakening with a zest for work, floofstulfying overtook Pam’s plans as she played with the rescue kittens.”

In Use: “Productivity is sometimes compromised by floofstulfying as people watch videos of animals on the net.”

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Wednesday’s Wandering Thought

In bed. Eyes closed. Cool breeze serenading me.

Then, “thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa”.

Helicopter, my amused Neurons told me but opening an eye showed Tucker the thumper over by a wall, where his back leg hit as he scratched.

Sounded just like a chopper to a sleepy mind, though.

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Xenofloobia

Xenofloobia (floofinition) – A condition where an animal’s hatred or intense dislike about other animals causes them to behave aggressively. Origins: New Floofin, early 19th century. Related: Xenofloofic

In Use: “Many people owned by floofs with non-compete clauses to their living situation exhibit xenofloofbia, growling or issuing angry indignation at the trespasser through the window whenever any other creature enters their domain in any capacity.”

In Use: “Karen didn’t know the extent of her cat’s xenofloobia until the little critter met another cat at the door and launched a yowling charge.”

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The Third Life

It was a night of dreams. This tale emerged from one.

Death came hard.

He hadn’t expected it. A loud noise behind him made him jump, turn, and stop as he crossed the street. A car raced toward him. He heard it but didn’t see it. The impact was short but hard.

Next that he knew, he was rising from his body, an unseen spirit slicing through the night. Below, his furry ginger body cooled on the asphalt. Stars peered through the dark, moving clouds, witnessing it all.

He was entering the quantum tunnel. Humans enjoy calling it the rainbow bridge. Amusing to him and many floofs but most respected most humans. Humans were often loyal, loving, and fun, and offered pretty good food.

He’d already used two lives, when he was two and five. First one was the stabbing. Loud voices spewed from his people. They wrestled and grunted. Glasses broke. Thumping and crying ensued.

Noises like that scared him. Fireworks. Arguments. Noisy machines.

Refuge in a dark closet among the shoes was sought. He didn’t know what was happening. Didn’t care. He never paid attention to anything not directly affecting him.

Silence fell. Body low, tail lower, he crept out.

His woman was crying on the kitchen floor. Salty snot and tears covered her face. She sagged against the dark wooden cupboards. His man was sprawled a few feet away. Blood expanded around him. A knife rose from his side.

He sniffed her, and then him, identifying anger. Love. Frustration. Pain. Death.

The decision to return the man to life was instantaneous. That wasn’t enough. The fight had shredded his people’s relationship. He not only needed to return the man to life but to a time before the fight.

Sitting, calming, eyes narrowing until they remained as emerald slits, the ginger boy focused on going back in time. A time bubble emerged in his head. He expanded it until it slipped out of his mind and into the air. Once it held him, he thought back through the hours, ignoring the shifting and burbling lights and sounds. Hard to do, because they mesmerized and threatened him.

Exhaustion skinned him after he finished. But worth it. They were happier. He took turns indulging in prolonged naps on their laps, attuning himself to their energies. When they moved, he moved, staying with them, wrapping around their legs to read their energy. As time tipped toward the remembered fight, he bit their arms or ankles, meowed and purred, or chewed their hair until their energy shifted.

“What’s with you, Gingerbread?” they asked, scratching his head and ruffling his fur. “You’re acting strange. Are you hungry? Do you want to play?”

Days passed without a fight. His purrs expanded into a loud, proud rasp. He’d succeeded.

The other life was a simpler matter, bringing the man back from death after a heart attack. After Gingerbread restored him on the sofa where his death had happened, the man awoke with Gingerbread curled up on his chest. Looking at the cat, he rubbed his mussed hair. “Wow, Gingerboy. That was some nap. I must’ve really been asleep. I feel so much better. Guess I needed it.”

Gingerbread purred back.

Yes, he decided as he floated down the quantum tunnel. His life was good. He loved his people and would miss them. He would go back.

Pushing against the growing energy currents, he pressed the other way until the night opened around him again. A light rain was slicking everything, turning it all black. His body remained where he’d succumbed. Getting back into it was a little hard because of the time which had passed, but he persisted, just as he had when he’d shed the collars they put on him. He would never wear a collar. Hated them.

“Ginger,” the man called. And then whistled.

Springing up, Gingerbread ran across the street and up to the front door. “Finally,” the man said, bending, petting him. “Was that you in the street? What were you doing? Don’t you know how dangerous that is? That’s why I worry about you.”

He picked Gingerbread up. “Come on, GB. Time to go in. Tomorrow is another day.”

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Floofsent

Floofsent (floofinition) – A state where animals won’t give or will withold approval or agreement, leaving others frustrated and confused; an ambivalent response by an animal caused by conflicting messages with their environment or memories. Origins: United States, early twenty-first century, Internet.

In Use: “One challenge many humans encounter is the animal concept of floofsent, in which they’ll display intentions to agree or accomodate what is being proposed while also demonstrating that something is bothering them.”

In Use: “The eminent floofologist, I.M. Thunken, believes that floofsent is a state animals encounter while trying to address mixed messages their superior senses are communicating to them, or issues of trust generated by their memories.”

Recent Use: “The injured stray dog wanted to trust the people but his floofsent was in turmoil as he confronted his rescuers and felt vibrations reminiscent of his recent tormentors.”

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Tuesday’s Wandering Thoughts

Whenever I come home, I check to ensure the cats are still alive. I do the same with my wife if she’s napping or in bed. Is this normal behavior.

Signed, Am I Being Macabre?

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Today’s Wandering Thought

Heading into a store, I encountered a woman standing to one said, leash in hand. On the leash’s other end was a handsome but elderly golden retriever, sitting and yawning. I said good morning to her and then addressed the dog, “What a handsome, yawning puppy.”

Without a beat passing, the woman replied, “I’ll let him know what you said.”

We both burst out laughing.

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Flooace

Flooace (floofinition) 1. A person who is not an animal expert or but is knowledgeable about animals from experience. Origins: Internet era circa 2003 in this meaning, a combination of floof and ace.

In Use: “Growing up with dogs and cats — her mother’s cat slept with her from the day she was brought home, engendering some mild, amused jealousy in Mom that Marla had stolen her cat — made Marla a flooace by the time she was fifteen. Everyone thought she would be a vet, but she instead went into politics because she’d decided that the world needed to change and she was the one who was going to do it.”

Recent Use: “People post lost or found animals on Nextdoor, and flooaces get online to offer opinions in the comments sections about what to do to resolve the problem.”

2. The locations where animals like to stay or rest. Origins: Text messages first noted in 2019, created from joining floof and place.

In Use: “Tucker’s go-to flooace is under the dining room table when Michael isn’t home, but on Michael’s desk, chair, or computer, when Michael is home and on his computer.”

In Use: “Being a large dog, the Maxinator enjoyed the kingsized bed in the master suite as his flooace, but the rules said he wasn’t allowed in there, so he had to go to his secondary location, on his huge bed by the family room patio door.”

Recent Use: “Some cats, such as Marley — yes, named after the dog in the book and movie — like to find the most unusual flooace to sleep, like it’s a competition to upstage other floofs.”

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