Floofment

Floofment (floofinition) – Animal action to instigate a reaction or rouse others.

In use: “The dog learned that the best way to floofment Suzanne and get her attention was to jump up, look towards the downstairs area as if hearing something, and then start barking like mad. It worked every time.”

Refloofucation

Refloofucation (floofinition) – A process of training conducted by an animals to break paradigms and instill new understanding about animals.

In use: “After Kevin adopted the big rescue dog, the animal, named Summit, began a refloofucation effort to help Kevin and others understand that being big didn’t mean being mean or aggressive, and that cats aren’t dogs’ natural enemies.”

Owning the Peeps

Owning the Peeps (floofinition) – A strategy among animals that focuses on being sweet or humorous in order to control and manipulate humans, or ‘peeps’.

In use: “Owning the peeps by kittens and puppies is often as simple as invoking ‘big eyes’, wherein the animal presents a wide-eyed look of innocence when they’re caught doing something wrong.”

The Great Refloof

The Great Refloof (floofinition) – Conspiracy theory that claims that animals are secretly sabotaging modern society as part of a plot to enslave humans and dominate the world.

In use: “Under the terms of The Great Refloof, the animals plan to mount a takeover attempt when human activity grinds down due to climate change. Conditions won’t be ideal but floofs’ modeling shows that humans will take better care of animals than they will take care of pets during that period, putting the animals in a good place to succeed.”

Zoomies

Bad weather keeps floofs inside

Where they race around, slide, and glide

Kicking dust up with their paws

Damaging furniture with teeth and claws

Picking up speed, they race and jump

Making us freeze as we hear a distant thump

Leaving us to wonder and shake our heads

Wishing they’d calm down and go to bed

Flooftiny

Flooftiny (floofinition) 1. A small animal.

In use: “The flooftiny they brought home fit into Grace’s palm. They didn’t believe he’d live, but two years later, he weighed over twenty pounds and was a formidable, furry, fun character, not surprising for a Maine Coon.”

2. One or more animals and individuals predetermined by fortune or fate to be with one another.

In use: “The puppy and the kitten came to the house just before Jessica was born. It was like flooftiny that the three individuals would grow up together as best friends, entertaining everyone with their antics and relationship.”

3. An animal’s passive resistance to authority.

In use: “The Husky staged a flooftiny every day, laying down and refusing to walk on the leash in the hot weather.”

TMFF

TMFF (floofinition) [pronounced ‘timfuf] – Shorthand or slang which means Too Much Floof Fur.

In use: “He looked at the sweater he wanted to wear and mentally noted, TMFF. It’d take time and effort to get all that cat and dog fur off it. The sources watched with smiles at his feet, as if saying, ‘See what we gave you? You’re welcome.'”

DSSF

DSSF (floofinition) – [Pronounced] dissif. Slang, text shorthand for ‘Didn’t sleep, sick floof’.

In use: “When she didn’t show at coffee, everyone wondered what had happened to her. Then Judy received a text, “DSSF – Bounce”. Judy translated for the others, “K didn’t get any sleep because her dog, Bounce, is sick.” K was always so devoted to everyone, but especially animals.”

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