Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofdentity (floofinition) – 1. Animal people use to symbolize themselves or their approach to life or problems.
In use: “She wouldn’t call it her spirit animal but after seeing a bobcat as a little girl, she adopted it as her floofdentity, using a bobcat themed mug at work, among other things.”
2. An animal’s distinguishing character or personality.
In use: “The puppy was but eight weeks old but had already cemented a lion floofdentity, fierce and fearless, but noble.”
Issuing a hard squawk, a jay glided into the backyard, settling among the crispy brown weeds after a few hops. Cool mountain air stirred the firs and cherry tree bordering the yard.
A ginger and white cat shading herself on the patio flipped over onto her belly and watched the bird. Green eyes grew big. Watchful. She chittered.
The bird snapped off a chirp. Cat and bird glanced around. Six AM on Saturday, a fenced yard. No humans were about.
The cat strolled into the weeds. Bird hopped to her. Exchanges were issued. Then, business.
“What you got?” the cat asked.
“Not much. Neighbors across the street have gone camping. Will be back Friday. Fran, two doors down, fell. Bruised herself but broke nothing. Sissy was sunning herself on her roof yesterday, started taking selfies and almost fell off.”
The cat chuckled. “People.”
“You?”
“Not much. Bear visited the Miltons. Drained their hummingbird feeder. Flipped over a trash can.”
“Heard that. You pass this stuff on to your people?”
“Try. I tell them but they don’t seem to grasp it.”
“Well, keep trying, sister.”
“You, too, brother.”
“Keep cool.”
“Stay safe.”
They parted ways. A while later, the man entered the backyard. Chuckled the cat’s way. “Heard you and that bird going at it.”
The cat meowed several times back, trying to convey the information learned.
“What is it? What are you telling me? You hungry? Want water? A treat? What is it?”
The cat repeated the stories the bird had shared.
The man shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” He went on to water the garden.
The cat sat down with a sigh. That all summed up the problem. People could hear but couldn’t understand.
Floofbulence (floofinition) – Great agitation or commotion created by an animal’s action or presence.
In use: “All was calm in the backyard, with dogs and cats melting fur puddles in the patio’s shade, until floofbulence ensued after a squirrel entered the yard.”
Flooffee (floofinition) – Coffee or coffee drink imbued with animal fur.
In use: “Her back was turned for just a second but somehow, in that sliver of time, her dry cappuccino was transformed into a flooffee.”
Hyfloofchondriac (floofinition) – A person who often worries about an animal’s health, especially a pet, to the point of obsession.
In use: “As her own health deteriorated, Belle became a hyfloofchondriac, worrying about Brownie’s health, taking the little dog to the vet several times a week, where he was always pronounced healthy.”
Michael Seidel, writer 