My wife was stewing. “Papi changed his routine today. For some reason, he suddenly wanted outside at 4:22, more than two hours before his usual time. I don’t know what’s going on but there he was, scratching on the door, yipping at me because he couldn’t wake you up.”
Between us, I had been awakened but ignored the floofcas Papi was causing because I didn’t want to get up.
I thought of the reasons why Papi the ginger blade, aka Butter Butt, changed his hours. May have been a bowel movement thing. Papi prefers to use the outdoors as his toilet, frequenting the area by the fence behind the bushes.
But, him being a cat, perhaps he heard noises outside and felt a need to investigate. Conversely, maybe he realized the noises were coming from inside the house and decided that the outside was safer.
Other ideas are possible. Flooflight savings time may have kicked in. From what I understand from floofotologists, floofs are notoriously independent about FST. Each decides when they’ll switch over — or if they won’t switch at all. Often, though, once one floof changes to FST, other housefloofs do the same. After all they don’t want to miss out by falling an hour behind their floofmate, cause food. They’d rather get up an hour early rather than missing out on food.
Floofskirt (floofinition) – 1. Manuever to go around an animal. Origins: Internet, United States, 2024. Derived from ‘tree skirt’: cutting a wide swath around a tree to avoid knocking off ornaments.
In Use: “Unfamiliar with cats, Penny did a wide floofskirt around the calico, but the little thing saw her and ran up with an excited meow and loud purrs. Within seconds, Penny discovered she was under a floofspell and took the little critter home.”
2. A swath an animal takes around people, creatures, or objects it deems suspicious.
In Use: “Seeing the new shoe on the floor, Artie stopped dead, gave it a long inquisitive stare, and then executed a floofskirt and trotted across the living room.”
Tacifloof(floofinition) – An animal who is mostly silent. Origins, Floofish, circa 1734, Flooflund.
In Use: “Yolanda’s big Maine tacifloof let out an angry tiger’s growl in the backyard, bringing her out in time to watch Kosmo chase a big black bear out of the yard.”
I’ve been living with cats all of my life. It may be affecting me. When I see something on our house’s hardwood floors, I tap it to see what it does, as I’ve witnessed my cats do.
I don’t sniff it, though, as they do. Or eat it. I’m not at that stage of my metafloofaphosis.
He watched his cats regard one another. Each feline seemed wary and doubtful of the other although they’d lived together for over six years. He believed that both cats thought of himself as the better floof and thought the other was a little crazy. Of course, being the better floof to them also meant that they were due more attention and treats than that other, inferior floofer.
56 degrees F at this moment. Expecting the mid to upper 80s before the sun’s Ashlandia sojourn ends. It’s Friday, My 12, 2023.
Today’s heat is a prelude to a week of it. What irritates about many of these weather changes is how it jumps into hot weather and collapses into chilly weather with little warning. Why can’t we hit the middle ground and stay there for a while.
I know, I whine a lot. Everyone complains about the weather but nobody does anything. I said it here first…
I’m feeling better in a psyche way today. Dropped some anxiety and stress. I naturally gravitate to being those things although I’m weirdly known for being calm in an emergency. Three things resolved that were affecting my stress and anxiety. Got my retired military ID — now known as a an Identification and Privilege Card — issued at last. Been trying for almost a year. Picture looks pretty good, too. Look like a sea captain in it.
Second, first annual physical since I passed 65 years old. Hell, first annual physical in a looonnnggg time. Nothing untoward discovered. As part of my general hypertension, I suffer white coat syndrome. Getting the appointment out of the way was a relief although they IMMEDIATELY scheduled one for next year, so I’ve got THAT to worry about.
Third, sadly but painfully true, is that the death watch for Uncle Bill is over. Reminders of immortality, sadness about changes, another milestone in growing older all seen and felt with one strike.
I was watching my boy, Papi, an aloof ginger floof, as he watched the street traffic yesterday. He can’t help but get into a position to see what is making that noise? What is coming? Then, as the noise-maker closes in — runner, biker, walker — with or without dog — street cleaner, he turns and flees to the porch’s safety, hides behind a post and leans around, continue to watch. If he sees me watching, he comes over to be let in, and then walks around the house demanded to be let outside. The back door is open this morning, letting him come and go.
Weird song The Neurons thrust into the morning mental music stream. From 1967, it’s called “Tin Soldier” by Small Faces (not to be confused with “One Tin Soldier”, which is a totally different song). The roots to hearing it today aren’t clear. Although I had disturbing dreams, I can’t pinpoint anything from them which would call the song out. My best guess is that the mid to late 1960s was time spent around Uncle Bill, so the The Neurons expanded the sphere, bringing this song in.
Stay pos, if you can. Can be difficult, I understand. I think a cuppa coffee is in order for me now. Let the pouring commence. Here’s Small Faces. See you on the flipside.
Revolflooftion(floofinition) – 1. The course of an animal following a regular pattern.
In use: “Whenever he went into his fenced backyard, Spunky completed several revolflooftions of the grounds, sniffing out the news about visitors and guests.”
2. A sudden, complete, radical change in how an animal behaves or eats.
In use: “After being a stoic monk for the first three days, the little rescued foster went through a revolflooftion, becoming a small food vacuum that needed replenished every three hours.”
3. An animal’s takeover of a household or group of animals, regardless of species.
In use: “Within a week of her arrival, Bonnie — now known as Queen B — had staged a revolflooftion and ruled the other animals with a velvet paw.”
The royal clowder’s faces were grumpy. “I’m bored,” the first floof said. “This — ” He flicked a tail of disdain. ” — snow outside is ruining my day. There are no birds to watch, other cats to chat up, nor even squirrels to argue. I want sunshine!”
“I’m bored,” the second floof said as the third said, “I’m bored, entertain me.”
“Sorry, guys,” the man replied. “There is nothing I can do about it. Here’s some catnip and a couple stuffed mouses to bat around.” He walked off.
The floofs glared at his back. “I say that we replace him,” one said.
“Perhaps,” the second said. “Look how long we’ve had him, and he still doesn’t give us the food and treat that we demand.”
“Not to mention that he can’t do anything about the weather,” the first floof said.
“I’m bored,” the third floof said, and then assumed an attack position. “Wanna fight?”
The royal clowder summoned him to a meeting by the front door. The first floof said, “The weather outside is cold.” The second added, “It’s wet,” and the third went on, “And windy.”
“This must be stopped,” the first finished. “Fix it.”
“I can’t fix it,” the human replied. “I have no control over the weather, guys.”
Cat tails swished. “Silence,” the first floof roared. “If you can’t do it, we’ll replace you with someone who can.”
The three cats stalked off as the man laughed and shouted, “Go ahead and try.”
Michael Seidel, writer 