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FISS – (floofinition) – Floof Impaired Sleep Syndrome; condition where rest is disrupted by animals. Usually associated with housepets.
In use: “Between Tucker hunting down Michael’s hand for some nocturnal loving and Papi’s demands to go out and back (times four), Michael sometimes suffers FISS and needs a cuppa coffee just to start feeling human in the AM.”
SEGP (pronounced seagep) (floofinition) – Flooflosophy followed by many housepets, SEGP is sleep, eat, groom, play. Floof SEGP adherents, often called seageptians, believe following the flooflosophy helps them achieve a longer, more satisfying life.
In use: ‘When the young cat met the household’s established bird resident, the latter told the cat, “We follow SEGP in this house.” The cat replied, “I’m not familiar with that.” The bird answered, “See the dog. He’ll teach you.”‘
Furocious (floofinition) – An animal who acts or appears intimidating but is very friendly and gets along with everyone.
In use: “The dog looked like something out of Game of Thrones, huge, black, wolfish, with sharp golden eyes, but loved people and animals, especially young and sick animals, eagerly taking care of and watching over them.”
Honeyfloof – (floofinition) – An especially sweet animal.
In use: “Depite a pugilistic nom de floof, Rocky was a honeyfloof, always making friends, no matter what critter he meant. Except flies. They were his one weakness.”
Night came with silence
But then there was a sound
Something cracking hard
Like a window coming down.
Atlas leaped to investigate
And then froze in the spot
It could be something dangerous
And that meant a lot.
But still he had a duty
To protect his furless folks
So he would do as needed
Because his duty was not a joke.
So boldy, inch by inch,
Atlas sniffed and advanced
Till he came to the danger
And finally could relax.
For it wasn’t a burglar
Nor a killer or a mouse
Just the ghost of an old friend, Titan,
A dog who once lived in the house.
Floofking (floofinition) – 1. The ruling animal of a household, group, etc.
In use: “Everyone assumes the floofking must be male because of the human definition of king, but per the flooftionary, a floofking is the dominant animal regardless of gender, size, or species. Humans tend to think themselves as the floofking of their domain, as do cats.”
2. A human who is able to manage and influence animals.
In use: “Marjorie was the neighborhood’s unquestioned floofking — a cat – dog – bear whisperer, according to stories — interacting with everything, especially crows, who happily joined her whenever she left the house.
3. To play like an animal or engage in play with an animal.
In use: “Soon after arriving home, Lucy showed up at Bob’s feet with her favorite toy, ready for a period of floofking.”
